


Twisted Fates

by phoenixreal



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Violence, Forced Prostitution, Forced Relationship, Gaslighting, Graphic Description, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Intimate Partner Violence, Kidnapping, M/M, Mobster Aizen, Multi, Murder, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Organized Crime, Past Brainwashing, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Assault, Rape, Seme Aizen, Threats of Violence, Uke Ichigo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-07-26 18:52:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 56,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7585978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixreal/pseuds/phoenixreal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Plot Bunny/Fic Request</p><p>Ichigo has just always been with Aizen. He's never thought it was strange. He was Aizen's second in command. He was Aizen's lover. And Aizen was everything to him. Ichigo has no doubt of his love and devotion for the outwardly stoic leader of the Arrancar Crime Syndicate. One day, though, after a rough encounter with an associate (in the name of doing what's best for the organizaiton, of course), he is in need of medical attention. Gin, having lost patience, decides to make a move that will irrevocably change Ichigo's life and takes him to Kisuke Urarahara. He knows Kisuke will contact the Shinigami, and when he does, they will do everything to get Ichigo out of Aizen's hands. However, Ichigo has no interest in leaving at all. </p><p>Gin/Ichigo/Shinji<br/>First Story arc: Complete. </p><p>Second Story Arc will continue soon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. By His Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DEAR ANON: (BTW anon comments will henceforth be disabled and comment moderation will be enabled on all my fics)
> 
> When writers write villains, they aren't good people. Almost all the events I write about (rape, torture, humiliation) have a historic precedent. As fucked up as I think something I write is, I look at real stories of what real people have done, and I realize much worse has happened. I make no overtures that this is not violent, disturbing, and horrific. That's what I write. I write these things so I can write what happens on the other side. I write REAL things. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Bipolar Disorder. Schizophrenia. Anti-Social Personality Disorder. Sadism. These aren't for people who want something soft and fluffy. I'm not a soft and fluffy author. I tag everything, and I make sure my readers understand what is contained in my stories. 
> 
> My villains are horrible people. I write them so you can see how terrible they are. And if I'm really good, I write them in a way that you feel sorry for them, maybe even understand and sympathize.
> 
> If my stories make you uncomfortable, good. None of this is just out of nowhere. These things happen. These things change people. So you know.
> 
> I'm not a kid. I'm a 36 year old with a master's degree in counseling. What I do is write trauma and it's effects on people. I write recovery. Do I write sexy scenes? Yeah. Am I one of those people that only looks for hurt/comfort stories to read? Yes. Why? Because of the emotion and the psychology. I'm also a kinkster. I have no problem with rape fantasy or consensual non consent (which I use now and then). 
> 
> If you have issues with this, grow the fuck up and find something else to read. *middle fingers raised at Anon*

 

He was beside Sōsuke Aizen because he wanted to be. He loved him, of course. If he didn’t love him, he wouldn’t be at his side after all these years. However, it was times like these that Ichigo found it difficult to remember that he was Sōsuke’s everything. That’s what he told him, anyway, when they were alone. He couldn’t remember a time before Sōsuke, to be honest. He had taken him in when he was small, and he and the others had raised him to be his second over the Arrancar. He’d always known his position, beside Sōsuke in every way. The Arrancar was perhaps the underworld when it came to the moderately sized town of Karakura Town. It was no Tokyo, of course. However, it contained some very influential business, and thus offered an opportunity for someone to take over and control these things. Of course, Sōsuke Aizen had ties to the larger organizations, one could not run such an operation without these ties.

He didn’t want to do this, of course, but Sōsuke needed him to do it. It wasn’t the first time, of course. He glanced at Sōsuke. He had the small smile on his face and looked at the man that he was talking to again.

“Are you sure? I’ve got several of my professionals in the next room?” he asked the large man named Yammy Llargo.

Yammy had recently been recruited into the Arrancar. He was the leader of a very small group of mercenary soldiers that Sōsuke wanted to become enforcers. Over the years he had grown his organization to encompass many aspects of the world of illegal enterprises. He ran a very successful drug ring, headed by a large, lethargic man named Zommari Rureaux. His contracts and hits for hire section was headed by an impassive, pale man named Ulquiorra Cifer. This group also doubled as cleaners. The extremely successful sex trafficking ring had been headed up by a man named Barragan. He was an older man but he was sharp minded. He truly believed that the decay of the human condition led to people using his services so voraciously. Those were the professionals that Sōsuke was referring to in the next room. A couple of Yammy’s other men had already went over to take advantage of the offer.

There were others, but those were the only one’s present in the room while Sōsuke negotiated with Yammy. Then, when Sōsuke had given him everything in the deal, and said that they could take advantage of either one of the escorts in the next room, or the selection of drugs that had been put out, Yammy had glared at Sōsuke and pointed to Ichigo. Ichigo swallowed a bit nervously, half hoping that Sōsuke would tell him no, that he was not free for anyone to use, but he knew better. Sōsuke did everything for the organization, and that included letting others use Ichigo when they requested it.

Ichigo understood why, though. It was simple. He was very visible to anyone who had dealt with Sōsuke. He was always at Sōsuke’s side, and it was quite obvious by the way Sōsuke spoke to him and would sometimes pull him onto his lap in the middle of meetings what Ichigo was to him. A lot of people wanted to see how far Sōsuke was will to go to secure their alliance. At least, that’s what Ichigo told himself. He always put it in the frame that he was Sōsuke’s lover, not his property or his toy. Even if he told him he was both those things. He didn’t mean it. He said he loved him too, when no one was looking. He had to put a face on for these other people. That’s what Ichigo told himself each time something like this happened. However, as Sōsuke ramped up his activities, it was becoming more often.

“Your professionals aren’t your second in command and personal fuck toy,” Yammy said, smiling at Ichigo. “I figure if you’re serious about this, you will be willing to part with your slut for a few minutes.”

Ichigo swallowed. He was used to the way other people saw him. They didn’t know what they were like alone, though. So he couldn’t show how much it hurt him every time someone called him these things. It hurt even more when Sōsuke did it.

Sōsuke glanced at Ichigo. “Go on, boy. Whatever he likes,” he said, smirking still.

Ichigo nodded quickly, knowing that if he didn’t, Sōsuke would definitely not be happy, and that would lead to complications later. He still had the scars from the last time Sōsuke had been angry at him. It wasn’t like it happened often, and when it did happen, he deserved it. He had agreed to the life he was living because he loved Sōsuke more than anything. He would do anything, even die, for him. So, that included proving their seriousness by going through with this type of request.

Yammy grinned and stood slowly and Ichigo swallowed. The guy was almost seven feet tall if he didn’t miss his guess, and he had rippling muscles everywhere. He supposed the guy was a soldier for hire, so he’d have to have those features. Ichigo slowly walked around Sōsuke’s seat. He took off his suit jacket and laid it over his arm and looked at the brutish man. He couldn’t help but gasp when the brute’s hand shot out, grabbing him by the arm. He smiled and drug him over where there was a small sofa table. The others went about their own business, texting and whatever they did. He winced as he was slammed down over the table.

Yammy grabbed a handful of his vivid orange hair and wrenched his head backward and leaned over to speak in his ear. “I hope you’re well used to this, boy. Because I’m impatient,” he growled and Ichigo swallowed. Shit, he thought to himself. He knew that meant the ass wasn’t going to take any time preparing or use anything.

“If you pass anything communicable to my boy, Mr. Llargo, and I will personally remove your cock and balls, so I would consider that before you fuck him without protection,” Sōsuke said, sighing. “Any damage you cause will be compensated for, as well.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t fuck often, only when there’s something to prove,” he said and let go of Ichigo’s head. “And don’t worry, whatever I fuck up, I’ll pay for.”

Despite his insistence that this was just a part of the job, Sōsuke never gave himself to these people. But he supposed the head of something like this couldn’t be dominated in such a way or he’d lose face. He felt the button and zipper on the suit pants snap as Yammy grabbed the back of his slacks and yanked them. That always hurt, he thought as a pain shot through his stomach from the pressure. He immediately felt the guy against him and his eyes bulged a bit when he pressed enough to breech him. 

His hands gripped the sides of the small table and grit his teeth together. “Sōsuke, I can’t…he’s too much…” he panted, feeling that he was well beyond his comfort level as he forced himself inside slowly. “I can’t…I can’t…”

“You’re fine, quit whining,” Sōsuke said from his position in the chair nearby. “You’ve taken more before, you’re quite the fuck slut, remember?”

Ichigo wanted to tell him, yes, he’d taken more before, but with prep and lube. This was completely different. He felt him finally reach the point that he was fully seated and Ichigo through his nerves were just going to explode. His size was enough, but the unprepared or lubricated entrance had definitely ripped something because there was a radiating pain that went beyond the obvious one. Then, of course, he began in earnest, pulling back slowly and slamming into him hard. His face bounced off the table, and he was almost grateful because it dazed him a bit, making this horribly long encounter a little bit better. At least he had some narcotics in his room because he was going to be sore for a week after this guy was done with him. At least after this Sōsuke was going out of town to Tokyo for a week, so he would get a break and a chance to recover from this. He felt dampness down the inside of his thighs and he figured he’d be in for a trip to Szayelaporro after this.

He leaned his head to the side and bit down hard on his forearm to distract himself when his head cleared. Even through the sleeve of his shirt, he bit down enough that blood blossomed on it. This, of course, was the reason his left arm bore a pattern of self-inflicted bite marks. It took him forever but finally he slammed hard into him, bouncing Ichigo’s face into the table again. He tightened his grip on his hips hard enough that Ichigo yelped and thought if he didn’t let go, he was going to be covered in even more bruises. Finally, he pulled away and Ichigo simply collapsed backward as he slid down off the table to the floor.

He panted and looked up at Sōsuke who was, as usual, not looking at him. He swallowed hard because he was feeling more than a little light headed. He got enough wits to push himself to stand and pull his ruined slacks up and held the front of them together. He had to look professional, even after that. He picked up his suit jacket and put it on slowly, covering the blood blossoming on the white shirt.

“Alright, Aizen. You got what you want. When the boys are done fucking your whores in there, we’ll get our things and move into the compound,” Yammy said as he did up his own pants.

Sōsuke stood slowly. “Very well, I’ll be out of the compound on business for the rest of the day. See Kaname Tōsen, he deals with the living arrangements. Ichigo here will be in charge otherwise, but I believe he should rest a bit after the intensity of his activities this morning. If you need anything the rest of the week, he’ll be in my main office upstairs.”

Ichigo didn’t like the look Yammy turned on him, but Sōsuke continued, as he expected. “However, Mr. Llargo, let me be very clear. Today’s arrangement was my allowance. You will not get another such opportunity. More than anything, Ichigo is mine alone to command, so I will give you one warning. He is more than capable of dealing with you should you make unwanted advances on him. He is very well taught. And I will follow up on the threat to castrate you if you dare touch him while I am gone.”

Ichigo appreciated that because he really didn’t want to put this asshole in his place while Sōsuke was gone. Yammy glared at him.

“That skinny little faggot is going to deal with the likes of me?” he said, turning to look at Aizen.

Sōsuke smirked. “You believe, in error, that he is nothing more than my fuck toy? You would be sorely mistaken. There is a reason he stands at my side instead of kneeling at my feet like any other whore. Do not make the mistake many others have about underestimating him. He allowed you to fuck him because I told him to do so. Remember this, or you will regret it,” Sōsuke said and moved over to where Ichigo still stood. “Ichigo is everything to me, and that is the first thing you and your men need to remember.” Sōsuke leaned over and kissed him gently on the forehead. “Because you will definitely regret making the mistake of approaching him without his permission, isn’t that right, my love?”

Ichigo nodded. “Yes, sir,” he said, his voice quivering a bit. He wasn’t feeling so well at the moment and he really needed a bath. His slacks felt wet, and he honestly didn’t know from what.

“He may be my whore, but he is not anyone else’s,” Sōsuke said, turning back to Yammy with a placid look. “The only time anyone else touches him is when I deem it. Because that’s the way this works. One time, that’s what you get, any more…well, if he wishes to see you again, he is free to do so. However, considering the discomfort you put him through with this encounter, I would imagine he will not be interested in another liaison with you. A reminder, if you wish to have multiple encounters with someone, you should at least try to make them pleasurable to them.”

Ichigo never went to anyone else, no matter how many times Sōsuke reminded him that he could do so if he wanted. He couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else touching him that wasn’t Sōsuke. It was hard enough when he did this for him. It was all to ensure loyalty, though. He was second in command and he had to do whatever Sōsuke said to do. Sōsuke knew what he was doing. He wouldn’t do these things if he didn’t need to do them. He knew that. He was certainly glad that he always reminded them that no one was permitted to touch him, even when they found out what he did occasionally for Sōsuke. He did that completely by choice, after all.

Yammy looked at Ichigo again, and Ichigo knew he’d have to deal with him this week at some point. Sōsuke smirked at him, kissing Ichigo’s head again. “My love, I’ll see you in a week. Let Gin or Tōsen know if you need anything while I’m gone,” he said and headed out to catch his plane.

After he was gone, Yammy gave Ichigo a long look. “You can’t ‘deal’ with me, slut,” he growled. “I’ll be seeing you this week.”

Ichigo watched them leave, and leaned back against the wall. His head thumped backward against the wall and he felt queasy a little. He swallowed and pushed up to get his clothes changed. He’d have to see Szayel, though. His insides felt hot, and he was sweating as he walked to their room. He stopped at the door and steadied himself. His vision had tunneled for a moment and he shook his head.

“Ichigo?” he heard and looked up to see Gin, one of Aizen’s other advisors.

“Hey,” he said, trying to keep from falling into the wall. It was moving and he couldn’t figure out why the wall was moving like that.

“You don’t look well,” Gin said, and Ichigo blinked at him owlishly for a minute. “You’re pale, and…”

Gin didn’t like the look of the boy when he saw him in the hall. He knew that they had been meeting with a new group they wanted to bring in, and Gin knew very well the sort of appetites these people had. He, however, had never seen Ichigo look so bad when returning from one of those meetings. His eyes scanned him and he realized there was blood dripping from his pant leg. He bit his lip and debated. He had been here so long he’d almost forgotten who he was before Aizen. However, this was the last straw. He couldn’t do this anymore. He had to call them in. He had tried to stay under, and he’d done as he was told.

“Don’t break cover no matter what happens. No communication. No updates. Do not break cover unless you are certain that you can bring him down.”

That had been nearly fifteen years ago as he stood in front of Captain Yamamoto. Yamamoto knew about the upcoming betrayal of one of his best men, Sōsuke Aizen. He knew he had recruited Kaname Tōsen and Gin to his side. This had been coming for a long time, almost another five years before, when Sōsuke had recruited a much younger Gin to his side. He’d stayed under when the little boy was brought in and shoved at Gin by one of the men. He had done everything he could, but he’d been helpless to stop him as he trained the boy as his perfect second. He couldn’t break cover. It was the most basic of the rules he’d been given.

He couldn’t not do something. They needed to know, but he couldn’t go directly to them. He had to go to them through a tertiary contact. He smiled and realized that as bad as this was, this offered him the opportunity he needed to get information across without breaking cover at all. Well, not really breaking cover. He pulled out his walkie.

“Szayel are you busy?” he asked, hoping the answer was yes.

“Gin, I’m in the middle of dealing with something, can it wait?” he asked, harried by the sound.

Gin smiled. “No problem. I’ll take care of it on the side. Just a minor medical issue, but I’ve got a man if you’re busy.”

“Alright, just make sure they’re not Shinigami affiliated,” he answered and went back to what he was doing.

Well, technically Kisuke Urahara wasn’t affiliated with the Shinigami anymore. Not officially anyway. He looked again at Ichigo. He was obviously in need of medical attention soon. He didn’t think Aizen even realized what he had happened. He wouldn’t have wanted to see Ichigo actually hurt. What made Gin ache was that Ichigo could walk out of this place and no one, not even Aizen could stop him. He didn’t, though. He truly believed that Aizen loved him. And he loved Aizen with everything he was enough to follow any order he was given, even if it meant something like this.

“Ichigo, we’re going to get to a doctor, okay? You’re bleeding,” he said to Ichigo.

Ichigo looked up with a dazed look, and Gin knew he didn’t really understand what he was saying. He sighed and reached out to steer Ichigo gently. He looked at Gin with surprise at first but followed without another thought as Gin lead him to the garage. He moved him into the back seat of the SUV he drove, and laid him down, somewhat grateful he had leather seats right now. At least blood was easy to clean off of them. He sighed, adjusting the younger man and his hand came away red. He hoped it wasn’t life threatening. He’d definitely seen this before, after all, he dealt with the sex workers on a regular basis. Well, he dealt with the johns that did stuff like this to them. They generally didn’t last long after they hurt one of their workers.

He didn’t call, of course. That would be traced, but he made his way to the small, out of the way shoten. Kisuke ran a candy store as a front for the lab and medical bay he kept in the secret basement. He pulled in at the back of the place; he knew that he couldn’t go in the front. He left Ichigo in the back and went to the door, knocking hard. There was a pause and the door opened to reveal the green clad Kisuke. He wore a kusodo style shirt in green and a bucket hat that was striped in green and white. His gray eyes widened slightly at the sight of the man before him.

Gin wore a pure white three-piece suit, and of course, now it was liberally smeared with bright red splotches of blood. “Gin,” he said, staring for a long moment.

“Ah, Kisuke, I am afraid that I need a small favor.”

“Well, um, what would that be?” Kisuke asked tentatively.

“There is a lot to my story, and I cannot tell it, so I have to ask you to do what you will after I am gone. For now, I ask you for your help with a situation,” he said, smiling broadly from under his fringe of pale bangs.

Kisuke looked at him another moment before nodding curtly. Gin smiled, bowing slightly, and went back to the car. He gently shook Ichigo’s shoulder. “Hey, Ichi, come on,” he said quietly to him. “Need you to get up if you can.”

Ichigo opened his eyes, blinking sleepily at him. “M’kay, we there yet?” he muttered, looking loopy still.  Gin was pretty sure that he had lost enough blood, and he also thought that he might be a bit concussed too.

“Come on, son,” he said quietly. He grabbed him by the arm and pulled him upright until he was standing up shakily by the car.

Kisuke gasped behind him and Gin knew that would happen. After all, he’d been there when everything had happened. He led him to the doorway and Kisuke turned, leading them wide stairwell that led downstairs behind a hidden doorway. Gin took longer than he liked getting Ichigo down the stairs. It seemed he was no longer dripping blood, but he had lost enough to be worrisome. They got to the bottom of the stairs and it opened out into a large area with a couple medical beds and other medical equipment. A door led to another room off to the side. Gin shuffled the stumbling Ichigo to the first bed, letting him sit down slowly.

Kisuke sighed, staring at him for a moment before going to the door to the laboratory and called into it.

“Rukia, Renji, I need you two, now,” he said, summoning both the two young Shinigami agents.

The short dark haired woman and her taller red haired friend came in, concerned looks on their faces.

“What is it, Urahara?” Renji asked, glancing over and seeing someone he and Rukia both recognized.

“What is he doing here? You need to call…” Rukia started to say.

“Hush, there’s not time for that. Rukia, grab a bag of Type O blood, Renji, get saline and antibiotic infusions,” he said, and the other two agents realized there was someone sitting on the medical bed beside Gin.

“Gin?” Ichigo asked, turning to look at him for a moment. “What’s…where are we?” he said, blinking. “Don’t feel so good, was going to take a bath…” he muttered, putting a hand on his head.

Kisuke headed over and looked at him, tilting his head up and looking in his eyes. “Ichigo, I need you to take off that jacket,” he said carefully. “And the shirt.”

“Hmm, don’t mess up my jacket,” he muttered, shrugging his jacket off. “My best one, had to wear it for the meeting today…but bastard messed up the pants. Stupid asshole,” he muttered, fumbling with the buttons of his shirt.

“Here, let me,” Gin said, going down the buttons quickly. Ichigo giggled. “You’re faster than Sōsuke at getting my clothes off, and I thought he was quick,” he muttered.

At the name, Kisuke looked at the two of them, feeling bile rising in his throat. “Okay, lay back,” he said as Rukia and Renji came back with the IV stands. “Renji, get it set up, quickly now,” he muttered.

Gin helped Ichigo lay back, then pulled his legs up on the table. Ichigo’s head lolled to the side where Renji was running the line for the blood back. He smiled at him.

“Who’re you?” he asked, confused as well.

“Um, Renji,” he said quietly, not recognizing this person that Kisuke seemed to know.

“Oh, that’s nice,” he said. “Gin, if I don’t get cleaned up, and Sōsuke comes home…” he muttered.

“He’s left for the week, remember?” Gin said, watching as Kisuke threw a sheet over him. “You’re in charge until he gets back.”

“Oh yeah, fucking bastard gonna try to do something, I know it, gonna have to put my foot up his ass when he comes trying to get to me again. Bastard thinks I can’t take his ass down, might be fun after this…why’s there more pain? Oh yeah…” he muttered, looking away. “Think something got hurt, Gin, that’s no good…we at Szayel’s?” he said, looking around, seeing the short woman who was putting an IV into his arm.

“Szayel was busy, Ichi,” Gin said, standing there and watching as Kisuke got things set up. “This is an acquaintance of mine.”

“Hmm,” Ichigo said. “Ouch!” he muttered as Renji put in the line for the blood.

“Sorry, that’s a bigger stick,” he muttered as he wrapped his arm in gauze.

“What happened to him, Gin?” Kisuke asked, glaring at him.

“Oh, I can tell you that,” Ichigo muttered, looking over. “Bastard was too goddamned rough, that’s what happened. Fucker, I hope he tries something, and Sōsuke will cut his nuts off. One time shot, but that asshole won’t be able to keep to that,” he muttered as he looked at the blood bag, fascinated. “Wait, did I lose too much blood? Wow, that fucker messed me up...explains why the room keeps spinning.”

“Yeah, Ichi, that’s right, so my friend is going to check you out, find out if you need sutures,” he said.

“Whatever,” Ichigo muttered, starting to fade a bit. Gin looked at Kisuke.

“Yes, there’s a mild sedative in the infusion,” Kisuke said, pulling the sheet up and sighing. “Renji, give me the clothing scissors, I don’t want to jostle him by trying to get these off.”

Renji nodded, grabbing the bunted tipped scissors to him. Kisuke deftly cut down the front of each leg of the pants, peeling them off his legs. They were soaked almost through in blood, and Kisuke sighed, reaching for a cleaning cloth, wiping down most of his legs and cleaning most of the blood off of him. He dropped the sheet down again over him. He looked at Gin, asking for an explanation.

“I can’t…” Gin said. “I can’t. I’m sorry. Whatever he says…that’s different, but if I say something…” he shook his head. “I’m doing what I can in my position and it might be too much as it is.”

“It might be too much?” Kisuke said, almost losing his temper. “You bring _him_ to me, and it might be too much? Why didn’t you bring him to me sooner? You’re a traitor to everything we ever believed!”

Gin snapped before he thought. “I’m not a traitor!” he gasped, biting his lip and looking away. “Dammit. Just fucking fix, him and let me go back because if I don’t, there’s going to be hell to pay for everyone,” he said, walking away before he thought and standing against the doorway.

Kisuke had a patient, so it didn’t matter. He yanked out both the stirrups on the table making both Renji and Rukia stare. They’d never seen him use them. “Help me, I have to get him in this and see what damage has been done,” he said, sighing.

Renji glanced at Rukia and nodded, helping move him downward on the table while Kisuke positioned him. He pulled the sheet up and turned on the hanging light, muttering under his breath. Renji and Rukia stood beside the two IV stands quietly, seeing that Kisuke was angry more than they’d ever seen him. Granted, they’d only been sent to work with him for their paramedic training before they were deployed out to their divisions.

By the time Kisuke finished and sat back, removing his gloves, the blood and saline bags were almost empty. He shook his head. “Come on, help pull him back up,” he said, standing and pulling his legs out of the stirrups as Renji moved him back up on the table.

“Give him a few minutes to wake up, Gin, then you can take him back, since I’m assuming you won’t leave him with me,” Kisuke said, looking over at him.

Gin came back. “He won’t want to stay, Kisuke. I’m sorry, he…he won’t leave.”

“Why?” Kisuke asked.

Gin shook his head. “I can’t…it…”

Ichigo muttered, eyes opening and blinking up at a red headed man who was watching him. His head still felt funny, but he slammed a fist upward and flipped backward off the table, landing in a crouch. “Oh, fuck,” he muttered, dropping to his knees, holding his stomach and swaying.

“Dammit,” Gin muttered. “Do you ever think before you punch?”

“Oh, hey, Gin, where’s…why…” he said, looking around, realizing he was completely naked. “Why am I naked?” he whispered, looking over at the surprised faces of Kisuke and Rukia. Renji stood up, wiping blood off his mouth where Ichigo had nailed him in the jaw.

“Szayel was tied up, you needed a doctor, you had a bit more blood loss than was healthy,” he said, watching the others. “This is an old acquaintance of mine, Kis…um, better we don’t share names, eh?”

Ichigo nodded. “Fucking hell, I’m going to beat that fucking bastard into the ground the next time I see him,” he muttered. Rukia came closer, holding out a long gown of some sort.

Ichigo took it and slid it over his head, using Gin to stand up. “Fuck, that bastard, I won’t sit for a fucking week,” he muttered, shifting on his hips. “Fucking take him and fucking with a goddamned baseball bat, big ass mother fucker,” he muttered. “Ow…” he groaned.

“Um, we should go, you need to be back before something comes up,” Gin said, steadying him. “Are you going to tell…”

Ichigo looked at him. “Don’t you say a fucking word about this to Sōsuke,” he growled out. “I’ll fucking handle that piece of shit bastard myself. Even if I have fucking goad him into a fight.”

Kisuke spoke up. “Um, you don’t have to go back,” he said. “You can stay here.”

Ichigo frowned. “Why the hell would I stay here?”

Renji spoke up next. “You look like hell, you’ve got bruises and someone…”

“Fuck off,” Ichigo snarled. “I do exactly what I want to do when I want to do it. So don’t give me any line of shit,” he said, wobbling a bit. “I’ll do anything he asks, and I won’t let him find out I got hurt because of something he asked me to do.”

Gin wanted to scream at the bull headed boy that he didn’t ask him to do anything, that he told him, ordered him, anything, but he knew Ichigo wouldn’t listen. “Come on, I need to get dressed and look somewhat presentable by dinner, otherwise, they’ll be questions,” he muttered, glaring at the three of them. “And you didn’t see me, got it?” he said as Gin helped him up and out of the building.

Kisuke watched him go in silence. Renji was about to say something but Kisuke pulled out his phone, causing them both to wait.

“Sir, it’s Urahara,” he said with a strange tone to his voice. “I found Kurosaki. He’s in Aizen’s compound. He’s one of theirs.” There was a long pause. “Yes, I’ll be there with a report within the hour.”

Kisuke put his phone away and looked at the two young agents. “What’s going on?” Renji asked him.

Kisuke shook his head. “You know about the defection. About three years before, though, one of Shinigami captains had his wife murdered and son kidnapped. That is the boy they kidnapped almost thirteen years ago. He was nine at the time.”


	2. By His Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So leaning toward Gin/Ichigo. Just because that's the way the story is going. I might make it a threesome, though. Don't know for sure. We'll see how that goes.

Ichigo ended up swallowing twice the amount of narcotics he should have by the time he got to his room. He was exhausted and there were marks blossoming on his arms from the IVs those people gave him. He supposed it was better than dead. He thumped his head into the wall and sighed. He hurt all over. He headed to the bathroom and poured the hottest water he could stand and ended up sitting there for a long time until Gin knocked on the door, calling out to him.

“Yeah?” he answered and Gin opened the door, peeking in.

“Just checking in, you doing alright?” he asked, frowning deeply.

Ichigo nodded. “Yeah, just hurt all over. Did they get those fucking people moved into the soldier wing?” he asked, sighing. The water was starting to get cold.

“Tosen got them set up,” he said and grabbed the towel and went over to him. “Here, come on. That water’s gone frigid. Let’s get you in bed. I got some stuff to put on those bruises. Maybe we can get them healed up before Sosuke comes home.”

Ichigo nodded and stood up. He took the towel and stepped out of the bath and let Gin lead him into the large bedroom he and Sosuke shared. The bed was a large king sized bed with a vertically slatted headboard and footboard. There were deep grooves in several places on the slats and boards, but Ichigo didn’t pay them much attention. Gin however got him on the bed and took his towel and winced.

“Ichi, he really bruised you up,” he muttered. He’d seen the beast that had done this, and he was very sure that he didn’t want to see it happen again. “I’ll put this on you, okay?” he asked, grabbing the jar Szayel had given him. Ichigo hummed, already falling asleep on top of the covers.

Gin sighed, opening the jar and carefully rubbing the salve in on his hips over the dark bruising. Of course, Yammy’s bruises weren’t the only ones. Aizen left plenty of his own, but this was more violent than he could imagine. He swallowed, grabbing another blanket and pulling it over him. He leaned against the headboard and petted his hair gently for a long time. He practically purred in his sleep from the gentle attention. Gin sighed deeply. He couldn’t do this anymore. He just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t be a part of tearing this boy apart.

Gin had been surprised when Aizen came back one night with a dirty, bedraggled boy. He was nine years old and scared out of his mind. He’d just watched Aizen murder his mother and then was picked up and taken away. Gin had wondered if he should check in, and almost did, but he remembered what the Captain said. Under no circumstances was he to break cover. He instead did what he could. He comforted the very scared and very hurt boy. Gin, with a couple of the others, Tier Harribel and Ulquiorra Cifer, had wrangled the boy into a bath and then into a locked bedroom. He hadn’t let Gin leave him, he was so scared. Gin had stayed, holding the sobbing child that first night, and several afterward. He begged and begged to go home, telling Gin he needed to see his father and his sisters. Gin did his best, though.

Aizen took the boy within the first week and told him that he wasn’t going home no matter what, so he had to get used to it. The boy had argued with him, and Aizen lost his temper, backhanding him and knocking two of his teeth out. Luckily they were baby teeth, but the boy was terrified. Gin tried to reason with Aizen that he needed to take a less heavy hand with him, but Aizen said he had to be tough otherwise he wasn’t worth keeping around. Gin tried to help the boy, but as he watched, he became more and more used to the abuse that he got from Aizen. Most days, the boy went to bed with at least one new bruise. Any infraction was punished immediately, no matter what it was. It didn’t matter how small, Aizen would lash out violently. Ichigo eventually figured out all the rules, and by the time he was thirteen, he’d knew how to avoid Aizen’s anger. Most of the time. It seemed just as Ichigo learned the rules, Aizen would change them. Gin knew it was to keep Ichigo unbalanced, to make sure he couldn’t fight back even if he wanted to.

Aizen moved him into the room with him when Ichigo was fifteen. Gin had argued that he was too young, and that he shouldn’t take advantage of such a young boy. Aizen said he would train Ichigo in whatever way he pleased, including bedding him when he wanted. Gin had left the situation alone, noticing the next morning the change in the boy. His heart broke. He looked hollow, empty, and he refused to interact with anyone. It took almost two weeks before Ichigo started acting somewhat normal again. Even then, though, he carried that look of just being broken.

That time was where the grooves had been carved into the bed from handcuffs. Ichigo hadn’t wanted to give in to Aizen’s will, and he’d ended up spending his nights shackled to the bed. Aizen knew that he would take a chance of him running before he had finished “training” him. His wrists, and sometimes ankles, seemed to bear permanent red rings around them. He stopped wearing anything except long sleeves and pants by the time he’d turned eighteen. During this time, he also forced him to learn fighting skills.

By that point, Aizen was satisfied, and started teaching him how to run the syndicate. He also began the intense wooing of the boy to convince him that he loved him deeply. Gin watched it from the outside. He watched how Aizen would speak sweet words to him one minute, then turn around and backhand him the next over something insignificant. Ichigo eventually returned his affection, and Gin felt even more dead inside than he already had. He would sit and tell Gin how much he loved him, that he wanted to be his forever. He made excuses for everything he did.

Gin had thought the first incident last year when he let another have Ichigo for their own pleasure would break the illusion Ichigo had built to protect himself. It had been a greedy man named Aaroniero who was very good with gambling. Ichigo had resisted, though, the first time. Gin had to deal with the after effects. He’d come out of that first incident with a broken nose, three broken ribs, and a broken wrist. Szayel had kept him for almost a month in the infirmary, more to keep him away from Aizen than anything. Szayel, like Gin, saw what was happening for what it was, but they couldn’t very well stop it. Some of the others, like Tier, and surprisingly, Grimmjow, one of the newer recruits to the organization, would also speak against it. Of course, never in front of Aizen or Ichigo.

Ichigo, though, was stubborn, and he could not be convinced that what Aizen did was wrong. He would wave away any possible discussion that anything he’d done was wrong. He firmly believed in what Aizen had told him. He’d convinced him that his mother had been trying to sell him into slavery when he refused to allow it. He’d shot her, and took Ichigo away to save him. Gin’s stomach turned anytime it came up. That wasn’t anything near the truth. To break the illusion, though, took more than Gin was capable of doing. Aizen had told him his father was a deadbeat, and his mother had been a street whore who had sold his sisters into a slavery ring before they were five. He’d convinced him that he was next, and that’s why he stepped in. Aizen told him that she’d done it for drugs, that she had needed money for her addiction. Ichigo, at least now, didn’t doubt this at all. He had no reason not to.

Ichigo had ended up being far more intelligent and capable than anyone expected. Despite the horrible things that Aizen had done to him, he still was strong. He’d picked up fighting skills at an incredible rate, managing to get a second degree black belt in two different disciplines in four years. He had a lithe strong body, and he was an extremely agile fighter. Gin couldn’t take him down on the mat, and honestly, no one in the compound could.

Still, the bruises were there. Still, he wore long sleeves and pants. Still, there were moments when he would look away into the distance and look so broken and hurt. Then, it was gone. Gin would ask him if he was okay, and he’d look at him and smile.

“I’m fine, Gin, don’t worry about me,” he would say and walk away.

Gin knew he wasn’t. Gin would hear him sometimes, when he thought no one was around. He’d hear him crying quietly in the bath, or would catch him sniffling and quickly hiding it. Gin didn’t know what to do. He in some ways felt like he was responsible, but if he had done anything before now, things would have gone worse. The boy would have been killed immediately. By the point he was free to leave the compound, he stayed completely of his own volition. He sighed, petting the orange colored hair and felt a tear. He’d done this for her. And now, he wondered if it was worth it. He wouldn’t hurt this much if he’d just stayed with Rangiku. If he’d just listened to her. He sighed and slid down beside Ichigo, falling asleep.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

To say that Isshin Kurosaki was livid was an understatement. He stood in the conference room staring out over the city of Karakura Town. Kisuke Urahara was sitting at the table along with Renji Abarai and Rukia Kuchiki. The head captain was on his way to hear what had occurred. Isshin was impatient because they had been secretive about what this was about. They had just said it had to do with his son. The head captain came in a sat down.

“Report,” he said curtly.

Kisuke nodded. “First, I’ll play the security footage, I’ve cut out the parts where he was unconscious, just for the sake of brevity. The whole video is available, however, on the evidence server.”

Isshin turned and sat down next to the head captain as the video played. It began with Kisuke disappearing up the stairs. “I heard a knock at the upstairs door, the back, which was unusual,” Kisuke explained. A few moments later, Kisuke came back with two people in tow. Isshin’s eyes went wide. “As you can see, I was certain that he had to be Ichigo at this point, but I had no confirmation.”

They listened to the conversations and the seemingly random things he’d said. “At this point, I had given him a sedative while I conducted the exam and sutured him in a few places.” The video started again with Kisuke replacing the bed’s stirrups and Renji moving him up. Isshin’s eye twitched. Ichigo woke up and Isshin watched as the halfway incapacitated boy punched Renji hard enough to send him backward and managed to push himself backward off the bed to the floor. He was in obvious pain still. He took the offered gown and then when he heard his voice, he knew. That was his son.

“So, as you can see, we know where he is, but I do not understand Gin’s involvement…” Kisuke started.

Yamamoto looked at them. “Gin is undercover at my request. He has been under my purview since Aizen approached him over fifteen years ago.”

There was a shocked silence. The head captain continued. “He was told under no circumstances to break cover. He managed to find a way around that order, though, by going through you, Urahara. He knows you are only an assistant these days and no longer a captain. He had no knowledge that you still help train new agents.”

Isshin turned and stared at Yamamoto. “Did you know that Aizen was the one that murdered my wife and took my son?”

He shook his head. “Gin was already under. I had no idea until now.”

Isshin wanted to be angry. He wanted to rage at the head captain, but he just couldn’t. He instead fell into a chair and started to cry into his hands. His precious boy, his one and only son, was in Aizen’s hands, and now believed that he was there by choice. He felt Kisuke put his arm around him.

“We’ll get him back,” Kisuke said softly.

“But will it be him?” Isshin asked.

“There’s more,” Kisuke said, standing up and going back.

“More?” Isshin asked.

“Yeah,” Kisuke said, clicking forward on the screen. “He has a very long history of injury. Everything has been well taken care of, if I didn’t know what to look for, I wouldn’t have seen it. Several healed breaks were easy to feel through the skin. There’s also this,” he said, flipping to a picture of Ichigo’s right arm.

“What the hell is that?” Isshin asked, frowning.

“Self-inflicted bites. I wasn’t sure, but I swabbed one of them and found trace amounts of Ichigo’s saliva. Its good I have the best machinery in town, or I wouldn’t have found it, and by the looks, it is something he’s been doing a long time,” he said and pointed out the pattern. There was the same bite pattern over and over, at varying stages of healing, and some white scars. Some overlapped, and others were separate.”

Kisuke flipped over to the other shots he’d managed to get before Gin had turned his attention back to them. The first was a picture of his chest and shoulders. Isshin frowned and stared. His chest was littered with red marks all the way up to his collarbone, but none above it. His arms both had bad bruising around his biceps that went from dark purple ones to light brown ones. His belly button had a piercing in it, and there was a tattoo that surrounded it of some sort of sun shape. His nipples were both pierced as well. The next picture had been a semi blurry picture of his back, where they could easily see the bruising continued, as well as a plethora of other scars. He had a wide lower back tattoo of a strawberry vine. Kisuke looked over at them.

“I’m not showing the pictures of his privates here, but they’re in the file,” he muttered. “What is important is that he’s been severely abused, both physically, mentally most likely, and sexually for a long time. The scarring was…significant. I’m not sure what occurred but from what we gathered, he’d had a violent sexual encounter that he claimed had been consensual. By the damage, I doubt that very seriously. No consensual act has that much tearing.”

Isshin put his head in his hands and didn’t know what to do. How could he tell the girls that their brother was alive after all? 

“I will give a report to the officers in the morning. A meeting will be called for eight am. Urahara, you as well as Renji and Rukia are expected to be there,” he said standing up and nodding to them.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Ichigo shifted in the large chair again. The narcotics were wearing off already. He had never had this much pain before. He was seriously going to beat the fuck out of that bastard when he got the chance. He knew he’d be back. Llargo was the type that liked to feel powerful. He liked to make it known that it was him in control, not anyone else. Ichigo would be his only way to show dominance over his new boss. That infuriated Ichigo beyond everything else. Sosuke had given him a chance to share in something that Sosuke kept for himself. Sosuke had allowed him to do what he did. Ichigo’s stomach still twisted, though. He hadn’t felt this way since… He shook the thoughts away. No, Sosuke did what was necessary to show Ichigo how much he loved him. Nothing else.

It was no surprise then when the door banged open, the secretary yelling in the background at him. Momo was freaking out, of course, but then she usually did when something like this happened. Ichigo looked up from the computer. He had been dealing with a snag in the money laundering division. They’d fucked up some of the shell companies, so he had to fix them. It was annoying that he knew more about their job than they did. Granted, he could do any of the jobs in the Arrancar. He sighed, seeing Yammy Llargo standing in the door with that grin on his face.

“Mr. Llargo, can I help you?” Ichigo asked without looking up from the computer. He needed to finish this.

“Yeah, came to show you that you can’t ‘deal’ with me. And to get my second go round, without your boss to stop me from doing what I want,” he said as he started to approach the desk.

“Give me one minute, Mr. Llargo. Sosuke will be cross if this shell company is not set up correctly,” he said. He saw the odd look the large man gave him. “I do have a job here, and it isn’t fucking around with you assholes,” he muttered.

Ichigo finished quickly and then looked up at Yammy. “Look, I don’t want to do this with you. Honestly, Sosuke doesn’t want you injured because you can’t do your job if I break something.”

Yammy looked at him and started to laugh. “You? You do something to me? You are nothing but a twink faggot. You won’t even last a minute against me if you plan to fight for it.”

Ichigo rubbed his forehead. “I really have too much to do today to deal with your macho bullshit idea that you have to prove you are the strongest member of the apes you lead. I mean, I understand the need to show dominance, really I do, but you are definitely not going to succeed here. What happened yesterday, that was me allowing it to happen.” Ichigo stood slowly, shrugging out of his dark jacket. “I have literally spent over half my life being trained for this, just to warn you. I am Sosuke’s second for a reason.”

“You are nothing but Aizen’s little slut boy that believes he has control when it’s really those other two jackasses that keep things together while he’s gone,” he growled out, advancing.

Ichigo sighed, and came around the desk, leaning back on it and crossing his arms. “So, fine, you aren’t the first, you aren’t the last.”

Ichigo supposed he could let him have more rope to hang himself with, but where was the fun in that? This guy was a brute and didn’t deserve what Sosuke had given him, after all, didn’t he realize that Sosuke was letting him have Ichigo? Sosuke was letting him use something that belonged to him. The audacity of this man to attempt to take more than was given. He also felt somewhat angry that Sosuke had let someone completely mess him up like that, and then left him. He understood why, and he knew that these businessmen he was meeting, these Quincy, were important to make an alliance with.

“Oh, really?” Yammy growled, and as expected, he lunged forward.

Ichigo rolled his eyes, sighing deeply. He was slow, sloppy, and gross, he thought to himself. He sidestepped easily, maneuvering around him quickly. He already knew seven different ways to drop this idiot. Okay, eight, maybe nine, he thought as he sidestepped and ducked an expected combination. This was almost too easy. It was obvious he had no real training; he just used his sheer size to beat someone into submission. Ichigo rolled his eyes a bit because this was going to leave a mark. Oh well, it would be have more impact if he did this than if he just took him down. Ichigo slipped underneath Yammy’s guard and received an expected hard punch that sent his head to ringing. This stupid man had no idea that Sosuke hit harder than that. He smirked, sliding a foot under and using pure leverage and very little effort, to flip the large man onto the floor. He flipped over him, landing and twisting his arm into a tight hold. He knew that there was no way he could get out of it without breaking his arm.

The door opened and Ichigo looked up to see Gin standing there. Obviously, Momo called him. He shook his head. “Ichigo…” he sighed.

“What?” Ichigo asked as he held the struggling man against the floor. “This fucking bastard,” he said and punctuated the word with a kick to his face. “He thought that he was going to take what he wanted,” he growled and kicked him again. Blood sprayed this time. “And he had to learn not to fuck with me.” Ichigo landed a final kick and let go, stepping over him like he was nothing.

Gin shook his head. If nothing else, Ichigo was more than capable of defending himself, which was why it was so frustrating that he refused to leave Aizen. However, maybe he just needed to try harder. Maybe he needed to give him a reason to leave him. He wondered if he could find proof that Aizen had murdered his mother out of spite and not because she was a drug addicted street walker as Ichigo believed. He sighed, running a hand over his pale hair as Ichigo sat back down behind the desk. He walked over and pulled Yammy up. He was complaining that his jaw was broken. Gin didn’t doubt it. When Ichigo put his mind to it, he could break about anyone’s bones. He got him to Szayel who too one look at him and smiled.

“I see you couldn’t leave well enough alone, Mr. Llargo. You were warned not to try anything with Ichigo. Now, you see why,” Szayel said as he escorted the large man to a bed.

Gin sighed and walked out of the room, putting a hand to his head for a long moment. He leaned back against the wall to think. He didn’t have a lot of options. What was he going to do? He was so… He down on his lip. He was slowly dying inside watching this. He wanted to take Ichigo away, he wanted to show him that love didn’t hurt… He caught himself, eyes going wide. Wait, love? He felt the flush come over him. No, that couldn’t be it. He couldn’t feel like that. He was a kid. He was twenty-two years old, Gin was far too old at nearly thirty-four himself. He’d been very young himself when Aizen recruited him, so he knew what it was like to leave everything to do the greater good.

He was surprised out of his thoughts when someone put a hand on his shoulder. He flinched, looking over into the Cerulean eyes of Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, the head of the weapons and arms trafficking.

“Gin, what’s up? You got that look,” he commented.

Gin shook his head and sighed deeply. “Ichigo, always Ichigo. After yesterday, I just…I don’t see him able to survive what Aizen asks him to do. He nearly bled out, Grimm. It took a bag of blood, and he probably could have used more. I mean, he did put the fucking bastard in his place today, but…why can’t he see Aizen doesn’t care about him at all? Why does he love him so much?” he asked, sighing.

Grimmjow shook his head. “Damn, you are so fucking stupid,” he said and shook his head. “You have been in love with that goddamned brat forever from what I hear, and you need to tell him that before it’s too late.”

“What? What do you mean?” Gin asked, turning to Grimmjow.

“Man, you are such an idiot. Everyone around here knows it. Who does he go to when he gets hurt? Who does he trust with everything? And who do you fret about endlessly? And who is it that makes you go running around like a crazed maniac when you can’t find him?” Grimmjow said and patted him on the shoulder. “No one around here has any doubt.”

Gin looked at him and didn’t know how to react. How was he supposed to react to that? He had to admit to himself the truth. He had to do something, but how? How was he going to break the intricate webs of illusion that Aizen had woven around Ichigo?


	3. By His Desperation

 

It was another two weeks before Gin has another reason to want to remove Ichigo from the compound. It wasn’t a major thing. Aizen had come back from his trip, and Yammy had immediately gone and complained to him about Ichigo breaking his jaw. Aizen had smiled and simply told him that he had been warned to leave Ichigo alone. However, the thing that Gin hated about that situation is that after Yammy left, Aizen had grabbed Ichigo and pulled him over to him. He then told him that he needed to learn restraint, and that there were consequences to his actions. Ichigo had briefly looked a bit frightened by Aizen’s comment.

Gin didn’t see Ichigo for another week. He had no idea what had happened, but he wasn’t in their rooms, and he wasn’t in the compound. He worried, but he feared asking Aizen where Ichigo was would be a mistake. However, he couldn’t stand not knowing. He went to him that morning to find out.

“Um, sir, if I might ask, there have been some questions about Ichigo…” he said, bowing to him and looking up.

Aizen glanced at him. “Oh, yes, I forgot about him,” he said, sighing. “I do hope he is well enough, I should have retrieved him a couple days ago…” he said and looked at Gin thoughtfully. “Would you mind retrieving him?”

Gin nodded. “Of course, sir. Where is he?”

“I sent him to Barragan’s whore house,” he said as he flipped through a book of documents. “I told him he needed to learn to be a better receptacle and stop lashing out so violently. Having Yammy out of commission for six weeks was not in our best interest.”

Gin’s heart sunk. He hadn’t even been healed much from the violent way that Yammy had taken him. “Um, sir, I don’t want to tell you your business, and Ichigo did not want me to tell you this…” he began.

Aizen’s head shot up and he glared at Gin. “Tell me what?”

“He…he had to have sutures and a bag of blood that afternoon, sir. He wanted to handle things himself, so he didn’t want you to know,” Gin said as he hoped desperately that Aizen wouldn’t take out this on Ichigo.

Aizen stared at him for a long moment before he laid his pen down. “He did, did he?” he asked softly.

“Yes, it was severe enough that he was nearly unconscious before we got him help,” Gin said. He was hoping that Aizen would take it seriously.

He punched the intercom. “Momo, inform Mr. Llargo that he owes me a sum of two thousand for injury compensation. It will be removed from his first payment.”

“Yes, sir,” she said over the com.

“There, taken care of. Still, does not make Ichigo’s actions any more appropriate. Ensure that Barragan has taken care of any injuries he sustained there,” he said, flipping through the ledger without much thought.

Gin nodded, excusing himself. He practically ran to the garage and hoped that Ichigo hadn’t been to horribly hurt in a week there. He bit his lip hard as he headed toward the brothel. It was technically a “love motel” but everyone knew what it really was. He pulled in, and headed in to the place. It was almost two in the afternoon, so the place shouldn’t be very busy.  He walked in through the glass doors and saw that Findorr Caius was working the desk today. He walked up to the blonde and nodded a greeting.

“Aizen sent me to retrieve Ichigo,” he said and wanted to say more, but he didn’t.

“Oh, that’s unfortunate,” Findorr said with a pout. “He’s been quite popular. He’s in the display room at the moment. You can go get him,” he said and gestured toward the arched doorway.

Gin swallowed and headed through it. He glanced around and didn’t see Ichigo right away. Then he spotted the bright orange tuft of hair at the end of one of the sofas. Most of the workers were resting and chatting, of course, most of them were already dressed for their shifts. He nodded to Loly and Menoly who were making out like teenagers on the couch. Luppi, one of the few male escorts Barragan employed was sitting cross legged on the floor playing cards with one of the girls, a dark skinned girl with long black hair named Mila-Rose. The sofa Ichigo was sitting beside had several of the other girls in various stages of repose. He recognized some, but not others.

He came around the end of the sofa and his heart seemed to ache. “Ichigo, hey, time to go home,” he said and tried to keep the choked sound out of his voice.

Ichigo looked up and smiled at him. “I can come home? Good, I don’t like it here…” he said, pushing himself to stand up on the side of the sofa.

Gin swallowed hard. He was dressed appropriately for this, obviously he had been given things from some of the others. He was wearing a tight black shirt that his piercings could be easily seen through, and a pair of shorts that maybe had a zipper two inches long. They cut around his back low on his hips, and the shirt rode high, leaving a good part of his stomach and back exposed. The shorts maybe had an inch of length down his legs. He had a few earrings in, which he hadn’t had before. His hair was a ruffled mess and he had deep red ridges in his wrists and ankles. He had even more bruises than he was used to seeing from Aizen. He reached down and pulled of the red and black heels he was wearing.

“Hate these fucking things,” he muttered and handed them to someone on the sofa. “Thanks, I’ll send the clothes back to you,” he said to the guy, a long haired boy about Ichigo’s size. He had blonde hair and an eyepatch.

“Don’t worry, keep it. Never know, might be back,” he said, smirking at him.

“Good fucking god I hope not,” he muttered and headed out of the room barefoot.

Findorr looked up as they walked past the desk. “Bye, Ichi. You did a good job, and I’ll make sure to tell Aizen, okay?”

“Whatever,” he muttered and ducked his head as they headed out toward Gin’s car. “I just fucking want out of this outfit.”

Gin got in and started it but paused. He turned to him. “Ichigo, this isn’t right,” he said quietly. Ichigo looked up at him with a confused look. He snatched a wet wipe out of the can Gin kept in the console and started wiping the makeup off his face.

“What isn’t right? I shouldn’t have broken the bastard’s jaw. That was fucking stupid on my part,” he muttered, sighing deeply. The removal of the makeup made Gin’s stomach twist even more. His face looked terrible, littered with bruises. His neck, as well, was covered in bites and red suck marks as he removed the thick makeup from it.

“Ichigo, he forgot you were here, I had to go ask where you were and he acted like it had slipped his mind,” he said with a hope that Ichigo would listen.

Ichigo’s hands paused and he looked like he might listen. Then he shook his head. “He’s got a lot on his mind. He can’t be expected to remember everything.”

“Ichigo, if he loves you…” Gin began.

Ichigo turned and scowled at him. “Don’t fucking say that. He does love me. There’s no doubt in my mind. Now take me home, I want to see Sōsuke.”

Gin nodded and pulled out, heading back in silence the rest of the way. Ichigo headed up to their room immediately, and Gin knew he wanted to get out of the clothes he was in. Gin waited outside, even though he wasn’t technically needed. He was going to bring Ichigo to Aizen and then he wanted to see what happened. He wanted to see how he treated Ichigo and if he had any remorse for tossing him into a brothel for a week. Ichigo emerged, and Gin saw that he had applied some concealer to the worst of the bruising on his face and neck. He’d put on one of his suits, and was straightening the tie as he came out.

“Fuck, that feels so much better. I don’t know how those fucking whores do it. That was the most uncomfortable shit I’ve ever worn in my life,” he said and shook his head.

Gin nodded, unable to comment without saying something he’d regret. He led him to Aizen’s office and he could tell Ichigo was excited to see him. They got to the office and Momo nodded at the to let them know they could go in. Ichigo opened the door and waited patiently for Aizen to put down the phone and acknowledge him. Finally, he put down the phone and looked up.

“Well, you look no worse for the wear after some time on your back, tell me, how many johns did you service?” he asked and tilted his head to the side.

Gin saw Ichigo’s back straighten and the subtle shake to his hands as he tucked them behind him. “Um, I’m not sure, I…I think about twenty-four,” he said, looking at the ground.

“Hmm, that’s a rather low number,” Aizen said, sighing. “I’ll check with Barragan, but I expect you to double that when I send you back next time.”

Ichigo looked up with wide eyes. “Send me back?” he asked.

“Yeah, seems that you were popular. So this will become a monthly thing, first week of every month, you’re to report to Barragan. And your numbers better be higher next time, or I’ll make you stay for two weeks out of the month,” he said, flipping through the ledger. “Perhaps next month, we should give you a little more bondage presence, let them know they are able to be rougher with you than some of those other delicate sluts,” he said, looking up.

Gin glanced over and he thought that if Ichigo hadn’t such control of his emotions he would start crying right then. “But…but…Sōsuke, I don’t like other people touching me. You said…you said I was yours, and…”

Ichigo didn’t finish the sentence because Aizen came around the desk and backhanded him hard enough to send him to the floor. “You will do as you are fucking told, understand me? And if I want to whore you out every day, I will do so and you will comply. I’m being generous and letting you only go one week a month. Do you want me to make it more?”

Ichigo looked up, blood flowing over his chin. “N-no sir, I don’t, I’ll make you proud, I do the best I can,” he said, and Gin was sure that he was going to cry now. Somehow, he managed to not let his tears fall.

Aizen smiled then, a soft thing, spreading over his face. He knelt down and ran a soft hand over his face. He thumbed the blood off his chin. “That’s my boy,” he said, and leaned forward to kiss his forehead. “Now, head back to our room and wash up. We have company for dinner tonight. Get yourself ready, and make sure to cover up your marks better than this. We can’t have them seeing that on my second in command.”

Ichigo nodded and let Aizen help him stand up. Aizen turned to Gin. “Please, Gin, would you mind helping him get ready? The Quincy representative will be here soon. And I am unsure if Ichigo will need to be ready for any requests of him.”

Aizen turned and headed back into the room and sat down. Gin took Ichigo’s hand and led him quietly to the bedroom. Ichigo stood there for a long moment before he turned eyes on Gin that were welling with tears.

“Ichigo?” Gin asked. “What is it?”

“He…he…he wants me to go back…I can’t…I don’t want to, Gin!” he said as tears began to fall down his cheeks.

“Oh, Ichigo,” Gin said and pulled him into a tight hug. “Don’t go then, I can get you out of here, I can…I can help you…”

“I can’t leave, Gin. I love him, he’s everything to me, I can’t leave, I just can’t,” he gasped as he buried his head in Gin’s shoulder and sobbed. “But why is he doing this?” he said as he squeezed Gin around his ribs. “Why does he want to do this? I don’t want to have anyone touch me besides him, Gin, why does he want me to do this?”

“Ichigo, Sōsuke isn’t a good man,” he said quietly. “He never has been,” he said and clutched Ichigo close to him. “I don’t want to see you like this, Ichigo. Please, let me help you…” he whispered.

Ichigo shook his head and stood back. “No, don’t ask me that. I can’t. I won’t. I’ll do whatever he wants to make him happy, that’s what I’m supposed to do. I just…I just didn’t expect it. I can deal with it,” he said and headed toward the bathroom. “Can you…can you get out the blue suit and the red and black tie, please? I’m going to clean up,” he said and disappeared through the door.

Gin sat down on the bed and wanted to cry himself. How was he going to convince him that Sōsuke Aizen was not a good man? How was he going to convince him that Aizen didn’t care about him at all, let alone love him?

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Tōsen sighed as he moved through the dirty apartment complex. It was what someone would call a slum, but the revenue was good. They were looking for an idiot that didn’t pay his bills on time, and Tōsen had brought a team to find out why. If he was dead, he supposed that was an excuse. However, if he was alive, he might not be for long. They headed down the hall when barking caught Tōsen’s ear. He was blind, but he could hear very well. Dogs, he thought to himself. He moved toward the noise, his men following. He pushed open a door carefully and the smell of dogs and filth carried to his nose.

“Is anyone here?” he called.

He heard scuffling in the room. He motioned one of his men forward and he went in. Dordoni Alessandro Del Socaccio and Gantenbainne Mosqueda had accompanied him. The dark haired Dordoni headed in and called back.

“Yo, boss, this is fucked up,” he said.

Tōsen followed his voice with Gantenbainne behind him. “Tell me what you see.”

“Um, there’s all this junk on the walls, like occult shit, and these weird fucking drawings of this thing with a bunch of tentacles hanging off its green face,” he said.

“Cthulhu,” Tōsen commented, listening in the room. “It’s a creation of H.P. Lovecraft. A fictional god of some sort,” he said.

“There’s a kid in here,” he heard Gantenbainne say from nearby.

“A kid?” Tōsen asked and went to where he was standing. “Tell me.”

“Um, he’s dirty, and he’s asleep with a shit load of dogs,” he muttered. “Like there have to be ten or more mangy ass stray mutts in here.

“Who are you? Get out!” came a female voice from behind Tōsen. He turned, fixing blind eyes on the woman.

“I am a representative of your landlord,” he said evenly. “I’m afraid that you are violating several parts of the agreement to stay in this apartment.”

The woman, a dirty and harried looking woman with thick blond hair that had dreaded naturally, simply from lack of washing, stared at the three people. “Go away!”

“I’m afraid I can’t. You obviously cannot take care of that child. I will take him with me, and then we’ll forget the other violations,” Tōsen said, sighing deeply.

“You can’t take him!” she growled.

“I can do whatever I like,” he said simply, and noticed that she was moving toward him. He pulled the handgun from the holster under his jacket and shot one. There was a thump and he heard Dordoni snort.

“Man, I’ve never seen a blind man shoot like you,” he said as barking ensued from the other room.

“It is simple, once you know how to listen to the world around you,” he said, turning his back on the body and waiting. “Please bring the child. He deserves more than this drug addicted woman could offer him.”

After a few minutes, Gantenbainne had wrestled the struggling boy out of the room with the dogs. He ended up having to knock him out, though because he wouldn’t stop fighting him. They headed back to the compound, and Tōsen took the boy to Szayel to have him check out.

“What the hell?” Szayel said, and shook his head. “Where did you get this kid?”

“His mother was insufficient to care for him. Assess him for wounds,” Tōsen said simply.

Szayel went over him while he was unconscious. He gave him a bag of fluids and electrolytes. He looked at Tōsen. “He’s malnourished and dehydrated. He’s got lice, and quite frankly, he’s filthy. I’ll need to keep him in here a few days at the very least.”

The boy’s eyes opened and he screeched. He scrambled off the table and ripped all the IV lines out. He ran for the door but Tōsen stepped in front of him. “Stop,” he commanded and the boy slid to a stop in front of him and looked up with wild, violet eyes. “You are safe. You will stay here and be cared for. Can you speak?”

The boy glanced around him and started making sounds that were somewhat like human speech, but also like the barking of a dog. Szayel spoke up. “I think he’s feral,” he said thoughtfully. “He may not have learned to speak.”

“Do what you can. I will return later,” Tōsen said and left to speak with Aizen.

Szayel managed to get the boy into the bed and restrain him so he could at least get the IVs into him again. He gave him a healthy sedative so he could at least sleep.

Tōsen knocked on the door to the office. “Enter,” came Aizen’s voice.

“Ah, Kaname, how are you?” he asked, looking up at the blind man.

“I have returned from the apartments with a boy. He appears to be feral by Szayel’s guess. I would like to take his care onto myself,” he said evenly.

“That won’t be necessary, Tōsen. If he is feral, he is of no use. Dispose of him,” he said, flipping through the ledgers.

“Sir, he is an innocent in this world, I do not believe…” Tōsen started.

“That wasn’t a debate, Kaname. Dispose of the boy, or I will dispose of both of you,” he said, not bothering to look up.

Tōsen nodded, bowing slightly and leaving the office. This was not right. The child had a right to live despite his mother being the way she was. The child was innocent. He had gone with Aizen because he believed the things he said. He believed the world was corrupt, and it was only by being on the side of the corrupt, could changes be made. He looked up, hearing someone coming.

“Tōsen,” he heard Gin say.

“Gin. I am unsure of matters right now. I brought a child to the compound, an innocent. And I’m instructed to dispose of him. This is not correct,” he said thoughtfully.

“And what Aizen has done to the Kurosaki boy is?” he asked, honestly in shock that Tōsen would say such a thing.

Tōsen shook his head. “That was different, that child was not an innocent…”

“How was a nine-year-old not an innocent, Tōsen?” Gin hissed. “How is this boy you found any different? Except Aizen merely wants you to murder him. At least if you slit his throat, his suffering will end. What he’s done to Ichigo is far worse.”

“What do you mean by that?” Tōsen asked. To be honest, Tōsen did not often deal with the boy. He considered him one of the men, now, and he hadn’t been around much when he arrived.

“What do I mean? I know you are blind, Tōsen, but honestly, you should hear very well,” Gin growled out as he grabbed Tōsen by the arm and pulled him into a side room where they couldn’t be overheard. “You don’t know what he did?” he asked, seriously now.

“Gin, I have no idea what you mean. He kidnapped the boy after he murdered his mother. He raised him here, and now they are partners. What more is there to know?” Tōsen asked.

Gin swallowed hard and couldn’t keep the waver out of his voice now. “Tōsen, he beat that child. He beat him every day until he was fifteen. Then, when he was fifteen, he took him, shackled him to his bed, and raped him until finally, he convinced him that he loved him. He just sent him to Barragan’s for a fucking week, and now he’s expecting him to go back every month to be whored out. And he’s going to do it. He could walk out of this place, but he is convinced that Aizen gives a shit about him, when he has no thought of his well-being.”

Tōsen stood frozen for a long moment. “You know these things?”

“I have been with that child since the day he arrived, Tōsen! Ask Aizen. He has no problem telling you what he’s done,” Gin practically growled at him. “Talk to Grimmjow, or Harribel, they will tell you everything they’ve seen. And tonight, he’s going to meet with those Quincies and he’s already told Ichigo that his ‘services’ might be needed.” Gin swallowed. “He broke Yammy’s jaw because the fucking bastard tore him up so bad that he needed blood. And all Aizen did was charge him two thousand for ‘damages’.”

Tōsen was quiet for a long moment. “Gin, do you still have reliable contacts with them?” he asked slowly.

“Yes,” Gin answered suspiciously.

“Can you…can you get the boy to them?” he said quietly. “I cannot kill an innocent, and I cannot stand by. If I leave, though, there would be repercussions.”

Gin nodded. “I will, are you sure?”

“Ask for Komamura. Tell him to take the boy until I can get this settled with Aizen,” he said, turning and leaving. “He is with Szayel,” he added before he left the room.

Gin nodded and headed to Szayel’s office to take care of this quickly. He wanted to make sure that nothing appeared amiss to Aizen. He hoped Kisuke wouldn’t be bothered by another visit, and this time, being left with a charge.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Ichigo followed Sōsuke into the dining area where several men he was unfamiliar with sat around awaiting them. In the area off to the side, three of the workers from Barragan’s brothel sat around on sofas. It was Ggio Vega, another of the male escorts, Menoly, and Loly, he saw. The two girls were touching each other and occasionally kissing when someone looked over. Ggio sat alone, one leg thrown over the arm of the sofa and watching the men at the table. None of them were wearing much in the way of clothes. He saw that Zommari had brought a selection of drugs to the meeting, and he knew that things might not go well with these people.

Aizen stood at the head of the table. “Welcome, as you all know, I am Sōsuke Aizen. I understand that this meeting will be to show, in good faith, the arrangements that the Arrancar can offer to the dwindling numbers of the Quincy organization. This is my second, my boy Ichigo, and by the door is our arms expert Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. Now, please, if you will sit, we can have a nice meal before the arranged…entertainment,” he said, smirking at the group.

Ichigo sat down beside Aizen and watched the people. On the opposite side of the table from his sat a dark haired younger man with silver framed glasses. He kept glancing at Ichigo but it wasn’t the way the one on the other side of him was leering at him. This man was watching every move he made. He was a man with short darker hair and a scar on one side of his mouth. There was a young woman sitting at the opposite end of the table, and she seemed nice enough, from the look, anyway. Next to him, there was a blond man with wavy hair.

Ichigo jumped when the man beside him put an arm around his shoulders. He glanced at him. “Hey, so what do you think of us?”

“I think you will make good additions to the Arrancar,” he said and tried to look away from him.

“Hmm, I’m Jugram Haschwalth, by the way,” he said, and Ichigo felt that Aizen was watching him carefully. He knew he was judging if he could handle this again.

Ichigo swallowed, looking up across the table. He locked eyes with the dark haired man with glasses. “Um, nice to meet you,” he said and grabbed his water and sipped it.

“These are my friends; do you know any of them?” he asked; Ichigo shook his head slightly. “Well, that’s Uryū Ishida, and next to him is Cang Du, and the freak anime fan down at the end is Meninas McAllon,” he said smirking as Meninas glared at him.

Ichigo nodded and tried to look like he was fine, but honestly, he was anything but fine right now. He glanced over to Aizen who had that smile on his face again. He stood up. “Well, dear friends, the room is yours, as you can see we have quite a selection of party favors for you to partake in. If you need anything, see Grimmjow here. Ichigo stood to follow Aizen. Aizen turned back and looked at him.

“Where do you think you’re going? I sent you to Barragan’s for a reason, Ichigo. You have a job to do. Do it well, or you’ll regret it,” he said and left quickly. Ichigo stood watching for a moment. He took a shaky breath as he felt Jugram put his hands on Ichigo’s hips.

“I hear, through the grapevine, that you are quite the fuck,” he muttered under his breath as he began to pull his shirt out of his pants.

“No, but…but…I don’t want to…I don’t…” he said, and Uryū, who was still sitting there watching, gave him a curious look. Cang had already gone and sat down between the two women on the sofa, and Meninas was talking to the short black haired boy.

“Jugram, I don’t think he’s interested in your attention,” Uryū said, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“Nonsense, he’s a whore just like those other ones, just with higher standing,” he said as he slid his hands around Ichigo’s stomach and unbuttoned his pants so he could slide a hand down them.

“I don’t…but…” Ichigo stammered, and stepped back, pushing the man’s hands off him. “No, I’m…please, I don’t…”

“You little fucking faggot whore,” he growled at him. He reached out and snatched him by the back of the head and pulled him toward him. “You are going to do what your boss said you were going to do. I was promised that you would be a well-trained fuck toy, not a resistant bitch.”

Uryū frowned because he’d seen the ones that put on a show. He’d seen that many times, because there were many among them with voracious appetites for many things. After their leader, Yahweh had left on some fool “vison quest” they had been trying to pull things together. He’d ended up dying, leaving them a group with many vying for power. Uryū’s father, Ryūken Ishida, had suggested joining with a larger organization to return structure to their numbers.

“Jugram, I think he seriously doesn’t want you to…” he started.

“Uryū, shut the fuck up,” Jugram said and drug Ichigo by the hair over to the sofas. He tossed him down into the corner of one, undoing his own tie as he grinned at him.

Ichigo didn’t know why he felt this way. He didn’t want this, he just wanted to be with Sōsuke after spending a week being fucked by people he couldn’t remember. He just wanted to feel Sōsuke against him, not someone else. He gasped as this man ripped his dress shirt open, buttons flying off in every direction.

“Look, the little whore has accessories,” Jugram said as he reached down and yanked hard on one of the nipple piercings. Ichigo gasped harshly. He could push him off. He could get up and get out of here, but then what? Sōsuke would send him to Barragan’s again, or worse, he’d lock him in their room like he used to. He had no choice, if he didn’t do what they wanted, they’d tell Sōsuke, and then…

His thoughts ground to a halt as the man over him pushed his head back and started sucking hard marks on his throat. He couldn’t stop himself from pushing him away, but the problem with that was that he went to the floor. Ichigo gasped and knew he was in trouble now. The blonde got up and wiped blood from his lip.

“Please, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that…” he gasped out.

Jugram slammed a hard punch across Ichigo’s face and then yanked the tie off his neck. “Okay, you little fucking slut, you want to play that way?” he asked under his breath. He grabbed his arm and wrenched it behind his back and the pulled the other one behind him with it. A few minutes and his hands were bound so tight that Ichigo felt like they were losing feeling already. He kept begging him to stop, that he didn’t mean to do that, but it didn’t matter. He pulled him up to his feet by his hair. “Now aren’t you pretty?” he muttered in Ichigo’s ear. Ichigo couldn’t help the tears that started sliding down his face.

Uryū stood up this time and grabbed Jugram by the arm, pulling him away from the tied boy. Jugram threw him forward, sending Ichigo tumbling to the floor. “Jugram, this isn’t right. You can’t just do this, that’s not the way we act!” he said his heart beating in his ears. It was bad enough that Cang was already fucking one of the girls, the blonde one, over the arm of the couch while she kissed the one with dark pigtails.

Jugram looked at him. “Don’t like it? Don’t stay.”

Uryū tried to say something else, but Jugram moved over, grabbing Ichigo by his hands and slammed him into the wall. Uryū shook his head and looked away. He couldn’t watch this. He didn’t come here for this. He was here to put their group back together, not watch someone he used to see as a brother rape someone. He walked toward the door where the blue haired man stood stoically watching nothing.

“Not your scene, kid?” he asked.

“It’s not right,” he whispered hoarsely. He glanced over to see that Meninas had gone over to the drugs with the male escort and was talking to him about them. He saw that Jugram had moved Ichigo to one of the sofas and he couldn’t see what he was doing, thankfully.

“Yeah, well, this is what you get with this life, kid. Get used to it,” Grimmjow said, sighing deeply. “This is his way of gaining control, you know, Aizen.”

Uryū looked at him curiously. “What do you mean?”

Grimmjow shrugged. “He lets you take something of his. His second, his own personal fuck toy, is given over. It is a special thing, because Ichigo is just as capable of running this whole thing as Aizen is. He’s second in command, not just a whore like the others. There’s power in dominance over someone with power. And now, Aizen has given you something that others might pay for the privilege of having. No matter what, he’s got you all by the nuts, now. Once you get in like this? The whores, the drugs, and his second, that’s all he needs to hold it over you.”

Uryū looked back in horror at the scene unfolding. Cang had pulled the orange haired boy onto his lap now and Jugram was doing something in front of him. There was the acrid smell of pipes being lit and he looked over to see the young male escort partaking of a pipe with Meninas before Jugram came over and grabbed him by the arm, leading him over to where he and Cang were sitting. Ggio grinned and stripped his clothes off before he climbed onto Cang’s lap and was telling him something before he started moving. The two women were fondling each other and Meninas had joined them, sliding in between them.

“What do I do?” Uryū whispered.

“What do you think you should do?” Grimmjow asked. “If you don’t like it, kid, do something. That’s all I can tell you.”

Uryū looked back and nodded to the large, blue haired man. He left quietly, heading to his car in the dark. He had to talk to his father. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t go down this road. No matter how much the Quincy line meant to him, he couldn’t, he wouldn’t, follow them into something this horrible. He just wouldn’t do it.

Morning found a scene that even Gin couldn’t imagine. Ichigo had woken up before the others, or at least, he’d thought so. He hurt everywhere, and he was sure that his arm at least had been broken from the horrible way he’d been tied. He knew several of his fingers were broken, and he was relatively sure he might have gotten a concussion. He managed to push himself to sitting and wrapped the remains of his dress shirt around himself. His stomach wouldn’t stop roiling. He glanced over to see that Loly and Menoly had fallen asleep intertwined, and he reached over to shake them awake. Loly looked up sleepily.

“Oh, Ichi baby, how are you? That fucking blonde bastard was rough,” she muttered as she sat up. “Yo, Ggio, wake up babe, got a long day left,” she said, reaching between them and shaking Ggio.

She stopped and looked at him then screamed. “He’s dead!” she cried out and pushed away from him. Ichigo moved and crawled over, pulling Ggio onto his back. His eyes were fixed and staring up. There was blood and something else smeared down his face, and he was ice cold.

“He is,” Ichigo said and looked up to see Gin come into the room.  “Gin, help, he’s…he’s dead!” he said and clutched the shirt tighter around him as though it would offer some protection from the awfulness in front of him.

Gin ran over to Ggio to check for a pulse. He reached up and closed his eyes gently. He looked at Ichigo. “I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do.”

Ichigo stared vacantly at Gin before he burst into tears suddenly. Gin moved and pulled him into a tight hug and let him cry against him.

That was it. This ended now, he thought. He couldn’t stand this anymore. He was going to get Ichigo out of this hell whether he wanted to leave or not.


	4. By His Persistence

 

Gin hadn’t been able to get Tōsen’s boy of the compound out right away, but he was safe as long as Szayel had him. He’d managed to arrange things with Szayel though. It took some doing, but eventually they got the boy’s name out of him. One of the only words he could say was “Wonderweiss”. Tōsen wasn’t surprised as he stood in the room with him. He was upset and Tōsen imagined that he had become used to the canines he had been surrounded with. Tōsen looked up when the door opened loudly behind him. Even though he couldn’t see, he still turned toward sounds. It was an odd thing, considering he had been blind since birth.

“Szayel!” he heard Gin yell out. It startled the blonde boy crouching in the corner into squealing and it almost sounded like he barked.

“Gin, what the…fuck…” Szayel said nearby. “Over here, on the bed,” he commented.

Gin had managed to calm Ichigo enough to pick him up and run him to Szayel’s office. He had been nonsensical completely, and Gin knew exactly what he was going to do. Szayel would help him. He could never come back once he did this, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t do it. He’d already dropped the files he would need into a mailbox yesterday morning. They should arrive at the Head Captain’s office by the today if he was lucky.

He put him down, and realized that he was really out of it now. “The fuck happened?” Szayel said and began the process of checking Ichigo over. “His arm’s broken,” he muttered as he ran his hands down the swollen and purple limb. “Not compound, luckily, but a spiral break.”

He moved down to his fingers, wincing as he went over them. “Jesus fuck, who the fuck did this?” he growled. “At least three of his fingers are broken, one might be shattered. Gin, grab a sheet, please,” he said.

Szayel pulled a sheet over his lower body and peeled the remaining shirt back away from his ribcage. “Goddammit,” he muttered under his breath. He moved his hands down his ribs and Ichigo’s eyes opened in surprise.

“Ah, stop!” he gasped out and tried to get ahold of Szayel’s hands with his unbroken arm.

“Ichigo,” Gin said softly. “Stop.” Gin pulled his hands away. “We’re at Szayel’s. Let me see how bad it is.”

“Hurts,” he breathed out, turning to look at Gin with damp eyes. “Ggio…he didn’t…he didn’t deserve to die, Gin. Why…”

“What?” Tōsen said from the other side of the room.

“One of the escorts Aizen had for the ‘meeting’ last night, looks like he overdosed or something, I don’t know,” Gin said, sighing as Ichigo struggled to stay still.

Ichigo squeezed his eyes shut. “He didn’t take it himself,” he nearly sobbed. “They…they gave it to him, and…and…”

Tōsen was silent as Szayel continued. Gin looked up across at Szayel and then back to Ichigo. “Szayel,” he whispered.

Szayel looked up from checking Ichigo’s ribs and locked his golden eyes on Gin’s vivid blue ones. “Now, I need to go, now,” Gin said softly.

The pink haired man nodded, understanding what Gin meant. Tōsen watched curiously as Szayel turned and left toward the drug cabinet. He unlocked it quickly and grabbed a vial and a syringe. He came back and smiled at Ichigo.

“Hey, I’m going to give you something to help with the swelling, okay?” he said, lifting Ichigo’s arm.

Ichigo looked at him and nodded. It wasn’t the first time he’d done that. He didn’t expect the sudden and overwhelming dizziness that overcame him suddenly. He frowned and reached out to Gin.

“Wh-what…what did you…what did you give…” he panted, and it killed Gin that he looked frightened, that he was actually scared. He stammered a few more unintelligible things before he weakly grabbed Gin’s hand.

“Relax, Ichigo, everything’s going to be fine,” he said quietly as he faded into unconsciousness.

“You’ve got about two hours, maybe. Depends how fast he processes the sedative. I’ll put a temporary cast on his arm and splint his fingers. We can wrap his ribs, he’s got probably three fractured, maybe more. Get him x-rayed as soon as possible to find out how bad. Be careful moving him, just in case the rib fractures are more severe than I think.”

Szayel worked quickly, and Gin looked at Tōsen. “If you want to take that boy, I would do it now. When Aizen finds out I’m gone and so is Ichigo, he’s going to lock down the place. I can take you with me to Urahara, they can get you to Komamura from there.”

Tōsen thought for a long moment. Then, he felt Wonderweiss grab him around the waist, hugging him. Tōsen put his hand down on his head and nodded. “Szayel, him too.”

Szayel finished with Ichigo and grabbed another syringe, injecting the smaller boy quickly before he realized what was happening. Wonderweiss squealed again and clutched Tōsen tighter. After a moment he stumbled and started to slide down to the floor. Tōsen reached down and picked him up. He stood and waited for Gin.

“Alright, come on,” Gin said as he exhaled a long breath.

He gathered Ichigo up in his arms and headed toward the back of Szayel’s office. There was a door back here that led to the garage. It was sort of like an ambulance entrance, where if someone was injured they just needed to pull up to the door and get the person inside. For now, it served as the only way Gin and Tōsen were going to make it out of the place. Gin got them to his SUV and buckled Ichigo’s limp body in one side of the back seat, then went around and buckled the boy in the other. He grabbed a light blanket he kept in the back and tossed it over the two of them, just in case someone stopped them on the way out of the place. They were lucky, though, and no one found it strange that the two men would be going out of the compound together.

This time, Gin didn’t hesitate as he got out of the car and banged on the door. He ran back to the car and started unbuckling both of them by the time Kisuke had come to the door.

“Gin, what the…Kaname?” he said, looking at Tōsen.

“Kisuke,” Tōsen said softly, reaching into the back and lifting up the young boy. “We need your help.”

Gin carefully picked up Ichigo and stared at Kisuke, turning toward him with the bundle. Kisuke stared at him and back to Gin.

“Please,” he added.

Kisuke nodded and ushered them both inside the building and down the stairs. Gin headed over toward one of the beds and gestured for Tōsen to go to the other. Gin looked up at Kisuke who was going to the lab door again.

“Hisagi! Izuru!” he called through the door. “I need help!”

This week, Hisagi Shūhei and Izuru Kira were working with Kisuke on gaining their paramedic training. The requirement was actually new to the Shinigami, and the only person licensed as a paramedic had been Kisuke. Today was their last day. Both came out and stared at Tōsen and Gin and back to Kisuke. Both were not sure how to feel about this because ten years ago, they had both just been entering the Shinigami under the two men that were standing there. Kira had worked under Gin, and Shūhei under Tōsen. The two seventeen-year-old trainees had been hurt by their mentors both defecting. The time since then had been hard, especially since their closest friend, Momo Hinamori, had been under Aizen, and she had actually left with him, utterly and completely devoted to him.

“No time for it, Izuru, check the child, Hisagi, you and I will deal with Ichigo, I might need you to help me with him.”

Kira went over to the bed and started checking over Wonderweiss while Kisuke headed over toward Ichigo with Shūhei following him.

“He needs x-rays,” Gin said to him. “Chest and left arm. Szayel said he thought the arm was a spiral break, and he guessed there were at least three cracked ribs. Breathing seems fine, so we didn’t think there was a punctured lung. Szayel splinted his fingers and arm until we could get here. We didn’t have the time to wait for him to cast it.”

Kisuke looked at Gin for a long time. “The head captain told us.”

Gin nodded. “I figured he would. I’m sorry I couldn’t do this sooner, I just…the danger was too great to him. It still is, but maybe he can handle it.”

Kira spoke up from the other bed. “Kisuke, the boy is probably about thirteen, maybe younger, but he’s malnourished. Other than that he appears in relatively good health.”

“Okay, Izuru. Just stay with him until he wakes up,” Kisuke said, sighing. He looked to Shuhei. “Let’s get him in the x-ray room before the sedative wears off,” he muttered and they rolled the bed into a room off to the side. Between him and Shūhei, they managed to get him positioned for the x-rays. Shuhei brought him back out while Kisuke looked over the x-rays.

Kisuke came out and Shūhei was starting an IV on him. “Kisuke, tie him down,” Gin said, looking at him seriously. “He’ll run, or try to, and he’ll end up hurting himself more.”

Shūhei frowned and looked over at him. “After someone did this to him? Why would he do something like stay there?”

“It wasn’t Aizen,” Tōsen said from beside the other bed. “It was the ones he let have him last night.”

Kisuke looked at Tōsen for a long moment than back to Kisuke. “Gin…what…”

“Look, after the last time, he ended up breaking the bastard’s jaw when he tried to get to him again. But Aizen was mad because he didn’t ‘need’ to break his jaw. So he sent him to work Barragan’s for a week, and I’d just got him back when he made him work the meeting with the Quincies. One of the others overdosed, and he looks like this,” Gin said, leaning against the bed and threading fingers through Ichigo’s hair.

Kisuke shook his head. “But Barragan…that’s…”

Gin nodded. “The last straw, Kisuke. The last one, I couldn’t watch it anymore. He told him he was going back every month from now on, and told him if he didn’t double the amount next time he was going to leave him there longer.”

Ichigo’s fingers twitched a bit. “Seriously, Kisuke, tie him. Now. If you don’t, he’s going to do whatever he can to get back to Sōsuke.”

“Why would anyone go back to that?” Kira asked and stared at him. “He obviously has been abused, why would he?”

Kisuke nodded though, trusting Gin’s judgement. He pulled the leather wrist restraints out from the pocket they were in and buckled one on the uninjured side. He couldn’t do anything on the other side, so he pulled out the strap that went across the thigh and the one that went across the shoulder and tightened them down. He wouldn’t be able to pull them off that way, and it wouldn’t be on his ribs. He was starting to come to consciousness though. Gin stood beside him and waited for the inevitable.

Shūhei was busy with the IVs. He ran a line to a saline bag and then put on another dose of antibiotics. Kisuke came over and handed him another small bag. He glanced at it, nodding. He supposed better safe than sorry as he hooked up the sedative to the line, clipping it closed. All he had to do was release the clip if it was necessary.

It took a few more minutes but Gin watched as his eyes fluttered and opened. “Hmm, Gin? What, why did he do that? Why’d he knock me out…” he said, and then his eyes moved around him and he realized that they weren’t at Szayel’s.

“Gin. Why are we here again?” he asked quietly and Gin knew that this was really going to be bad.

“Ichigo, I couldn’t watch it, okay? I had to get you out, I couldn’t…” Gin started.

“What the fuck, Gin!” he practically screamed at him, and started pulling at the restraints. “Why am I tied down…Gin let me up! Now! Goddammit! Sōsuke is going to be so fucking pissed! I need to get back, I never got to see him after the meeting! He needs to know about Ggio! Let me fucking up!” he growled, yanking hard against the restraints on the bed.

At the other bed, the Wonderweiss came awake suddenly from the noise and leaped to the floor and crouched there. He was growling and making doglike sounds. Tōsen turned toward him, kneeling beside him. Kira ran around the bed and when he reached for him, the kid bit his hand. Kira yelped and pulled his bleeding hand back in shock. Tōsen, though, got close enough to pull him close to him and he spoke soothing words quietly to him while he tried to get him to settle down.

“I can’t, Ichigo, I can’t…” Gin said after a long moment staring at Ichigo, and he felt like his heart was going to break again. “Ichigo, he doesn’t care about you! Can’t you see that?” he pleaded with him.

Kisuke and Shūhei stood behind the head of the bed where Ichigo couldn’t see him. They were also partially watching the other boy.

“He does so! He loves me! I love him! Now fucking let me get up! I swear, Gin, I’m going to fucking beat the living shit out of you and every goddamned mother fucker between me and the compound when I get up from here!” he yelled, arching his back and trying to pull or break the straps. Along his shoulders where the strap ran, red marks were starting to appear from the force he was exerting on them. Gin cursed the strength the boy had. “I’m going to fucking rip you fucking people apart!”

Kisuke looked at Gin with a long look and he thought the other man actually was teary eyed. “Ichigo,” Kisuke said, moving around to where Ichigo could see him. Ichigo turned what Kisuke could only describe as the most furious look he’d ever seen on a person. “Please, you are injured, you need to remain calm,” Kisuke said softly.

“Fuck you!” Ichigo screamed, pulling hard enough on the wrist restraints that they could hear the stress the links were under. “Let me up! I have to go back home!”

“Ichigo, stop!” Gin said and put his hands on Ichigo’s shoulders and pushed him down. “That is not your home! He doesn’t care about you, he never has! Don’t you understand? He sent you to a fucking whore house for a week and then demands you work harder the next time! Who does that to someone they love, think, Ichigo! Please!”

Ichigo glared at him. “No! I did it because I want to do it, dammit! I’ve told you before! I need to do it for him! He needs me to help him! He depends on me to do this for him because he can’t! He says so!”

“He’s lying to you, Ichigo,” Gin said, and he closed his eyes, swallowing as he tried to hold onto his own emotions. “He’s always lied to you! He murdered your mother, Ichigo. He murdered her, and then he kidnapped you!”

“She was a fucking drug addicted whore! She deserved to die!” he yelled at him.

Kisuke gasped. “What? What did he…he…?”

Gin looked over at Kisuke and shook his head. “Stop, she wasn’t! He lied to you! She loved you more than anything in this world and she stepped between you and him because she didn’t want him to hurt you! He took you from parents that loved and cared about you because he wanted to hurt them! He wanted to hurt your father and he wanted to do it by killing your mother and taking you from him!”

“My father is nobody! He didn’t care, he was going to let her…sell…but….” Ichigo started to feel odd as a memory of his mother floated in front of his face. “No, that’s not her, she…she was going…and he saved me…and I owe him everything!” he said and shook his head hard. “That’s not it, that’s not right! Sōsuke wouldn’t lie to me, why would he lie, he doesn’t lie to me!”

“Yes he does, Ichigo,” Gin said, and despite his attempts he felt tears slide down his face. Ichigo stared in disbelief. “I tried, Ichigo, so hard, I tried to get him to stop. I told him not to do the things he did. Remember, Ichigo, remember when you came to me, and I stayed with you and you were crying, and begging to go home to see your sisters and your father, remember that? I sat with you for days until Aizen took you away. I tried, I kept trying, and he wouldn’t listen! Remember that?”

Ichigo stared at him. He’d never seen Gin cry. Never. Thirteen years, and nothing had ever cracked his ever jovial face. “But…I remember…you, but I don’t…” he was getting so confused.

“Please, Ichigo. Remember what he did to you. Remember how horrible he was. How he’d hit you until you couldn’t stand because you didn’t do something so insignificant? How he took you to his bed when you were fifteen and you slept shackled to the bed for months…remember?” Gin pleaded with him, he just wanted him to remember the pain as well as the idiotic notions Sōsuke had put in his head.

He knew that the others were listening, but he couldn’t stop. He had to try and get through to him. He hadn’t noticed that someone had come into the room while he was trying to get Ichigo to see. “He…he did it because he l-loved me, he said…he said…he…but…” he swallowed and yanked somewhat weakly on the restraints. “He said that people…did that…for…for people they love…” he gasped out, looking somewhat horrified at what was going on in his head.

“Ichigo, please, I need you to remember how he treated you, please. He didn’t love you, he never did. Ichigo, he forgot you at Barragan’s. I have no idea how long he would have left you there if I hadn’t asked him where you were! He wasn’t busy, Ichigo, he doesn’t care!” Gin tried to choke back the rising bile in his throat. “He has been using you. He likes watching you do these things, he likes watching you be humiliated and hurt by these people, he doesn’t care!”

“No!” Ichigo screamed. “No, no, no! I don’t want to think that! He’s…he’s everything to me and he cares, he does! I want to help him; he doesn’t make me do anything! I don’t do anything I don’t want to do! I don’t need saving! I could save myself, Gin, so stop trying to save me! I don’t want to be saved!”

Ichigo’s eyes blinked slowly and he felt the world spin. He looked over to see Shūhei had unclipped the sedative in the IV. “Goddammit! You fucking mother fucking sons of a bitches! Let me fucking go!” he said as the sedative started weaken his struggles. “Just let me go, I want to see Sōsuke,” he said as his eyes fluttered a couple times before they closed.

Gin let his head hang and he sighed deeply while he stood there holding his hands on Ichigo’s shoulders. He squeezed the boy’s shoulders and felt someone put hands on his shoulders. “Gin,” a voice said that he hadn’t heard in a very long time. He turned and met eyes with Isshin Kurosaki.

“I’m sorry, Isshin,” he said, and Isshin saw that the tears were very real. “I couldn’t…I couldn’t get him out before, he would have killed him, I wanted to so much, I wanted to show him that someone who loved him wouldn’t hurt him, and Isshin, I…”

Isshin had been prepared to be angry after he got the call from the headquarters. They were, of course, watching Kisuke’s security feeds regularly now for this reason. He had been prepared to scream and punch the man who had kept his son away from him. But now, he realized that there was a lot more going on here than he had believed. The emotions that were playing on the face of the ever emotionless Gin were evidence of that. Could it be that he had found something else besides what he expected in Ichigo?

“No, Gin, don’t. Let’s just go forward. Just…tell me what’s happened,” he said softly.

Gin nodded, reaching up and wiping tears away. He turned his back toward Ichigo and sighed. “Damn, I don’t cry,” he muttered. “Um, he was brought to me that night. He was dirty, soaking wet, and screaming. We tried so hard to help him. He was so sad, so helpless. There was more than me that thought it was wrong. We knew it was spite that was driving Aizen. He wanted to make sure you left the Shinigami. He wanted Kisuke to leave. He knew that if he murdered Masaki, and he took Ichigo, both of you would back off, and leave. At first he said he’d let him go after you were out of the picture. He was so cruel to him, Isshin. Just…the child suffered at his hands so much. He…he would just strike him for the smallest infractions of the rules, then he’d change the rules. And that, that wasn’t enough, though, he had to take it further. He had to take him to his bed, and Isshin he was fifteen. He…he just broke after that for a long time,” he sighed deeply as he leaned back and tilted his head upward. “I tried to step in. But he sent me away after I expressed that I didn’t think it was right that he do this. I was gone for a while, and when I came back, he’d already starting making him believe that he loved him. He…he told me, Aizen, that is, he said that if Ichigo loved him, that he would do anything he asked and he wouldn’t run. He said if he made Ichigo feel important, like he mattered, then he’d stay. And he was right.”

Gin put a hand to his forehead. “When the thing with Llargo happened, I nearly just stayed here with him. But I couldn’t then, because everything I’ve spent fifteen years collecting would have been lost. I had to go back, at least until I’d gotten the evidence out of the compound. I did that yesterday, so this morning, when I saw him like this…I couldn’t wait. I love…” he choked on the word and looked away. “He matters to me,” he said instead.

“Ichimaru Gin,” he heard from nearby and he looked up to see the Head Captain coming in from the stairwell with several others. He stood up straighter and nodded to him.

“Sir, I’m sorry, I couldn’t wait, I…” he stammered, knowing that he had broken every rule that he had been given.

Yamamoto walked up and put a surprisingly gentle hand on Gin’s shoulder. “No, I received the evidence this morning. And you did well. I asked much of you.” The head captain glanced over at Ichigo sadly. “You did what you could for the boy. You are deserving of much praise, Gin. I will ask that you come back with me for a full debriefing, not just over Ichigo, but everything.”

Gin nodded, giving a pained look toward Ichigo’s inert form. “I…will he be moved to the Serietei as well?” he asked and turned, running a hand down the side of Ichigo’s slack face.

Yamamoto nodded. “He will have to be. He has to be secure, and by the looks, he will resist our attempts to keep him away from Sōsuke.”

Gin nodded. “Yeah,” he said softly.

Yamamoto turned back to the others that had come with him, Captain Unohana and her second Isane had come to transfer Ichigo to the main Serietei building. They moved around and pushed the bed toward the loading elevator in the back of the area. Gin sighed, and turned back to Tōsen. “And this boy?”

“The child is more dog than child,” Tōsen said from where he knelt on the floor, petting the boy’s blonde head. “I think it might help if Komamura were to take him in. Assuming he still has the dogs.”

Yamamoto nodded. “It would be for the best. Who is he?”

Tōsen shook his head. “No one, Aizen ordered me to kill him. I could not kill an innocent. His mother had been in one of the slums we owned. She was severely mentally ill, and the boy lived among a pack of stray dogs.”

“Where is she?” Yamamoto asked.

Tōsen shook his head. “She was killed.”

“Very well, Kisuke, arrange to have the boy transported. Tōsen, you and Gin will come back with me for full debriefings. And Tōsen, you left of your own volition, so I will warn you now that there will be consequences for your actions,” Yamamoto said sternly.

Tōsen nodded. “I knew there would be, but I could not allow myself to stay knowing now about what had happened to Ichigo, and this boy.”

Yamamoto nodded. “Tranquilize the boy, Kisuke. I will meet you at the Serietei when you have dropped the child with Komamura. He and his wife will be able to care for him better since he’s used to being around animals.”

Yamamoto turned and left. Tōsen and Gin both followed him. Wonderweiss reached for Tōsen as he left, but Tōsen looked back.

“Stay here, I’ll return,” he said, and left.

Wonderweiss jumped as he was injected with something and fell asleep again. “Alright, Shūhei, Kira, I’ll stay here, can you two take this child to Komamura?” Kisuke asked.

“Yes, sir,” Kira said as Shūhei picked Wonderweiss up and they headed to Kira’s car. They settled the boy into the back and got in the front. Kira started the car but didn’t move.

“What’s up?” Shūhei said quietly.

“Just…all of this,” Kira said softly. “Nothing is as it seems. Do you think Gin was telling the truth?”

“About the Kurosaki boy?” Shūhei asked. “You saw him, and you heard what he said. The boy’s brainwashed or something.”

Kira threw the car into drive and pulled out. “No, Stockholm.”

“What?” Shūhei asked, frowning at him.

“Stockholm Syndrome, this thing where people who have been kidnapped or held hostage identify with their captors. It’s like a self-protection thing. To cope with the trauma, they attach themselves to the perpetrator. It happens when people fear for their life, and the captor has offered token ‘gifts’ or something to them,” Kira said, remembering the basic psychology class he’d taken at academy.

They were quiet a long time as they drove well outside the city limits. “How do you fix it?” Shūhei finally asked.

Kira shook his head. “Sometimes you can’t,” Kira said. “I think…it depends on a lot of things. But…he’s going to go back to him, Shu. I know it. He’ll somehow get out and get back to Sōsuke Aizen. And when he does, I don’t think he’ll survive it.”

They pulled into the driveway of a large house with a huge fenced area around it. Both go out and Shūhei got the boy out of the back. They looked up as the tall Sajin Komamura came out with his tiny wife. It was always amusing. Luna was probably two feet shorter than Sajin.

“The head captain called,” Sajin said, coming down the steps. “This the feral boy?” he asked. In the background, they heard several dogs barking.

Kira nodded and held out the hand the boy had bit. “Watch out, he’s a biter.”

Sajin smiled. “Do not worry, he only needs to be socialized. If he has been around dogs, we can begin there and work our way to helping him speak properly. He will never be what you will call normal, though,” he said sadly. “But he will be happy and we will make sure of that.”

Luna smiled as the boy was transferred to Sajin’s arms. She stood on tiptoe and looked into his slack face. “He is a good boy, I can tell. Anyone with the heart of a _perro_ is a good boy,” she said, smiling.

Luna taught Spanish at a school nearby. She had actually met Sajin through her Spanish classes. They had no children, except the dogs that Komamura trained. They of course had their own dogs, in addition to the ones they raised and trained. Both of them loved each other very much, but only romantically. Neither had family pushing for children, and they were perfectly happy with that.

Kira and Shūhei nodded and headed back to the car for the long trip back. This time, the both sat in silence. They had no idea what to think.


	5. By His Pain

 

Ichigo came awake with a violent start. He sat up, panting for breath as though he’d been running for miles. Perhaps he had been. Everything was hazy from the time that asshole in the meeting had grabbed him and pushed a pill into his mouth. He sat up with a groan and held his head. He flinched when he bumped a cast into his face. Oh, he thought. His arm got broken. Again. He looked around and realized he was not home.

The room was of a decent size, ten by twenty or so, he guessed. The bed he was on was built into the wall, and across from him, there was a dresser similarly built into the wall. The place was painted light blue, and the floor was oak looking flooring. The door was at the other end, and it had one of those small windows in it like hospitals had. He got up and went to the door slowly, not seeing any windows or any other ways out. There was a small bathroom, but instead of a door, it had some sort of sliding curtain over it. Inside was a toilet, shower, and a sink, not even a mirror.

He wasn’t surprised when he pulled down the handle to find it didn’t open. He growled loudly and slammed his fists into the door.

“Hey! Where am I? Let me the fuck out of here!” he yelled and banged some more.

There was a click and an intercom seemed to come on. He glared up at the nearly invisible speaker built into the ceiling.

“Ichigo, please, you need to remain calm.”

“Gin!” he screamed, punching the door again. “Get your fucking ass in here! I’m going to rip your fucking head off!”

“Stop, please, you’re safe, I promise. You’re in a holding cell. I can’t let you out yet. You have to understand that Sosuke has done nothing but like to you. Please, at least listen to your father,” he said and Ichigo felt his stomach twist.

“Send him fucking down here, I’ll fucking beat the hell out of him too!” he screamed at the ceiling. “I don’t want anyone else! I want to go home!”

The intercom clicked off and Ichigo started pacing. He had to get out of here. He just had to. Maybe if he pretended to go along with them, they’d let him out. He wondered if he could fake being agreeable to the people that took him away from Sosuke. He doubted it. He missed Sosuke so much right now. He stopped and slid down the wall, wrenching his fingers into his hair. He couldn’t believe this. After everything he’d done for Sosuke, he’d been ripped away from him anyway.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Sajin ruffled Goro’s fur on his head as he sniffed around the futon. Goro was his lead dog, the pack leader, he supposed, of his six current pets. He had others at times, but these were the ones he kept on no matter how many he raised. He was a beautiful dog, a Imo-Ino mixed breed and solid white. He sniffed at the unconscious boy on the futon and whined at Sajin.

“Now, now, he’ll wake up soon,” he said with a smile.

Sajin noticed that he was beginning to stir and stepped back and smiled as Goro sat beside the futon. The boy’s eyes fluttered open and he started, obviously he realized he was in a new place. He looked over and saw the dog sitting patiently beside him. He reached out and Goro nuzzled his hand. He smiled and then made a growling bark sound in his throat and Sajin smiled. The poor child, he thought as he moved closer. He rubbed Goro’s head and the boy looked up at him with wide, violet eyes.

“Wonderweiss,” Sajin said. “This is Goro,” he said, kneeling beside the dog and scratching around his ears.

The boy stared for a moment. “Grrr….Grrr-row,” he finally said. 

Sajin smiled. “Yes, I’m Sajin,” he said, pointing to himself.

There was no response this time, but Sajin nodded and motioned for Goro to get onto the futon. He leaped up and laid down beside the boy. Wonderweiss grinned put his head right in the middle of Goro’s belly and sighed happily. Goro looked at the boy then licked him on the face as he lay there.

Luna came out of the kitchen with a place of food. “How goes?” she asked, glancing at the two.

“Well, he seems to be much calmer with a dog around,” he said with a nod.

Luna sat down the plat on the table and looked at him. “Have you heard what will happen with Tosen?”

Sajin shook his head. “Not yet. I’m sure he’ll stay at the Seireitei for a while, though. I hate to see him having taken this chance with his life. He was always so hopeful as a child,” he said, sighing deeply.

They had grown up together, mostly because of their half Japanese heritages. There was something to be said for finding others who were similar in their being excluded. Sajin didn’t want to see him go to jail for the rest of his life for having followed the path he thought was right. He made the right choice when it was import, and he believed that the head captain would take that into consideration.

Sajin moved over and picked up a piece of the meat from the tray of cheeses, meats, and crackers that Luna had brought out.  He tossed it to Goro, who hesitated before he ate it, unused to having human food. Wonderweiss looked up, though and crawled over to the edge of the futon and looked. Sajin pointed at the plate and the boy tentatively picked up a couple pieces of meat and cheese. Before long he was happily eating and giving Goro a bit now and then.

The road would be long, but he figured that they would be able to help the boy eventually.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Nnoitra Gilga was exhausted and a bloody mess, to be honest, as he sat in the bathtub being studiously washed by his favorite little whore. He usually ended up coming to Barragan’s for a little relaxation after he went a few rounds in the ring with some bastard that didn’t know when to shut up. He ran an illegal fighting ring for Aizen, and sometimes, these assholes let their mouth overload their ass. He had to teach them to put up or shut up. He smiled as Tesla came into the bathroom and he smelled the fragrant scent of cherry blossoms. He always wore cherry blossom scents. Tesla was a sweet boy, he thought. He only requested him anymore. The fact that he was missing an eye as well didn’t hurt. He’d never asked him how he lost it. The boy knew his stuff though. He was wonderful at massaging and just making Nnoitra feel good. Not to mention he was a good fuck, too.

He looked up as he came around the tub and knelt beside him. When he reached over to grab the bottle of soap, Nnoitra’s hand shot out and grabbed his arm.

“The fuck did that to you?” he asked, his brow scrunching up.

Tesla looked at him and reached up to touch his neck where bruises in the shape of fingers were. He swallowed and shook his head. “Client, that’s all,” he said.

“A client choked you?” Nnoitra asked, concerned.

“It doesn’t happen often; this one guy just likes it. He just…last time he left bruises,” he said with a shrug as he grabbed the bottle and began to pour some on the cloth.

“Does Barragan know?” he asked.

“Of course, he knows everything around here,” he muttered. “But he doesn’t really hurt me, he just chokes me until I pass out while he’s fucking me. I mean, it doesn’t really hurt too much.”

Nnoitra frowned and suddenly felt a wave of something he didn’t understand. He was a bit angry to find out that Barragan would let someone choke out one of his whores, especially after the incident with the one that overdosed a few days ago.

“So did anything happen after that boy died?” Nnoitra asked finally, reaching out and running a long fingered hand down Tesla’s pale face.

Tesla looked up and shrugged. “It was one of Aizen’s meetings. I don’t…I don’t know anything about it. I know Barragan was pretty mad the last couple days around here. But he said something about not being able to deal with Aizen after what happened. I don’t know what it was that happened, though,” he said, standing up and offering a towel to Nnoitra.

“Yeah, Aizen’s on a tear,” Nnoitra said with a snort. “Kurosaki vanished the morning after the boy died. Seems Gin and Tosen disappeared at the same time. He doesn’t know if one of them turned, if they all turned, though face it, Kurosaki didn’t turn. But either way, all three are gone, and he’s pissed,” Nnoitra said as he laid down on the bed, dropping the towel.

“Ichigo? The boy that was here for a while?” Tesla asked with a frown. “He loves Aizen, he was all he talked about while he was here. Poor thing. I think he believes that he’s more than a whore like the rest of us. Completely delusional about it,” Tesla said as he climbed up on Nnoitra’s legs. “Either way, you want a massage first, or straight to fucking me?”

Nnoitra pulled Tesla’s face down and kissed him for a long moment before he smiled at him. “Fucking, straight to fucking,” he muttered, grabbing Tesla and flipping them over.

Still, Tesla’s mind wandered as he lay pinned under Nnoitra. What could have happened to him? He worried. He knew the type like Ichigo. They had convinced themselves that they were in control when they were anything but. Still, he was glad he was with Nnoitra tonight. He actually enjoyed the tall, dark haired man. He was strong, but gentle at the same time. He didn’t make him fear for his life like Opie. He hoped Opie didn’t come back for a while. He scared Tesla. The look on his face alone.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Gin sat in the empty conference room with his head on his arms. He had no idea what to do. It had been nearly a week, and Ichigo was showing no sign of changing his mind. He’d finally been letting the nurses and doctor into the room, but he threated to kill anyone else with his bare hands that tried to come into the room with him. Unfortunately, Ichigo was one of the few people Gin knew could back that threat up fully, even with one hand.

Gin started when someone sat down across from him. He sat up and stared at someone he hadn’t thought he’d ever seen again.

“Shinji?” he asked as he stared at the blonde haired man across from him.

Shinji leaned back in the chair and kicked his legs up on the table, crossing them at the ankle. “Yo, how’s it going?”

“What…how…you’re dead,” he said finally.

“Rumors of my death are greatly overstated. Actually, all of us,” he said with a sigh. “We got out, Gin. I’m not sure we could have without Kisuke Urahara, but we got out.”

Gin simply stared at the other man. Two years ago, there had been eight deaths one right after another in the research division. Aizen had been angry and swore that he was going to scalp Szayel for it, since he was the one that was doing the research into some new types of designer drugs that increased susceptibility to suggestion. Aizen wanted some form of mind control. The eight people were captured Shinigami agents, all of which were as good as dead. Still, Aizen hadn’t liked losing test subjects so quickly. Szayel had explained at the time that there had been a miscalculation in the statistics, and it had been enough to kill them all in rapid succession.

“Szayel,” Gin said, nodding. “He helped Urahara get you out.”

Shinji nodded. “He did. Szayel’s a good man. He’s been a Shinigami man since day one, you know,” he said and exhaled with a long sigh. “Now, I hear you have a certain second in custody that isn’t so cooperative.”

Gin nodded and resisted the urge to let his heart override his mouth. “Yeah, I don’t know how to break through to him.”

Shinji nodded and stood up slowly. “Well, I’ll give it a shot.”

“Wait, you know how he is, he’s threatening to kill anyone that comes in there with him,” Gin said, quite worried for anyone that tried.

Shinji grinned at him. “I know how to deal with that volatile little shit. I downed his ass at least once in a fair fight, I can damn sure do even better now,” he muttered as he dropped the chair back down and stood up.

Shinji stuffed his hands into his jean pockets and headed over toward the medical wing. He nodded to Isane as he walked by. “Um, Captain Hirako, you might not want to go in there…” she said.

“Don’t worry,” Shinji said with a wink at her. “Don’t open the door, no matter what you hear. Got a feeling me and the brat are going to have some things to work out.”

“Please, captain, don’t add anymore injuries to him, he’s already got a cast on one arm!” she said with an exasperated sigh.

Shinji input the code and opened the door, going in without a word. He looked over and saw the familiar mop of orange hair. It had not been that long ago since he’d seen him. As strange as it sounded, Shinji had been the only one that Ichigo would come talk to. He didn’t know why, but even locked in the cells in the researcher’s hallway, Ichigo would wander down and talk to him through the door. He never said anything really revealing, just that he liked to talk to him for some reason. Shinji supposed it had something to do with the fact that Ichigo had been the one to bring him in. That was a fight that Shinji very nearly won, if it hadn’t been for Aizen shooting him with a fucking tranq dart. Ichigo had been so angry about that.

It seemed that Ichigo had some sort of respect for someone who could nearly best him. As things went on, Shinji realized that something was very wrong with him. He would hear the others talk about him as though he was insignificant, some plaything for Aizen. Shinji knew that he was more than a simple plaything, but he also wasn’t sure why he would be perceived that way.

“Look at you, laying around all day,” Shinji said as he leaned against the door.

Ichigo nearly fell off the bed as he got up and stared at him. “Sh-Shinji?” he asked. “You…but they said that you all…they…you died!”

Shinji shrugged. “Yeah, well, obviously I didn’t.”

Ichigo’s mind was warring with everything else. He didn’t understand how everything was going so sideways. “Szayel…he said that the drug killed you…and they took your body away before I could even see you…then the rest started to die, and the whole project was scraped.”

“Szayel is a good man, Ichigo. I understand he helped Gin get you out,” he said slowly.

Ichigo’s face changed. “Fuck Gin,” he growled and turned away. “I was fucking fine and I didn’t want to fucking leave. And now I just want to go back home.”

“Ichigo, please, you need to listen to Gin. What Aizen has told you, none of that is true, don’t you see?” Shinji said with a flat tone to his voice.

Even injured, Ichigo moved fast. Before Shinji had time to react, Ichigo had his hand around his throat and holding him up enough Shinji had to stand on his toes. He grinned at him. “We gonna play this again, Ichigo? I’ve had a couple of years to work on my skills since the last time. Want to take the chance with your arm broken?”

Ichigo growled at him and stepped back. “Don’t you fucking start with me. I don’t want to hear it.”

“What, the truth?” Shinji asked, straightening the collar of his polo shirt. “Ichigo, I spent nearly two years in that fucking hell hole. I heard a lot of things down there. I heard what the others said. I heard what they did. They would brag on it, Ichigo. So don’t say that those things never happened.”

Ichigo crossed his arms and walked away from Shinji. He hated having a cast on his arm. Otherwise he might have taken Shinji on. He thought of their first go round as a draw because really, neither of them won. He sat down on the bed and shook his head.

“No, nothing happened that I didn’t want to happen,” Ichigo said with a firm shake of his head.

Shinji sighed and made his way over and sat down beside him. “Ichigo, you didn’t want to be fucking raped by a man twice your age when you were fifteen fucking years old. You didn’t want to get fucking passed around like some goddamned party favor when Aizen decided to let the others have a go. You didn’t want to stand beside the man that had destroyed everything you ever knew. No matter what you said, Ichigo, you won’t ever convince me of that.”

Ichigo swallowed and wanted to disagree. He wanted to tell Shinji he was wrong. He wanted to say it but he felt the words sticking in his throat for some reason. How could he even begin to explain to Shinji that those things were true, yes, but they didn’t matter.

“You’re confused, Ichigo, I get that. You got to understand though, Sosuke Aizen is a bad man who doesn’t care about you at all. I read the fucking reports. What that fucking asshole Yammy Llargo did to you? That just isn’t something anyone wants. Fuck, Rose is a goddamned masochist, but he doesn’t let anyone do something like that to him. You nearly died, and all Aizen did was get mad at you for breaking the mother fucker’s jaw, which good for you for that, by the way,” Shinji said, and he saw just the slight hint of a grin on Ichigo’s lips for a second. “He fucking sent you to a whore house, Ichigo. A whore house. And nearly forgot you. He doesn’t care.”

Ichigo shook his head. “I need him, Shinji,” he whispered finally. “I can’t…I can’t live without him. He’s everything to me.”

Shinji sighed and put an arm around Ichigo’s shoulders. “Look, I’m one of the few people you actually respected in that place because I was the only fucker to be able to nearly put your ass down.”

Ichigo had to admit that was true. He’d always been able to ignore the things others said about him because he didn’t care. There were only a couple of people that he even began to respect in that place. One had been Grimmjow because, like Shinji, they’d ended up nearly killing each other over something stupid. Then there had been a couple others along the way. Other than them, he never really cared about anyone. Except maybe Gin, as much as he hated to admit it. Gin had kind of been there always, and even though he didn’t doubt he could put him down, he didn’t really want to. Ichigo didn’t fight to lose, he fought to win any way he could.

“Look, I get that this is confusing. I’ve read what Gin reported about what you were told. I get that having your head filled with lies over the last thirteen years is hard to understand. Ichigo, you got to listen to them. You can’t afford not to,” Shinji said with a squeeze of Ichigo’s shoulders. Honestly, Shinji was surprised that Ichigo hadn’t tried to take him down, broken arm and all.

Ichigo lifted his head and stared blankly at the wall for a long time. “But how can it all be lies, it all is real…” he started, tapering off as he spoke.

“You need to remember before, Ichigo. That’s what you need to remember. So try to do that. Try to remember your mother, not the one Aizen told you about, the one in your memory,” he said and stood up slowly. “Put the pieces together, Ichigo. I know you can. You’re probably one of the smartest people I’ve ever met, and I know you can do this.”

Shinji sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets again, walking to the door and knocking on it twice. “Ready,” he called out. The door opened and he slipped out again.

Ichigo sat there for a long time. He picked at the clothes he was in. Pajamas of some sort, he thought as he got up and went into the bathroom. He pulled the curtain closed and undressed slowly. He stared down at himself and he thought about Shinji’s words. Who in their right mind would let anyone do this to them? He touched the welts and bruises that had been left on his sides and down his hips and thighs. He wasn’t in his right mind, he thought solemnly. He stepped into the shower and took down the shower head so he could wash without getting the cast wet. Even after nearly a week, some of the bruises were still dark. Most of them had turned the sickly green color and were beginning to fade.

Finally, he just broke all of a sudden. He dropped the shower head and slid down the side of the shower to the floor. He rested his elbows on his knees and cradled his head. He wasn’t sure if his face was wet from tears or the water.

He managed to get himself together, though and got dressed again. He headed out and found that someone was sitting on the bed again, a man with dark hair and something about him…

“What the fuck do you want?” he growled at him as he crossed his arms with every intention to ignore him, or beat the fuck out of him.

“Ichigo, son, tell me you at least remember your mother,” the man said quietly and Ichigo felt slightly dizzy.

_“Ichigo!” the woman’s voice called out and he felt warm and happy. “Come on, you silly boy, let me dry your tears!”_

Ichigo shook his head. “What?”

“I know you don’t think you remember, but I know you can,” he said with a soft look. “Gin told me what Aizen said. What he told you about who we were. He was wrong. So wrong. Your mother loved you so much, Ichigo, she loved you, and your sisters, with every piece of her heart and soul.”

Ichigo’s mind struggled to bring the two images to the surface at the same time. The woman with long brown hair, holding him when he was crying was warring with the image of the drug addict who…who…he couldn’t picture. If that was his mother, why was the only image he could see in his mind the one where she was beautiful and held him with all the love of a mother and more? He looked at the man sitting on the bed. His face was etched, burned even, into his memory. But…it was laughing, and smiling, and warm, and the image of the father that didn’t care… If his father had abandoned him, why would he have this memory?

The two little girls, laughing and chasing each other. The woman hugging them, and calling to Ichigo to come play with his sisters… But they were sold to…but no. They weren’t. The images and things he’d been told began to fall apart and he just stood there and stared blankly at the floor. He turned away and stared behind him. He couldn’t look at his face anymore. He just couldn’t. It reminded him of things he didn’t want to remember, or did he?

Ichigo reacted before he even thought when Isshin put a hand on his shoulder. His fist connected solidly with the other man’s jaw. To his surprise, though, the other man seemed to shake it off after stumbling back for a second.

“My son, you certainly got the Kurosaki spirit,” he said with a smile as he rubbed his jaw.

Ichigo stared at him for a long moment. Something about that, something about it… He stared at him, realizing he didn’t seemed bothered by being punched in the face.

“Gin said you always came up swinging. That’s okay, though. I understand why. You’re my son, and you’re Masaki’s son, so I know you are strong, and I know your heart is good,” he said with a nod. “I know that you’ll understand with some time. Just, please, let us help you get through this.”

“I don’t want to get through this!” he almost yelled. “I want to go back to Sosuke! I want to…to forget all of this! I want to be where I know how things work!”

“Ichigo, son, he’s using you. You have to understand…” Isshin said with a sigh.

“Don’t you think I fucking know that?” Ichigo said. “I fucking know that! I always have! I’m his to use as he wants, so all of you need to fuck right the hell off.”

He turned and walked to the bed again, sitting down with his back to Isshin. “Just fucking leave me alone. I don’t want to talk any more to you people unless you’re going to let me leave.”

Isshin nodded. “Son, but you know that he lied…”

“Fuck you and everyone else. I don’t care. He lied because he had to. He lied, okay, whatever, he had reasons for telling me the things he did, I just have to…have to figure them out!” he yelled over his shoulder before he turned toward the wall again. “Just leave me the fuck alone!”

Isshin nodded, knocking on the door and calling out. He walked out and saw Gin standing outside watching the closed circuit monitor above the doorway. Isshin stared for a long moment as Ichigo sat for a bit then flopped down on the bed. He faced the wall and curled up into a ball, pulling the covers tight over him.

“Do you think it helped?” Isshin asked Gin.

“I don’t know. He…he seems to understand that he’s been lied and manipulated, and now he’s making excuses for Aizen doing those things. He’s going to try to support anything Aizen has done somehow. He’s into his head so much that…I don’t know if we can break it,” Gin said with a sigh.

“Is it Stockholm?” Isshin asked hesitantly.

“Maybe. We’ll have to see. It’s hard to say what it is. He’s been manipulated and molded since he was nine years old. I…I don’t know. I tried, I tried to keep him from falling into his trap, and I couldn’t stop it,” Gin said and looked away from the monitor.

Isshin nodded. “I know, and I’m glad you tried. Now we just have to try and get him through this, and hope that he doesn’t…doesn’t end up like other people that have gone through these things. I don’t want to lose my son to his own hands,” Isshin said with a sigh.

He knew exactly what the chances were of his son ever breaking the hold Aizen had put on him. He knew that they were slim at best. He’d gone over the possibilities with the psychologist, Dr. Ukitake. He’d warned Isshin that the abuse, gaslighting, and manipulation alone could cause all the things they were seeing. However, the attachment could go further into the realm of something like Stockholm Syndrome. If that was the case, Isshin had been warned that there might be nothing to be done. Recovery from that was almost unheard of. Ichigo would go back, no matter what he had to do or what was done to him. 

Isshin stood and watched the monitor for a long time. He was lost and he had no idea how to help his son.


	6. By His Memory

 

Ichigo sat on the floor with his knees tucked under his chin and stared across the room. His heart was being torn asunder. Two very different things were vying for control of his memory. He couldn’t stand it. He just wanted to go back to not being able to remember the things that he wanted to forget. He didn’t want these things in his memory. He wanted the things that assured him of the last thirteen years of his life. He couldn’t take this, though. He wanted to just go back, slip into Sōsuke’s bed, and feel warm and protected…

But that wasn’t true. He didn’t feel protected with Sōsuke. He never had. He looked up as the door opened and he saw Gin standing inside of it again. He swallowed thickly and tried to glare at him, but he just couldn’t.

“Ichigo, I…please…you have to listen to me,” he said as he came into the room and knelt down beside Ichigo.

Gin knew very well the chance he was taking coming into this room with Ichigo right now. In fact, both Shinji and Isshin had asked him not to. Gin was the person that brought him out, and he would be the person that Ichigo blamed. Gin had said that they weren’t to do anything if Ichigo threatened to hurt him. He knew that Ichigo was very much capable of doing major damage to him, even with one arm.

“You took me away from Sōsuke,” he said, and Gin heard that dangerous tone to his voice. He had to treat carefully.

“He was hurting you, Ichigo, and I couldn’t watch anymore, I’ve watched for thirteen years, and along the way, something happened to me. I didn’t know what to do about it. I still don’t,” Gin said, looking down at the floor between them. How was he going to explain this?

“What do you mean, Gin?” Ichigo asked, looking at him with eyes that somehow weren’t as angry.

Gin chewed his lip thoughtfully for a long moment. “I was twenty-four when you came in. Ichigo, I don’t know if you remember that first night, but I do. I remember every detail of it…”

As Gin spoke, the words created a picture, a memory, and there was something so very real about it…

-oOo-

Gin heard the door slam and he heard the sound of a screaming child. He had been sitting at his desk, going over some files. He looked up to see Aizen come into the office and toss a boy to the floor. Gin looked at him and back up at Aizen. The boy was sobbing hysterically and covered in mud and blood.

“What is this?” Gin asked. It had been a few weeks since he’d been given the assignment by the Shinigami. He was, so far, good at this. He knew Aizen had no idea of his true intention.

“Take care of him, I’m tired of listening to this. If you can’t get him quiet, I might just shoot him like I did his mother,” he said, dropping into his large chair.

Gin nodded and got up to see what he could do. The boy had orangey red hair and when he looked up at Gin with teary big brown eyes, Gin didn’t know what to do. He swallowed hard against the knot in his throat. The boy had a black eye already and there was blood running from his nose and lip.

“Come now, come,” he said, reaching down and picking him up. The child was obviously not capable of walking on his own. “Let’s get you cleaned up, okay?” he said gently as he carried him, still sobbing into the large bath. Behind him, he heard the door open and close again. Gin looked up to see Tier Hallibel, one of the others that worked for Aizen.

“What is this, Ichimaru?” she asked as she came forward.

Gin had set the boy down beside the bath and he was just standing there, sobbing loudly and saying incoherent words. Gin started the bath and looked at her.

“I don’t know, Aizen said that if I didn’t get him quiet, he’d shoot him like he shot his mother,” he said as quietly as he could.

Tier frowned for a minute before she went to find clothes for the child. Gin finally got him to stop sobbing so loudly after a long time. He started taking off the muddy and blood caked clothes. Gin checked him over and found no injuries other than those on his face. He imagined that Aizen had been annoyed and cuffed him a couple of times before they got him back to the compound. He managed to get the boy into the bath and he sat there now, sniffling and hiccupping now and then. Tier came back with some clothes that came from one of the other associates who had a child.

Gin started cleaning his muddy hair and tried to speak comforting words to him, but he wasn’t sure how much good it did.

“What’s your name?” Gin asked as he took the cloth and cleaned his face carefully.

He sniffled again and tears still streamed down his face. “I-I-Ich-Ichigo. K-K-Kuro-Kuro-Kurosaki…” he said finally gasping at the end. “He…he…he…I…mommy…” he said and started to gasp again as he sobbed. “I want my mommy!” he practically screamed. “Bring her back, bring her back!”

Gin thought his heart, which he had assumed was stone, was going to break. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, but we can’t, I’ll try to take care of you, okay? I’m not good with kids, but I’ll try, okay?”

Ichigo kept crying through the entire time, and as Gin took him out and dressed him in the shorts and t-shirt Tier had brought him. Gin had no idea where to take him, though, and considering he was clinging to him when he picked him up, he just took him to his room. Gin got into his bed with the child clinging to his neck and still sobbing. He slid under the covers, still in his suit and everything, and tucked the boy into his arms, holding him as tightly as he could.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Ichigo,” he whispered. “I’ll do what I can, I promise, I will…”

-oOo-

Ichigo shook his head, trying to get the memory to go away but he couldn’t now. It was there, in the front of his mind, and he couldn’t make it disappear. It was real, and he remembered every detail now that Gin said something. He remembered seeing the flash of the gun in the night rain. He remembered. He remembered in vivid clarity his mother screaming, and falling. He remembered clutching her body as she died. He remembered her putting a bloody hand on his face and whispering that she loved him, always.

“Yeah, that was…that was how it started…I remember. I remember that he lied about that but…but the other things…the other things…after that…” Ichigo stammered.

“Ichigo, please. Think. Remember when he decided that he was going to take you to his bed. Do you remember that? I do, Ichigo, I remember so well because that’s…that’s when I realized what was happening to me, that’s when I understood what I felt…” Gin said, continuing on with what he remembered with vivid, horrible, clarity. Ichigo, of course, hadn’t been there for his part in it, but he wanted Ichigo to remember it, somehow and some way. He had to.

-oOo-

“Sir, you can’t be serious?” Gin asked with complete horror. Six years had passed since he’d taken that little boy and tried to calm him. And now Aizen had a truly horrible idea on what to do.

“Why not?” he said as he shuffled through papers. “You’ve seen the way the boy is cowered to me. He’s susceptible to anything I tell him. He’s fifteen. He’s old enough.”

“But sir, fifteen isn’t old enough for what you intend to do! He should…should be at least eighteen before you…you…” Gin stammered.

“Before I have sex with him? Why wait? There will be no difference. Besides, if I utilize his vulnerabilities, then it will make him easier to manipulate. You know that as well as I do. It is rather simple. I convince him he desires it. I’ll convince him I love him and that everything I do is for him. I train him in the manner to befit me, whatever I choose to do with him, and then he becomes pliant and subservient by choice rather than force.” He looked up. “It is the oldest trick in the book, Gin. Really, I’m surprised that someone like you hasn’t taken advantage of a younger person like this.”

“Yes but…” Gin started. He didn’t finish because Aizen turned a look on him that he knew rather than to argue with.

“You are needed in Hong Kong. You’ll go there and resolve the issues with the company that is trying to resist us. When you come back, maybe you will decide that arguing with me is not the best course of action,” Aizen said, looking back down at the papers.

Gin nodded, stepping out of the office and heading toward his rooms. He packed a back and was walking out when he nearly ran into Ichigo.

“Gin?” Ichigo had said. “Where are you going?” he asked, concerned.

“Hong Kong, business,” he said, not able to look at him. He paused, reaching out and putting his hand against Ichigo’s face. “I…I’ll be back soon. Be strong, okay?”

Gin turned and left and Ichigo stood watching him leave. That was a curious thing for him to say…

-oOo-

Ichigo’s memory kicked in at this point as he stared at Gin that sat beside him. His heart began to beat in his chest harder than he thought possible. How could he have forgotten. How could he have not remembered that…that first time… He shook it away. He couldn’t remember that. He couldn’t do that yet. Instead he shook his head and pushed it back. If he remembered that…if he did…he was afraid that he really couldn’t go back to Sosuke. And he had to go back to him. He didn’t have a choice.

“Why do you care?” Ichigo asked finally, and he realized that tears were falling now. The memories were too much. “What does it matter? I’m his. He made me his. However, it happened, it doesn’t matter now. I’m his. He took everything I was, Gin. He took…he took every part of me and made me into what he wanted, you can’t deny that. You can’t.” Ichigo swallowed thickly. “You all act like there’s something wrong with me, like I can’t think for myself, but I can…I can…don’t you see? Why do you fucking care so much?”

Gin nodded, but then he reached out suddenly and put a hand against Ichigo’s face. He locked his bright blue eyes on Ichigo’s. “Ichigo, I…I care because…somewhere between holding that nine-year-old little boy sobbing in my arms, and later cleaning cuts and putting bandages on you, I figured out I might just love you.”

Ichigo stared at him wide eyed for a long moment. Gin’s hand against his face felt like fire and he had no idea what to do. Spiraling through his mind was every soft touch, every gentle hug, every single time that Gin had been there to pick him up… When Gin had been there to pick him up after Sōsuke had hurt him.

-oOo-

“Hush,” Gin whispered as he tucked Ichigo’s head under his chin. “You’ll be fine, okay?”

Ichigo was about twelve. He was holding him as they sat in Szayel’s office while he got the stuff to cast his arm. It had been a rough day for the boy and he just wanted to make it go away. Aizen had decided to teach Ichigo a lesson in manners, even though Gin knew he had done nothing wrong. He’d stood beside Aizen just like he’d been told. But today, Aizen decided that he was supposed to return to his room after his lesson instead of staying. Gin knew Aizen hadn’t said anything about changing the instructions. He had knocked him flap with a backhanded hit then dragged the boy by the arm. Gin had heard the snapping sound right before Ichigo screamed in pain.

Aizen had actually stopped and stared, because Ichigo didn’t call out in pain, not anymore anyway. Gin had come forward and told him he broke something and they should get him to Szayel. Aizen had debated, but he realized that Ichigo was too well trained to tolerate pain for it not to be serious. Ichigo hadn’t cried this much in a while, Gin thought as he rocked him as they waited.

“I shoulda listened, Gin,” he whispered as Gin held him. “I didn’t do what he said, I shoulda, Gin,” he repeated. It killed Gin that he put the blame on himself for what Aizen had done to him.

-

“Ichigo?” Gin asked as he dropped to his knees in front of the fifteen-year-old. He’d just come back from Hong Kong.

Ichigo gave him a look and tried desperately to smile. He failed. “Oh,” Gin whispered, seeing the haunted look on his face. “Come here, I’m sorry,” he whispered and pulled Ichigo into his arms and held him. Ichigo didn’t cry this time. He just held onto him. His fingers flexed on Gin’s back.

“I…I can’t leave at night,” he whispered finally to Gin. “He…he handcuffs me. I can’t…I can’t leave…”

Gin squeezed him tighter. “I know, I’m sorry. I tried to tell him not to…but…”

“He said…he said he loves me and that’s why…but…but why does he hurt me?” Gin felt like his heart was just going to dissolved.

“I don’t know, that’s just how he is. He only knows how to hurt people.” Gin couldn’t tell him that he didn’t love him. He truly thought that the boy would never be able to handle the thought that love was not the reason.

“If…if I’m good…will he be nice to me? Will he love me without hurting me?” he said in a choked voice that Gin knew was on the verge of tears. “He says…he’s going to teach me to fight…and how to run the Arrancar…he says…I’m going to be his right hand…”

Gin bit his lip because he knew that it was all a farce. He knew it wasn’t true, nothing he said was true. Gin closed his eyes.

-

“Goddammit!” Ichigo growled as he walked into the bedroom with Gin behind him.

“Ichigo, come on, sit down, let me clean you up, you’re still bleeding,” Gin said, hoping that Ichigo would listen.

“That mother fucker was the best so far,” he muttered, flopping into the chair beside the bed with a sigh. “And Sosuke just tosses him in the cages! He almost fucking beat me, Gin. You know how hard that is?” he said as Gin started cleaning the blood off his face.

“Did you leave any blood in him? Or is this all yours?” Gin asked with a sigh.

“Both,” Ichigo muttered as Gin found that the cut on his eyebrow was going to need stitches. He pulled it closed with a butterfly bandage and moved on. “I mean, except Grimmjow, I haven’t had anyone fight me to a draw. And then Sosuke fucking hits him with a tranq! What the ever loving fuck…I could have beat him, or if not, I would have lost fair,” he muttered as Gin peeled the shirt off of him.

Gin winced. He was covered in bruises, and his ribs looked particularly bruised. “Ichigo, are you in pain anywhere? Did you break anything?”

“Got no idea, Gin, still fucking high on adrenaline, you know I can’t feel shit for a while,” he muttered, glancing down at his dark ribcage. “That might hurt soon,” he muttered as he prodded at his ribs a bit.

Gin sighed. “Who was this guy anyway?”

“Some Shinigami bastard, brought him down with a bunch of his fucking lackies. I don’t know, fuck. Shinji or some shit?” he said. “Blonde bastard with a creepy ass smile. He’s also fucking fast on his feet, faster than me, really…”

Gin’s face didn’t betray his inner thoughts. That wasn’t good. Shinji Hirako was a captain of a small division that was rather covert. However, it seemed that he’d given Ichigo a run. And that was rare.

-oOo-

Ichigo shook his head and stood suddenly to walk away from him. “No,” he said. “You can’t say that. You can’t. There’s no way. You’re lying. You’re…you’re not telling me the truth. No one…no one loves me except Sosuke.”

Gin sighed and rubbed his hands over his face before he stood up. He walked up behind him and put his hands on Ichigo’s shoulders. Ichigo didn’t move but the feeling was so familiar. How many times had Gin done that? How many times had he held him? How many times had he been there? Ichigo felt tears suddenly and he spun around and stared into Gin’s vibrant eyes. What he saw there scared him, because he saw no lies. Gin’s hands went to his shoulders again and he stared into Ichigo’s eyes in return.

“Please, Ichigo, I’m not lying. Just…please. Remember that I’ve never lied to you. Never,” he said and then paused, wondering if he should just leave him like this to think. He knew he was taking a chance of getting kneed in the nuts, but he figured he wasn’t going to have this chance again. He leaned forward and put a gentle, chaste kiss against Ichigo’s lips. Ichigo’s reaction was only to widen his eyes and stare at him. “Just remember.”

Gin nodded, leaving the room. He sighed and felt the world turn inside out in his mind. Inside the room Ichigo stood staring in the place Gin had been. He crossed his arms over his body and had no idea what to do.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

“Hey, how’s it going today, sir?” Luppi asked as he came into the office at the brothel.

Barragan looked up and smiled at the young man. “Well, well enough. Things a bit in an upheaval though, with the loss of the second, Ichimaru, and Tosen. Still not sure what to make of that,” the old man said with a sigh. “I knew no good would come of him sending that boy over here like that.”

Luppi sat down across from him. “Yeah, that boy didn’t belong here. Everyone that had him beat the shit out of him, I don’t know if Aizen sent them over on purpose for that or what…”

Barragan sighed. “I wouldn’t doubt it. Aizen is sadistic to an extreme degree. He’s going to end up losing control because of it. Ichigo is a good boy, smart, strong, and really good at strategy. It is stupid for him to abuse him so. I didn’t like his idea of sending him over every month.”

“So, you still going out of town for the week today?” Luppi asked with a subtle smile.

Barragan nodded. “Yeah, got some business to take care of, personal business. You think you’re ready for this?”

Barragan had been grooming Luppi for a while now. He needed a successor. He himself had never been able to have children, and he had recognized the young man’s business acumen early on. It had been an easy choice. Even among his best, Luppi stood out. He had a way with people, especially the whores. They trusted him because he was one of them. He’d worked the brothel for a long time before Barragan had chosen him.

“I know I am, taught by the best, after all, sir,” Luppi said with a wide grin.

“Alright, keep an eye on Tesla. That bastard left bruises on him last week. I won’t have my product abused by someone, no matter what Aizen thinks. There will be no such things going on here,” he said as he leaned back in the chair. “Make sure you watch out for any of those assholes from Yammy’s crew. Yammy is not allowed in here, if he comes by, send for Choe and Nirgge. After the state he left Ichigo in, he’s not touching any of my whores.”

Luppi nodded. He really didn’t fear Yammy. Their men could handle that asshole. “Anything else I need to worry on, sir?”

Barragan thought for a while. “Just make sure that things go smooth. I’ll be back in three and a half days, but call the emergency line if there’s something you can’t handle.

Luppi nodded and headed back out. He was supposed to work the counter this morning, and when Barragan left in a few hours, Findorr would come take over. He was nervous and excited at the same time. Barragan had grown up in a Spanish crime family and been trained to do this from an early age. The only difference was Luppi had been a sex worker first. But he didn’t mind. He wanted to help Barragan as much as he could.

It was about midnight when someone came banging on the office door. Luppi looked up, wondering who that could be. He opened the door to find it was Nnoitra Gilga.

“Hey, what do you need? I’m sorry, Tesla’s spoken for tonight…” Luppi said, remembering that Tesla had been marked as occupied.

“It’s the guy that’s been hurting him, I can’t…I can’t let it go on. He was scared and…and I’m afraid…” Nnoitra looked disheveled.

“He said he was scared of him?” Luppi asked with a frown. “Why didn’t he tell me or Barragan?”

“He said it didn’t matter, he said it was fine, it was…was…” Luppi looked up as Loly came running down the hallway with a frightened look on her face.

“Luppi…something’s wrong…Tesla’s in the next room, and I heard him scream,” she said, eyes wide and frightened.

Luppi frowned and nodded. He glanced at Nnoitra. “Come on, then,” he said with a sigh as he took off down the hallway to the room that Tesla was assigned to.

Luppi knocked on the door hard. There was no answer. He growled under his breath and took out the master key and opened the door. He froze in the doorway for a split second before he got very angry.

Quilge had his hands around Tesla’s neck and it was obvious that the young man was unconscious. He was limp and his lips had turned bluish color. Tesla had a few dark bruises rising on his ribs and one on his upper arm. Quilge turned and stared at Luppi for a moment before Nnoitra was on him. Luppi let Nnoitra have him. A few minutes later, Nnoitra was sitting on the floor, Tesla cradled in his arms. Luppi knelt beside him and felt for a pulse, finding it was weak.

“He’s alive, let’s get him into another room. I’ll call Szayel,” Luppi said quietly. He looked up to see Choe dragging an unconscious Quilge out of the room.

“What should we do with him?” Choe asked as he turned back.

“You know what happens to someone that abuses our product,” Luppi said, glaring at the big man. “Same rule applies, doesn’t matter if I’m here or Barragan. Do it.”

Choe nodded. “Yes, sir,” he said and headed away.

Luppi led Nnoitra to a private bedroom and called for Szayel to come have a look at him. He hoped there was no permanent damage, but that was hard to tell at this point. He came back in and watched as Nnoitra sat by the side of the bed and petted his hair gently as he waited for him to wake. Luppi had a choice to make now. Tesla’s safety had been endangered, and from a business standpoint, having a whore that had been injured was bad for business. Not only that, Luppi couldn’t imagine sending Tesla back out. He’d be suffering for a while from this.

“Nnoitra,” Luppi said finally.

Nnoitra looked at him. “Yeah?” he said quietly.

“I’ll give you a choice,” he said thoughtfully. “I’ll help you two get out. But you can’t come back, neither of you. I can make Tesla disappear off the books, Aizen will never know. Were it up to me, there wouldn’t be a question of it. Barragan would agree. So when Szayel comes, tell him. He’ll take care of you both.”

Luppi turned and walked out as Szayel walked in. He had no idea what Nnoitra was going to choose. Luppi knew, though, that Barragan’s brothel would outlive Aizen’s reign. Aizen believed himself a king, but he didn’t know how to rule. Barragan, though, he knew how to treat his people. He knew how to make a business last a lifetime.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Ichigo sat with his knees pulled to his chest and stared at the wall. He didn’t look up when the door opened again. He knew someone was there. He didn’t care who. He cradled the cast against his chest and refused to look up when someone stood next to him. He flinched a bit when a book was dropped in front of him.

He blinked and looked to see Isshin. His father, he guessed. “What the fuck do you want?” he muttered.

“I brought this for you to look at. You don’t have to look now. I just thought you might want to see it. I love you son,” he said and then left as quietly as he came.

Ichigo stared at it. It was a photo album. He swallowed and reached out and flipped it open. The first picture was a knife to his gut. Smiling in it were the woman with brown hair, his mother, with Isshin. It was their wedding photo. They were smiling and embracing each other. He knew he should stop but he couldn’t. There were other pictures of the couple. Eating out, on the beach, then a picture of his mother with a round belly. She was smiling and Isshin stood beside her beaming. There was a birth announcement, and on it was a picture of him. Ichigo touched the announcement. Could it be fake?

His fingers ran over the slightly raised lettering, embossed seal, and the slightly yellow and faded edges. No, it was real. It was as old as he was. He went on. More baby pictures. He was being held by Isshin here, then his mother, then the strange blonde man Urahara. He saw vacations, beaches, kitchens, pictures of him as a toddler… He was easy to spot with his hair.

Then, a picture of his mother again, her belly big with the twins. She was standing holding two fingers up with a mock shocked expression on her face. Then, there they were. Two tiny babies in his mother’s arms, and he stood beside them, smiling at their tiny faces. Isshin stood behind them as his mother sat in the chair. He stared at the camera, very proud.

_“Look, Ichigo! These are your baby sisters!” Isshin said to his four-year-old son._

_“There’s two!” Ichigo exclaimed, smiling broadly. “I got two sissies to play with!”_

_Masaki smiled gently. “You did, you got two sisters. This is Karin, see, her hair is a little darker,” she said. “And this is Yuzu,” she said and glanced to the baby with the lighter hair. “Aren’t they beautiful, Ichigo?”_

_“Beautiful like mommy!” Ichigo said and smiled. “But will you still love me, Mommy?” Ichigo asked as though the thought was just occurring._

_“Oh, my little boy, I’ll always love you, always!” she said and Ichigo hugged her tightly._

Ichigo reached up and wiped a tear away that was slipping down his face. He did remember that. He…he…

He flipped the pages, watching as he and the two girls grew older. Then the last picture of him. He was sitting on his mother’s lap and Isshin was holding Yuzu. Karin was leaning on the chair Masaki was sitting in. In the background was the house they’d grown up in.

He turned the page, and realized that his mother wasn’t there, and neither was he. He watched as his sisters grew up, and Isshin grew more tired looking. Here was Karin at a soccer game. Here was Yuzu at an art show. They were graduating. They were at school. The last picture was recent. Isshin stood with an arm around each of the girls. They all smiled, but Ichigo could tell it was strained. There was a piece of their family missing, and they all knew it.

Ichigo slammed the photo album closed and picked it up. He slammed it into his forehead again and again as he tried not to scream. He didn’t succeed. He screamed and threw it across the room, hitting the curtain into the bathroom. He put his head down on his knees again and rocked as he tried to hide the tears from anyone watching.


	7. By His Touch

 

Shinji stood outside the door and sighed. He jumped when someone poked him in the ribs.

“What the fuck are you doing standing out here?” came a familiar voice.

Shinji looked over to see Hiyori. She was frowning and had her arms crossed across her chest. Her hair was done up in blond pigtails like usual, and she was tapping her foot. She’d been captured by Aizen’s men not long after he had been. He never liked to talk about that time. Especially not with her, Lisa, or Rose. All three of them had suffered the most during their time there. Granted, they had all suffered. They all had the scars to show for it; some more than others.

“It…I don’t know. I mean, I don’t know why I’m here, that’s it. I shouldn’t…” he said and started to turn away.

Hiyori grabbed his arm and pulled him back with a glare. “Don’t fucking start that shit. You know exactly why you’re here. You avoid even thinking about what happened to us there. Because of what the rest of us went through and you couldn’t stop. But Shinji, goddammit, we’ve all gotten through it. It happened. They did awful things to us. All of us. Just because those bastards took a particular liking to a few of us didn’t mean the rest of you didn’t have to endure shit.”

Shinji shook his head. “But…it…”

“Fucking shut it. Now. Don’t you put that shit on you again. You fucking did everything you could. And so what if what happened didn’t happen to you. It doesn’t matter. It did happen to him,” she said, nodding toward the doorway. “And if you want to do anything for us, for me, then you’ll do what I know you want to do. You’ll do what you said you were gonna do the day we managed to get out of that hell.”

Shinji shook his head. “It doesn’t matter anyway. That…there was nothing to it,” he said and looked away from her. He couldn’t look at her and think of what he’d had to watch her go through.

“Fuck you, you told me. You fucking told me what you wanted to do. Now, I’m not going to fucking let you walk away from this, you asshole idiot.” Hiyori punched him rather hard in the side. “So go. Fucking bastard, or I’ll goddamn lock you in there with him. You’ll either fight or fuck, either way, works. You forget I was in the fucking cell next to your dumb ass.”

She turned and stalked away leaving Shinji standing there staring after her. He hadn’t really thought much about that time. When he’d got the notification that they all needed to come in, he’d been surprised by it. He hadn’t expected for the memories to come flooding back like they had. He closed his eyes and went into the room. He’d watched the video feed from the day before when Gin and his father had come by. The sheer amount of confusion that Ichigo was going through was more than a little disturbing. But he remembered that it wasn’t much different now than it had been a couple years ago.

Ichigo looked up from where he was sitting on the bed against the wall. He didn’t move at first, just watched Shinji. “The fuck do you want again?” he asked with a sigh.

“I just wanted to check on you,” he said with a deep sigh.

Ichigo shook his head and looked down at the floor. Shinji moved up and sat down at the end of the bed. He put a hand on Ichigo’s ankle, making Ichigo flinch and look at him.

“I didn’t forget,” Shinji said with a sigh. “I didn’t, I want you to know that. I made a promise to you.”

Ichigo swallowed and crossed his arms awkwardly with the cast on the one arm. “Yeah, whatever. I forgot already what it was.”

Shinji moved his fingers lightly down Ichigo’s foot, making Ichigo twitch and pull his leg up. Shinji grinned at him. “You did, did you? Didn’t seem like it when I was in here before.”

Ichigo didn’t want to remember that. He didn’t want to remember Shinji because that had been the one and only time he doubted Sosuke. The one time that he thought that maybe, just maybe, Sosuke wasn’t who he said he was. If he remembered that, if he remembered what happened in the research lab and in those cells…

“You know if you think, Ichigo, you know that you’ll see the truth, and you don’t fucking want to see the truth, do you?” Shinji asked, purposefully moving up on the bed until he was sitting against his folded legs.

“I…I can’t…that was…” Ichigo stammered because remembering that, remembering what Sōsuke put Shinji and his people, and Ichigo, through in that lab… It had been the one thing that had shaken Ichigo’s faith in Sōsuke.

-oOo-

Ichigo had no idea why he’d been summoned to the lab. Sōsuke had said he needed to come down and help him with something. He knew that Sōsuke had been working on some experiments on some primates down there, but he honestly had no idea why he would need him. He stopped as soon as he got into the room, blinking at the lights. The Shinigami that had been held in the basement cells had been moved here. There were four makeshift cells along each side of the room. They looked to have been constructed recently. The sides were solid metal and the front had a barred gate. A small cot was built into the side, and there was a toilet and sink. It was like a little prison cell. He saw Sōsuke was standing at a table in the center and there was a metal surgical bed in near him.

“Um, Sōsuke?” he said as he walked past the cells and Mabashi, one of the security guys that he didn’t like very much.

“Ah, there you are, boy,” Sōsuke said with a smile, looking up from the tubes in front of him. Beside him Szayel and Ugaki were looking over read outs or something. “I wanted to show you what I’ve been working on. I’ve progressed to the human trials, and I want you to be a part of it.”

Ichigo frowned as he came around and looked at the tray lined up with several different colored vials and syringes. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean, you’re going to have the pleasure of being one of the very few people I trust enough to help me. So hop up on the table there,” he said with a smile.

Ichigo shook his head for a second. “Um, what…I don’t…”

“Up, now,” Sōsuke said without looking up from the syringe he was filling with something from a vial full of pale red liquid. “Or do I need to have Mabashi put you up on the table?”

“No, sir, okay…” Ichigo stammered and did as he said. He glanced up to see that the four Shinigami nearest were watching. The one Ichigo had fought to a draw, Shinji, was in the first one, then the girl with blonde pigtails. There was a guy with really long brown hair, and then a guy with an afro type hair style, but shorter by a bit.

“See, my boy, I want to make sure there is a control. You’re that control. I can trust you with the safest version of the serum I’m working on. Then I’ll test the variations on our prisoners. So, hopefully, if I’ve calculated right, this will be fairly easy for you,” he said as he grabbed Ichigo’s arm and injected him with the liquid.

Ichigo shook his head because he suddenly felt dizzy. He realized that Sōsuke was strapping his ankles and wrists into the restraints on the table. His tongue went dull and numb and he felt like he was falling through the table. Vaguely he heard Sōsuke’s voice outside of him.

“Subject Zero is showing expected vertigo effects. Onset of expected seizure activity anticipated within fifteen minutes post injection. Anticipated stripping of some of the myelin sheaths should occur concurrently.”

Ichigo felt the world spin and he screamed as something that felt like fire shot through his spine and into his head. He didn’t know what it was, he didn’t care. He just wanted to make it stop. Everything was on fire and he couldn’t think for the pain. He felt everything blank out for a long time. He woke up sometime after Sōsuke had left. Szayel was standing over him.

“Oh, good, damn,” Szayel said with a relieved grin. “I was afraid he killed you,” he said as he stared to undo the restraints on his wrists and ankles. 

“Wh…what…” he tried to say and he reached up to wipe something wet off his neck. His hand came away bloody.

“Hang on, I’ve got to clean you up, there was a lot more blood than I expected,” he said, turning and running a cloth over Ichigo’s cheeks and around his ears.

“I don’t…understand…what he…” he said sluggishly.

“Yeah, don’t talk. You’re going to be a few days out of it. It’s quite innovative, but I wouldn’t have gone to human trials so quickly…” he muttered as he helped Ichigo sit up.

Ichigo slid off the table and crumpled to the floor immediately. “Oh, dear,” he said and looked over at Mabashi. “Can you take him to his room?” he asked with a frown. “I don’t think he can walk.”

Mabashi came over and shook his head. “What’s in it for me, doctor?”

“Whatever you like,” Sōsuke said with a smile as he came in and grabbed Ichigo under his arm and hauled him up. “Look at me,” he said.

Ichigo turned his eyes on him as well as he could. Sōsuke nodded. “Interesting. The reaction isn’t complete though. I’ll have to give him a second dose of the serum. I was hoping one would be enough. Did you and Ugaki finish the test implant?”

Szayel nodded. “Um, yes, but I don’t think that using such an experimental…”

“He’ll be fine. Set up for tomorrow morning. I’ll do the second round of serum with him, then begin the trials with subjects one and two. While I wait for the reactions to catalyze, we’ll work on the implant for Ichigo. If it is successful, we’ll know within hours,” Sōsuke said and tossed Ichigo toward Mabashi. Mabashi caught him easily and Ichigo slumped in his grip. His feet simply didn’t want to work. It was like his muscles weren’t responding to his signals to them.

“You’re free to entertain yourself with him if you like. I’d rather you not fuck any of the other subjects yet. I’d hate to jeopardize the tests before they start. Make sure he ends up in our room by morning. He needs sleep before the second round of testing.” Sōsuke nodded and left.

Mabashi grinned at Szayel. “Unless you wanna join or watch, freak, get the fuck out of here.”

Szayel nodded, ducking his head and leaving quickly. He wanted to do neither of those things, and he honestly would have rather Sōsuke not let other people have the boy so easily.

Ichigo, despite the haze, yelped as he was slammed a few moments later into the wall. His head bounced and he stared at Mabashi for a moment and wondered exactly what he was doing. He didn’t wait long to find out. He couldn’t even move and he wondered if Mabashi cared. It took longer than Ichigo wanted it to, but Mabashi dropped him down the wall after he was finished. He grinned and slapped Ichigo’s face.

“Hmm, I’ll be back, Jin was gonna have a go at you. He’s never fucked a boy before. I keep telling him he’s not a fag if he does it, I mean, really, what’s it matter, right?” he said as he left.

Ichigo sat there and couldn’t even get his arms to move. What the hell had Sōsuke done to him? He didn’t know, but he didn’t like it.

“Hey,” came a voice next to him. He recognized it somewhat. “Ichigo! Are you okay?”

Ichigo shook his head. “Dunno…dunno…” he muttered. “Can’t…move much…” he said. “Don’t know what the hell…is goin’ on…”

“Can you move at all?” the voice, the guy he fought he thought.

“Hmm, yeah,” he muttered and managed to get to his hands and knees without falling. He was finally getting some response to his brain’s signals. He collapsed when he got to the edge of the cell he’d been beside.

He turned his head and stared into the cell blearily. “That didn’t go as well as I wanted…” he muttered.

Shinji knelt down and reached out through the bars and lifted Ichigo’s eyelid. “What the hell…” he muttered.

“It’s blood,” came Szayel’s voice as he came back into the room. “The black? It’s blood, burst capillaries and vessels in the sclera of the eyes. I don’t know why it’s black, maybe the concentration. I don’t know how long it will last. But Aizen was looking for it, that’s what isn’t complete.”

Szayel knelt down and checked Ichigo’s pulse. Faster than normal, he guessed, but that was to be expected. “Okay, well, I’m going to get him to his room before Jin gets here. He doesn’t need to be…have…” Szayel shook his head. “Ichigo, why do you do this…” he whispered as he picked him up and sat him against the wall of the cell.

“I do what Sōsuke asks…” Ichigo muttered. “He told him he could…so he could.”

Shinji frowned and looked at Szayel who was coming back with a sheet in his hands. “Ichigo, I don’t know why, though. You could just have told him no. You could have walked away and not let him do this to you, why?”

“Sōsuke needs my help,” Ichigo said as Szayel wrapped the sheet around him and pulled him to stand up. “It’s fine, I’m getting feeling back, it’s okay…”

Szayel sighed and led him stumbling out of the lab.

-oOo-

Ichigo shook his head and looked away from Shinji. “It did help him,” he said quietly. “And it wasn’t that bad. I mean…”

“It wasn’t that bad?” Shinji said with a glare. “Your supposed lover put you in there and tortured you with us, he let you very nearly die. He put you there and he left you. He made you stay there. He didn’t need you. He wanted to see how far he could push you. Then he put those two bastards as guards. He knew what they would do. Ichigo, those two men raped Hiyori, Rose, and Lisa. Multiple times. And you.”

“They did not do anything to me!” Ichigo said with a frown. “I agreed to everything that happened then.”

“No you fucking didn’t!” Shinji nearly yelled. “You were fucking almost unconscious several times, and half the time you asked them to stop!”

Ichigo looked away from him. “It doesn’t matter. It kept them happy and…and they left the others alone if I did it.”

That statement hit Shinji hard. He started to understand now. Ichigo had incited them several times. He’d done that more than once while they were down there. “Ichigo,” he said quietly. “You…you…” he started but he didn’t know how to finish it.

-oOo-

The implants that Aizen was working on were made to release varying amounts of hormones into the body as well as administer electric impulses to the brain to create specific neurotransmitters. The serums were designed to make the body chemistry and the nerves susceptible to the implants’ desired effects. That meant that the actual nerves had to be stripped of the myelin sheaths initially, and then the implants would kick in and stimulate new production of the sheaths on the nerves. This was, up until now, impossible. But Aizen was working with combinations of animal, plant, and human DNA to create the various effects. There were side effects from them, of course. Most of the side effects were neurological in nature. The main side effect was the bleeding of eyes, nose, and ears. The blood discolored the sclera of the eyes and made it look nearly black.

After all of the subjects had been given the serums and implants, Sōsuke had said that there needed to be a two-month recuperation period. And in that time, none of them were to leave the lab. Ichigo was told he had to stay there as well, but he was at least allowed to have the room that was attached to the lab to stay in.

At first, Ichigo and Shinji wound up talking about random things. Shinji hadn’t been sure what to think about with Ichigo. He tried to be whatever he was expected to be. When Aizen came into the lab, he was at his side in moments, no matter his condition. He’d ask Sōsuke every time if he could leave and he was told no every time. Shinji saw it. Ichigo would look on Aizen with complete adoration, and he would never fail to put him down before he left him.

“What do you do for fun?” Shinji asked one day sitting with his back to the bars. Ichigo had sat down with his back to the bars from the outside.

“I don’t know. I mean, I train a lot. I like to read when I can,” he said with a sigh as he stared at the ceiling.

Shinji nodded. “What do you read?”

“Um, well, I…” he trailed off.

Shinji turned around and smirked. He was blushing. “Oh, I see. You like to read dirty things.”

Ichigo turned and glared at him. He shook his head. “No, that’s not it. Um, I like romance stories, okay?”

“With smutty scenes?” Shinji said smirking.

“Sometimes,” he said and bit his lip hard.

Shinji turned around and knelt by the bars. “What kind of smutty stories?”

Ichigo glanced away, a deeper color rising to his cheeks than before. “I don’t know, different ones.”

“I think…maybe you like to read about gay boys like us fucking,” he said with a cock eyed grin.

Ichigo’s eyes went wide. “What…I mean…you’re…um…too?” he said in a low whisper.

Shinji snorted. “Yes, Ichigo. Why is that so odd?”

“No one says they are,” Ichigo said with a sigh. “Sosuke says he’s not gay. He says that…that he’s normal.”

“That’s fucking stupid. If he’s fucking you, he’s fucking gay or bi or something. You don’t fuck guys and not be somewhat gay,” Shinji said with a huff.

Ichigo’s face colored again. “He says…I’m different. That its different.”

Shinji wanted to tell him of course it was different. Sosuke Aizen slept with him because he wanted power over him, not because of any other reason. But he knew Ichigo wouldn’t listen.

“Whatever, he’s just like the rest of us. Now, what do you like in those smutty stories?” he asked, trying to divert Ichigo off the subject of Sosuke Aizen.

Ichigo started talking with him most days. He’d talk to the others sometimes, but for the most part, he came to Shinji. He’d tell him about something he’d thought of. He’d talk about the books he was reading. Sometimes he’d whisper details about one of the more erotic things he was reading to Shinji so the others couldn’t hear him. He never failed to blush bright red, though, and Shinji found his heart aching at the thought of how he was treated.

He was talking about how he’d ended up getting into a fight with some idiot from another group. The guy had said he was going to kill Aizen and drawn a gun. Ichigo had him down in minutes, gun disassembled on the floor. He was telling Shinji how the guy was screaming at him the entire time and yelling about being whipped by a “fairy faggot”.

“Fairy faggot!” Ichigo said with a growl. “Can you believe that? After a few days before he took Sōsuke up on fucking _me_. So how the fuck does he get off calling me that?”

“Ichigo, why do you let him do that?” Shinji said as he reached through the bars and took Ichigo’s hand suddenly.

Ichigo stared at his hand for a moment. “Do what?”

“Make you let these people fuck you like that,” he said after a moment. Shinji held onto his hand though.

Ichigo shook his head. “He doesn’t make me. You fought me. I could beat the shit out of any of them. So there’s no making me do anything.”

“That’s not true, Ichigo,” Shinji said and interlaced his long fingers between Ichigo’s. Ichigo stared at his hand there and then looked up at Shinji. “He tells you to let them do it. You do it because he says so. What’s the difference when it just is a matter of you thinking you’re choosing to do it? You aren’t.”

Ichigo shook his head and tried to pull his hand away. Shinji held it and pulled it through the bars further. Ichigo didn’t really resist, just watched curiously. Shinji put his lips on the back of his hand and then looked up at him. “You don’t have to.”

Ichigo looked away but didn’t move. Shinji felt his hand trembling even though it was obvious he was trying not to. He swallowed and they sat there for a long moment. After that, now and then, Shinji would reach for him. Ichigo would never reach for Shinji, but he never stopped Shinji from touching him. Shinji didn’t know what to do, other than show him that he wasn’t going to do anything to hurt him. Every time that Aizen came in, and Ichigo would show such love on his face, it broke Shinji’s heart a little bit. Then, of course, there were their tormentors that appeared in the guise of “guards”.

Mabashi and Jin were the guards on the lab. Both of them had decided that they wanted to take advantage of their prisoners while they were helpless. They both took particular glee in going after Hiyori because of her small statue, and Lisa because they knew she was a lesbian. Rose, of course, was targeted because of his feminine nature. The others they left alone…for the most part. Shinji refused to consider what happened to him to be anywhere near as bad as what happened to the others…

“Goddammit,” Shinji yelled as Mabashi moved to unlock Hiyori’s cell. He had that look on his face. “Leave her alone!” he wanted to get out and beat the living shit out of the man. But he couldn’t even stand up for long, let alone go after him.

“Mabashi,” Ichigo had called from where he sat on the other side of the lab. “Leave the girl alone, she’s not even conscious,” he said, sighing.

Mabashi turned and leered at Ichigo. “Well, you’re not, are you?”

Ichigo sighed and shook his head. “Look, fucking go find someone that wants to fuck you. Maybe you and Jin should shack up and take turns fucking each other as much as you two like…”

Ichigo hadn’t finished his sentence because Mabashi was on him, hands around his neck and grinning at him. “You little fucking faggot slut,” he growled at him. “Don’t you fucking talk to me like that. I will…”

Ichigo grinned at him. “You’ll what? You’ll kill me? No you fucking won’t. I belong to Sōsuke. And no matter what you think, you don’t take something that belongs to Sōsuke Aizen. So go ahead, and I bet you won’t live long enough to regret it.”

Mabashi growled and backhanded him as he stood back. “You little fuck…” he muttered and grabbed him by the arm and drug him toward the other room. “I’ll fucking…”

Shinji lost his words then. He was shaking though as he held onto the bars. How could anyone choose to go through this…he didn’t understand…

-oOo-

Shinji understood now. He felt tears in his eyes before he could stop them. He smiled and looked at Ichigo. “Thank you, you know. For what you did for them,” he said finally. “I never said thank you. I don’t think I realized what you were doing until right now.”

“I didn’t do anything for anyone,” Ichigo said with a frown as he avoided Shinji’s look.

“You did. You put yourself between those two and my people more than once. I understand now,” Shinji said and put a hand on one of Ichigo’s knees. Ichigo stared at his hand.

“I remember the times we talked,” Shinji said quietly.

“I don’t,” Ichigo said but his gaze didn’t leave Shinji’s hand. He did, vividly, though. He couldn’t forget the times and the things that they’d talked about. He couldn’t forget it. Not now that he was sitting next to him and touching him again. Ichigo wanted to slap his hand away so he didn’t have to remember. He’d put always that time in a tiny little box and shoved it far away from him. He just wanted to forget those things. He wanted to forget the pain and how much it hurt when Shinji and the others had escaped. He’d felt hollow for a long time and it had taken a month or more for him to fall back into his role with Sōsuke. Of course, he’d had no choice but to resume things with Sōsuke as if they hadn’t changed.

But they had changed. Everything had changed. And now, here, Shinji was forcing him to remember.

-oOo-

Ichigo made his way carefully toward the cage with Shinji in it. He was feeling weird and he needed to touch base with reality. It was hard but he had to do it. He felt like his head was on fire and freezing at the same time. He didn’t realize he was crawling by the time he got there.

“Hey!” came the voice from the cage. Ichigo look up to see Shinji staring at him with the weird looking eyes from the tests. The black sclera would fade into deep red now and then, but then whatever the implants did would trigger it again.

“Shinji,” he said and smiled at him as he collapsed on his side. “I don’t feel so good.”

“Of course not, he’s spent more time on you than the rest of us and you’re fucking his second in command and supposed to be his fucking lover,” Shinji said, kneeling down and reaching through the bars to put his hand on Ichigo’s sweaty forehead.

“I am, but…but he trusts me with this…” he said, eyes watering.

“Fuck that, Ichigo, look at what he’s doing! He’s fucking experimenting on you just like us! And we’re fucking prisoners! Does that make any damn sense?” Shinji asked. He was torn between feeling sorry for Ichigo and wanting to smack him.

Ichigo looked at Shinji for a long time before he closed his e yes. “I know,” he finally whispered. “Don’t you think I know that? I…can’t…I don’t know what to do. I love him so much it hurts and it doesn’t matter what he does. I can’t stop that.”

Shinji sighed, but left his hand on Ichigo’s head. He ran his fingers through Ichigo’s hair for a moment. He wanted Sōsuke’s love so badly, and Shinji could tell that easily. His heart ached for him.

“Ichigo, how long have you been here?” Shinji whispered softly.

Ichigo swallowed thickly. “I was nine,” he said in a flat voice. “He…he…he…took me as his when I was fifteen.”

Shinji’s eyes went wide and he sighed. “He took you, honey,” he said gently. “You didn’t give yourself to him. Listen to your own words.”

“I…I wanted to, I did, I did, I know I did,” he said and Shinji saw that he didn’t want what happened.

Shinji looked up to see the door open and close. He hoped it wasn’t the two guards. Instead he locked eyes on Gin Ichimaru. He glanced around the room and moved quickly over where Ichigo had laid down.

“Ichigo!” he said as he came over and rolled him to his back. Shinji frowned and watched Gin carefully. Gin was a traitor. Gin…Gin wasn’t even looking at Shinji.

“Oh, Gin, where you been?” Ichigo asked as he looked up at Gin’s brilliant blue eyes.

“What the hell is he doing…” Gin breathed. “What did he do, Ichi? What is he thinking?”

Ichigo smiled at Gin. “Just something he’s working on. I’m okay, ‘kay?”

“You aren’t!” Gin exclaimed and for the first time since he’d known about what Gin had done, he wondered if he was wrong about him. “Ichigo, you aren’t,” he repeated and ran a hand over Ichigo’s head. “You look terrible. Your eyes…”

Ichigo shrugged weakly. “It’s just discolored for now. It will go away. He’s doing the same to the others, so it isn’t just me…”

Gin looked up into the cage for the first time and realized that Shinji was staring at him, his eyes also discolored. “Shinji,” he muttered and glanced down and realized that all of Shinji’s people were there. “What…what the hell does he think he’s doing?” he said.

“Why do you care?” came Hiyori’s voice from the next cell. Gin looked at her.

“I…I…” Gin wanted to say more, Shinji could tell that but he looked down at Ichigo. “Ichi, why are you letting him do this?”

“I have to help him, Gin,” he said with a trembling smile. “He asked me to…”

“Goddammit, Ichigo! He didn’t ask you, he fucking told you to let him put this shit in you! He didn’t fucking ask you!” Shinji exploded. He seriously wanted to slap him so badly.

Ichigo looked away. “I will do whatever he wants me to do, I have to…he…he…I love him, and I need to help him,” he said as his eyes fluttered closed again. “Can…can you take me to the bed? I don’t feel too well…” he said.

Gin sighed and gathered Ichigo up in his arms with a lot more care than Shinji expected. He disappeared with him into the room and then reemerged. Shinji swore that he looked like he was crying. He turned and looked at Shinji and around at the others. “I…I’m sorry….”

He left quickly, and Shinji was left wondering exactly what he had just seen.

“What…did we just see?” Kensei said from his cell.

Shinji shook his head. “I don’t know,” he said with a sigh.

Another couple weeks passed with nothing that changed their situation in the lab happening. Ichigo slowly came out less and less and Shinji worried about what was going on. Mabashi and Jin had stopped their games, and Shinji guess they had simply got bored with them. They verbally taunted them, and then they would disappear again to torment Ichigo. Shinji knew Ichigo had done something to convince them not to bother them. It was a slow thing, but the coloring had started to return to normal in their eyes. The implants, though, seemed to be an issue.

Aizen stood over Lisa’s inert form and appeared annoyed. “Szayel, we’ll have to remove the implants. The body is not able to accept the material they are made out of in the long term. Proceed to remove them from subjects one through eight, he said, stepping away from the table where Lisa was being prepped for the procedure by Ugaki.

“And Subject Zero?” Szayel asked with some concern.

“Leave his for now. He can handle the side effects longer than these others. The serum I gave him was much more powerful than the others,” he said and headed out of the room.

Shinji saw the look Szayel had on his face. It took the rest of the day before they had all had the implants removed. They had all been implanted in the shoulder in the hollow area. Luckily, Shinji realized that Szayel was doing his best to make it painless. Shinji watched Ugaki leave after a few minutes after they had been put back in their cells. He watched as Szayel went to the room where Ichigo was at. He came out with Ichigo, arm slung around him as he stumbled beside him. He got to the cell where Shinji was.

“Szay, please…what…what are you…” Ichigo muttered and when he looked up Shinji gasped.

“Fuck,” Shinji said. “What the fuck?”

Szayel looked at Shinji. “He’s not stopping, he’s gonna die like this,” Szayel said. He looked at Ichigo. “Ichigo, can you hear me?”

“Yeah, what…is it?” he muttered.

“I need your help. We have to get these people away because they’re going to be disposed of now that he’s done. He needs to dissect their brains to see what went wrong…please…” Szayel said quietly to him.

Ichigo turned and looked at Szayel with blood dripping now from the corners of his eyes. “But…why…they don’t have to die…he can…but…” he stammered and looked over at Shinji who just stared.

Szayel swallowed hard and sighed. “He’s going to do it Ichigo. I need you to do one thing, and if we get caught I’ll tell Sōsuke that I knocked you out. You need to open the passageway for me.”

Ichigo nodded slowly. “Yeah, I…I can…”

“Good, here, I’ll sit you down while I open the cells,” he said as he lowered Ichigo down to the floor.

He moved around and unlocked all eight of the cells and stopped, glancing over at Ichigo. He looked back at Shinji. “If…if you can convince him to go with you…” he said quietly.

Shinji nodded went over where Ichigo sat staring at the floor. He was seemingly staring at a few drops of blood that had slipped down his face onto the floor. He knelt down and lifted Ichigo’s face and looked at him. Ichigo’s eyes were cloudy, some sort of film covering them.

“Ichigo, come with me,” he said in a near whisper.

“I can’t,” he responded. “I have to stay with Sōsuke,” he said but Shinji caught the hesitation. “No one else wants me.”

Shinji wanted to say something inspiring and amazing to convince him. But instead, his eyes started to tear up. “I do,” Shinji said and thumbed the blood from his cheeks. “I will take you and I can show you that this is so very wrong. I want you to come with us. He won’t find us, and I can take you somewhere he’ll never get to you again. Please. Just come with me.”

Ichigo stared at him for a long moment and shook his head. “I…I can’t…I just…how can I…I can’t…”

Shinji dropped his head and took a deep breath. “Please.”

Szayel came back and reached down to help Ichigo up. “Come on, we haven’t much time. I ran the cameras back on a loop. He has to use the palm scanner to open the hatch.”

Shinji and Szayel led Ichigo to the back of the lab. Ichigo blinked and lifted a shaking hand to the palm reader. The door beeped and a hatch in the wall slid open. It led into a passageway that led out of the compound. Shinji got the others through and looked at Ichigo.

“Come with me.”

Ichigo closed his eyes. “I can’t.”

Shinji couldn’t make him. “If…if you ever want to find me…I’ll help you.”

“I won’t leave,” Ichigo said with a sigh. “I can’t.”

Shinji nodded and almost moved to leave. He paused and moved back and took Ichigo’s face in his hands for a second and kissed his forehead gently. He sighed and took off. They didn’t have much time. He looked back and he felt like he should go take him by force…the hatch dropped closed, though. Hiyori grabbed his hand and looked up at him. 

“We have to go.”

-oOo-

Ichigo was shaking by the time Shinji finished talking about it. He didn’t want to remember. He didn’t want to think about the one time he almost left Sōsuke. He didn’t want to even come close to remembering that feeling at the doorway, clinging to Szayel just so he could remain standing, and watching Shinji leave. He didn’t want the memory of Szayel holding him as he sobbed about how confused he was. He didn’t want this. So he rolled off the bed and landed a hard kick to the back of Shinji’s head.

“Goddammit! Stop it! Stop it, I don’t want this!” he screamed as he moved away from the bed while Shinji recovered his sense.

Shinji stood up and went to him. Ichigo lashed out again, connecting with his face at least four times before he had pushed him against the wall and pinned both his arms above his head. He was careful to hold the cast arm carefully. Shinji felt blood dripping from his mouth and nose but it didn’t matter. He pressed up against Ichigo, pinning him there until he stopped struggling against him. He felt his breath against him heaving.

“Just stop,” he finally sobbed and Shinji let his hands go. He put his arms around him and held onto him.

“I can’t, I can’t stop, I can’t. I should have gone back. I should have taken you with us. I knew it then, and I know it more now than ever. I shouldn’t have let you stay, Ichigo. I shouldn’t have,” he said as he felt Ichigo start to cling to him.

Ichigo’s head was spinning. “I don’t…want to remember…” he whispered against Shinji’s shoulder.

“I know, Ichigo, I know, but please. I’m begging you to fight this hold he has on you. I know how hard it must be,” he said as he stepped back and moved his hands to his face.

“You don’t know,” Ichigo said and Shinji knew he’d never know what Ichigo was going through. “I…I’m not good for anyone…I’m not worth anything to anyone but Sōsuke,” he whispered and stared into Shinji’s eyes.

“You are good for someone, and you are worth a whole lot to some people. To me. To Gin. To your family. You are nothing to Sōsuke, Ichigo. He never has loved you, you know that, somewhere deep inside you, you know that,” Shinji said softly.

“He does,” Ichigo said, but his voice had a pleading tone. “He does.”

“I know,” Shinji said, sighing. He wiped the tears away from his cheeks. “I know you believe that with everything you are. And I wish I knew how to make you see the truth.”

Ichigo turned his head away and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to listen to Shinji. He couldn’t listen to this. Sōsuke was everything to him. So what if he’d lied about his parents. It didn’t matter, no really. He’d taken him in and trained him like his own family. And then, it didn’t matter if he’d forced him to sleep with him. That didn’t matter either. Ichigo had fallen in love with him anyway, and he forgave him for everything. It didn’t matter if he’d used him for his experiments. He did it because he wanted Ichigo to benefit from the things he was doing. That was it. That was why.

But all of the carefully crafted walls were tumbling down. He didn’t know what to do. Shinji leaned forward and place a kiss on his forehead and everything from that time clarified in his mind vividly. Shinji moved away and he slid down the wall to the floor and just stared for a long time at nothing. When he looked up, Shinji was gone and he didn’t even know when he left.


	8. By His Kiss

Ichigo didn’t know what to do anymore. He sat in the blank room with his head in his hands again. He couldn’t come up with a good way to get out of here. They knew that he would try to run back to Sōsuke, that’s why they kept coming in here and telling him all these things to make him think Sōsuke was a bad guy.

He was a bad guy, Ichigo had never thought he was a good guy. For fuck’s sake, he ran prostitution, drug trafficking, sex trafficking, gun running…he was a criminal. And he knew this. He always knew that he was a bad person. How could he be anything but with what he did?

But that’s not what they were talking about. They wanted him to believe that Sōsuke didn’t love him. They wanted him to think that Sōsuke had taken advantage of him. They wanted him to believe that he’d lied to him about everything.

Ichigo wasn’t stupid. He knew that what he remembered about his mother’s death was true. He remembered her now that he sat here and thought on it, after he’d seen the pictures. He knew it beyond a doubt. He knew that Sōsuke had experimented on him and caused him horrific pain. He knew that too. He knew Sōsuke had sent him to Barragan’s and forgotten him. He knew that as sure as the presence of the ache in his heart at this moment. But it didn’t matter. He wanted Sōsuke. He wanted him no matter how many times he hit him. He wanted him no matter how many times he had other people fuck him. He wanted him even though he’d lied to him about everything. He couldn’t stop wanting him. Every horrible thing he’d done, Ichigo knew was true. But he couldn’t just leave him. He couldn’t. He loved Sōsuke, even if Sōsuke never did feel the same way about him.

Ichigo ran his hands over his hair and stood up. They’d taken off the cast on his arm and now he had a brace of a type. He headed into the bathroom and showered again and came out. If there had been a mirror, he might have noticed something, but there was none. He felt like something was odd because there was a shooting pain in his shoulder. He rubbed it without thinking. His fingers rubbed the scarring there. He didn’t know why it would be hurting. He guessed it was because he’d been thinking about the damned experiments. He looked up to see the door open and saw it was Shinji again.

“What do you want now?” he said, sighing at him.

“I wanted to see if you wanted to get out of this room for a while. You’ve been here almost four weeks now, so we thought you might like to walk around and see something besides these four walls,” he said, shrugging and stuffing his hands in his jean pockets.

“You’re going to let me out and trust me not to try and get out?” Ichigo asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Shinji rolled his eyes. “You can’t get out, there’s no way. This place is impenetrable from the outside, and you definitely can’t get out.”

“We’ll see about that,” he muttered as he followed Shinji out into the corridor.

They came out and he turned and saw the camera above the door. “So you guys watch all the time, eh?” he muttered.

“Have to,” Shinji said as he walked away.

“Wait a minute, where are you going?” he said and went to catch up to him.

“Just this way,” Shinji said with a sideways smirk.

Ichigo frowned, looking around and not seeing anyone else. It was just a maze of corridors. Shinji just kept walking ahead until he walked through a door. Ichigo followed and drew a deep breath as soon as he came out into a beautiful night blooming garden. He looked around and up where the stars were brilliant. They were up high, he could tell. He saw that the building surrounded the garden on all four sides, with four doors leading into it. The buildings extended up on each side by at least four floors. There would be no escaping from here.

“I thought you’d like this,” he said and turned to look at him. “You said you loved Moon Flowers. When they built this last year, I suggested a night garden. Some of the others thought it was stupid, but I insisted. I said that anyone could have a regular garden,” Shinji said and reached up and plucked a bloom from a dragon fruit.

Ichigo walked down the path and ran his hands over the planters full of night gladiolus, and then two large containers full of white Casablanca lilies. He hadn’t seen this many night plants since…since… He knelt down by the moonflowers that lined the sides of the path and plucked one and held it in his hands.

“She liked them,” he said as he stared at the white flower. “I remember that. She said…she said that the night sometimes showed the world hidden beauty. These plain, simple plants that would simply be ignored in the daylight hours, and at night they become beautiful and a secret only those in the dark can keep…” Ichigo said as he stood up and looked around at some of the others.

Pink Four O’clock lined one of the other paths, and there was a small pond at the end of it. He held the moonflower and looked and saw several night blooming water lilies floating in the pond. The sound of crickets was loud in the otherwise silent area. He turned and saw a large growth of evening primrose, the bright yellow flowers reflecting the moonlight and making them shine. Ichigo found himself smiling as he moved down another path and found a beautiful crop of Brahma Kamal, their white blooms so lovely in the moonlight. Along the last path there were huge crops of night blooming jasmine.

Shinji smiled to himself. If nothing else, Ichigo could have a moment of tenderness in this small place. He followed Ichigo to where there was an arch covered in vines over a seat. Ichigo sat down and looked at the moonflower he held. Shinji sat down beside him, still holding the dragon fruit bloom. He turned and tucked the bloom behind Ichigo’s ear. Ichigo turned and looked at him with a slight surprise.

“Why?” Ichigo asked as he twirled the flower in his fingers. He didn’t move to take the other one off.

“Because I lost a lot when Aizen got hold of me and the others. You can’t understand the guilt I lived, still live, with. I was their captain. I was supposed to keep them safe. And I couldn’t. I sat in a cage and I watched as those two men brutalized three of my people, and three of my friends. I…I couldn’t do anything, and I just wanted to do anything to stop them,” Shinji said solemnly. “And I watched you, and you stepped in between those two and my people. So many times, Ichigo, you sacrificed yourself for them, when I couldn’t.”

Ichigo didn’t agree, but he didn’t dismiss it either. He swallowed thickly. “They didn’t deserve what they did. You didn’t either,” he said softly, speaking to the flower instead of Shinji.

“What happened to me was nothing,” Shinji said quietly.

“But it was! They…they may not have done what they did to the others, but they made you do things. They made you all do things,” he said in response. “You can’t say it was nothing, because I saw how hard it was for you to act like you were okay when Mabashi forced you to suck him off. It wasn’t like you could stop him, you couldn’t even move from the pain, and he said he was going to Hiyori if you didn’t…” he said softly. “You didn’t think I heard what you said, but I did. And I know that wasn’t all. Just because they never actually fucked you and the others, it doesn’t mean it was nothing, because it was.”

Shinji sighed deeply because Ichigo was so frustrating. “You’re the biggest hypocrite I know, lecturing me on this. You do worse to yourself, Ichi, you do. You were used so much worse than we ever were.”

Ichigo looked up at the quarter moon. “I…I know that,” he finally said softly. “You all…you think I’m delusional, you don’t understand… I know what he does isn’t right. I know that. But I still ache for him. I ache for him to touch me, even if it’s to hurt me. I’m fucked up, Shinji, just let me go back to him and maybe one day, one of these assholes will kill me. Then I won’t have to worry anyone again.”

Shinji moved and grabbed Ichigo’s face and pressed his forehead to Ichigo’s. “Stop this,” he whispered, nose almost touching with Ichigo’s. Ichigo’s eyes were wide with surprise. “Don’t say things like that. You…you are not fucked up, no more than anyone else around this fucking place. We’re all damaged and fucked up. And you…you are one of the strongest people I know, Ichigo. And I don’t want you to go back to him.”

“Why not?” he asked. Shinji saw the questions in those wide brown eyes. He swallowed hard against the ball in his throat. “Why would anyone except Sōsuke want me?”

“I want you,” Shinji finally said as he reached his hand up and stroked it down Ichigo’s face without moving his head at all. “I do. I did from the first day I fought with you, Ichigo. I knew for sure when we were in that awful experiment lab. And then when I saw you again, I regretted leaving that place without you more than I can explain.”

Ichigo wanted to pull away. He wanted to run. He wanted to deny the rising feeling inside his chest, and the speeding up of his breath. He wanted to do anything except what he was about to do. He leaned forward and closed his eyes when his lips brushed against Shinji’s. He didn’t wait long for a response, though, because as soon as he moved back, Shinji’s hand went into his hair and tugged him in for a real kiss. Ichigo almost pulled away but it felt…nice…

Shinji’s tongue danced over his lip in a way that Sōsuke’s never did. Ichigo gasped a bit when Shinji’s free hand slipped between his thighs and Shinji took the chance to slide his tongue into his mouth. Ichigo was leaning back on the seat more and more until he felt the metal arm in his back, but he didn’t care as Shinji’s mouth moved to his throat, sucking and nipping at his Adam’s apple. He whined, wondering if this is what this was supposed to feel like…

Shinji’s hand had stopped touching his leg and slipped inside the scrubs that they’d put him in. Shinji’s fingers danced along his length and he felt him move to slide a leg between Ichigo’s. He was clinging to Shinji’s shoulders as he continued to do things to him that set fire to every sense he had. He was panting and wanting him to go on. He felt Shinji’s hand still as it slid down between his legs further.

“What…what are you stopping for…” he gasped at him as Shinji sat back and looked at him for a second.

“Are you sure you want me to keep going?” he asked, his eyes searching Ichigo’s face for any sign that he wanted him to stop.

“Shinji, what…yes!” he growled and reached up and grabbed Shinji by the hair, pulling him down into another fiercer kiss. “Fuck…yes…I want…I want to feel you…I want to know for sure…” he gasped out as Shinji’s hand slid under him and his fingers began rubbing his entrance. He wasn’t sure what to think but he spread his legs out so he could have more room. “Just…show me…”

Shinji thought he understood. He slipped his middle finger into him and felt him arch under the touch. He continued to kiss and bit his neck for a moment before he reached his other hand under his t-shirt and slid it up enough that he could suck on one of his nipples. Ichigo’s body tightened around his finger where it was seated inside and he slipped a second one in, twisting them and seeking that tiny little…there.

Ichigo’s eyes went wide and he arched a little. “Ah, what…what did you do…that feels…feels…so good…” he gasped out finally as he threw his one leg over the back of the bench they were half sitting, half lying on.

Shinji smiled against his chest and bit lightly at the rosy bud. “Hmm, something that feels nice,” he muttered as he stroked the spongy feeling spot. He continued until he felt Ichigo’s body starting to spasm against his fingers. He would edge him a bit before he finished, he thought.

“Hmm, no, no,” Shinji whispered. “You don’t get off that easy. I’ve waited a couple years to do this…I’m going to enjoy it, and so are you,” he breathed onto the damp skin of his nipple as his hand slid down and grasped Ichigo at the base to stave off any orgasm that was sneaking up on him.

Ichigo whined then, grabbing Shinji by both arms and grinding back on Shinji’s hand. “What…please…” he muttered out as Shinji slipped a third finger into him and twisted his fingers toward that spot again. This time, he mercilessly stroked and pressed into it while he held Ichigo’s cock to keep him from going over. Every time he pressed into his sweet spot he’d make a strange, strangled moan in his throat and squeeze Shinji’s shoulders with his hands.

Of course, Shinji knew that Ichigo would never stay passive in any situation like this. Shinji gasped as he was pushed up and he found Ichigo sliding up onto his lap. Shinji slid his hands under his legs and slipped his fingers back into him. He thought for sure that Ichigo was going to lose his mind if he kept this teasing up.

“I don’t…have anything…” Shinji gasped out. He had honestly not brought him out here with the intention of fucking him. It just kind of happened.

“S’okay,” Ichigo panted pulling Shinji’s hand away. He reached down and unbuttoned Shinji’s jeans and reached down to pull him free. Ichigo wasn’t disappointed with him, and he nodded as he stroked his hand down him a few times. He was dripping with pre cum, and he knew that it would work better than being fucked truly dry.

“Taken worse,” he whispered as he shifted his hips enough to slide down on Shinji’s cock in one move.

Shinji gasped out as he grabbed him around the neck and sat still for a long moment. He could feel Ichigo’s heart through his chest and his breath hot on his neck. After a few seconds, Ichigo began to roll his hips and before long he had found a rhythm and position that seemed to strike right into his prostate. Shinji reached up and pulled his face to him and locked his lips on him as he worked himself up and down him with abandon. Shinji wasn’t going to be outdone by Ichigo, though, because he growled and flipped them again, bending Ichigo over the back of the bench and slamming into him from behind. Ichigo gasped and Shinji pulled his head around by his hair to kiss him again.

Ichigo didn’t think he’d ever felt this way before with Sōsuke. He was wrapped into Shinji’s arms and everything, every sense seemed to be on fire with each touch. Shinji let go of his hair and moved his hands down to Ichigo’s hips. Ichigo moved and gripped the back of the bench with both hands as he tried desperately to hold off as long as he could. Everything felt so good, though. Everything was on fire and… Then Shinji reached around him and began to stroke him in time with his deeper thrusts. Ichigo definitely wasn’t going to last like this, he thought to himself.

“Ichi, cum for me, I want to feel you…” Shinji whispered as he bent over him and ran his hand down his chest to pinch and pull at his nipple. “I want to feel your bliss…”

It had been a close thing already, but Shinji’s words were all it took. He felt it crashing into him and had no time to even warn Shinji. He nearly choked on his voice as he went over. He felt Shinji inside him, still sliding against him as he felt the world blank out completely. Shinji managed to hold off a few moments before he couldn’t hold on any further. Ichigo’s body felt like a furnace of quivering fire on him, and the pressure drew him into that heat. He leaned forward and panted against Ichigo’s neck for a moment before he kissed his neck. He pulled out of him and moved him to sit on his lap. Ichigo’s eyes were crossed and out of focus as Shinji laid rows of kisses along his neck and up to his mouth. By then, Ichigo reached out and grabbed Shinji’s head and kissed him in return. Finally, Ichigo put his head on Shinji’s shoulder and just stayed there for a long time under the moonlight.

“I didn’t intend that to happen,” Shinji said in a quiet tone. “I really didn’t.”

“I know,” Ichigo said as he turned to look at Shinji again. “But…I think it was a good thing.”

“Good,” Shinji said with a smile as he resumed kissing him again under the watchful eyes of the night blooming flowers.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

“You’ll be remanded to the custody of Sajin Komamura. You will be fitted with a tracking device. If you leave the approved area, you will be returned to a cell here. It is only by your friend Sajin’s vouching that I’m even considering this, Kaname Tōsen,” the head captain said with a stern look.

“I understand, sir. I do not deny what I have done. But I would ask for a chance to prove myself to be a good and just person to you once again,” he said with a subtle nod of his head.

“You may take him, Komamura. Remember the restrictions he is under. He is under house arrest, confined to your property. Any violation will be enough to put him in solitary here. And if he does happen to get outside the property, all agents have authorization to shoot on sight if they believe he is a danger.”

“Understood, sir. He will be fine with me, sir, and I believe the boy will do better with him around. Forging a connection when a child is feral is difficult,” Sajin said, bowing and then leading Tōsen from the office to the garage.

“Thank you,” Tōsen said with a sigh. “I am grateful.”

Sajin led him to his car and sighed. “Yes, well, do not make me regret helping you, Kaname.”

After a short while they came to Sajin’s farm. Tōsen got out and listened thoughtfully for a long moment. It was just as he remembered it from their childhood. “It is peaceful still, of that I am glad.”

“Come, Luna waits for us,” he said and ushered Tōsen toward the front door.

Luna came up and patted Tōsen on the arm. “Good day, Kaname. Come in, let’s get you set up in the other spare room,” she said and led him toward the back.

Sajin sighed and sat down on the sofa. He saw that Wonderweiss was curled up beside Dolly and Nana. Dolly was a rather large dog, a German Sheppard and golden retriever mix. Nana, who might as well have been Dolly’s litter mate for all she knew, was an Akita and pit bull mix. She was still relatively big, but both the females were protective over Wonderweiss. He smiled as Hugo came up and jumped into his lap.

“Oh, Hugo, you are such a needy pup,” he said with a smirk as he scratched the smaller dog’s head. He was an unusual mixed breed of Dachshund and basset mix. He looked up as Tōsen came back out while Luna headed to the kitchen.

“How has the child been?” he asked as he stood there listening to the room.

“He is still feral, but the dogs have helped him adjust. He’s taken with those two females. But I fear that his peaceful state will be broken soon. Dear Luna has decided that the sponge baths are not enough and the boy needs to shower. We have had no luck with that so far. So we decided to let one of the dogs go in there with him. Perhaps that will help,” he said with a smile at no one in particular.

Wonderweiss yawned and sat up slowly. He looked and saw Tōsen. He made a strange noise and came over and grabbed him around the waist. Tōsen smiled and ruffled his blonde hair.

“Hello, boy,” he said softly.

“Oh is he up?” Luna said as she came into the room. “We’re going to get this child a good shower one way or another.” She looked at the two dogs. “Dolly, come,” she said and nodded to Sajin. “Wonderweiss, come, please,” she said with a smile. It had been easier to just start with the same commands she used with the dogs.

Wonderweiss looked up and followed them quickly. He realized they were at the shower and tried to leave.

“No, look here,” Luna said and motioned Dolly to get into the shower first.

Dolly jumped into the water spray and sat down, panting and watching for another command. Wonderweiss moved forward tentatively. Luna stopped him and took his clothes first, though. He then carefully got into the shower spray. Luna smiled and shook her head. He looked absolutely amazed at the warm water coming down on him. He sighed and Luna set to work, first washing Dolly, then washing the boy.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Gin sat and went over the video again and sighed. He looked up as Shinji came into the room. He quickly shut his laptop and looked at him. Shinji sighed. “Already know what happened, eh?” he said quietly.

Gin nodded. “Yeah.”

“Look, I know that this is weird, and I know now how much you care about him. I didn’t…I mean, I wasn’t trying to take him from you,” Shinji said with a sigh. “It just…happened.”

Gin nodded. “I know; I don’t fault you. It might go toward keeping him from running back to Aizen if he feels like he has a reason to stay, and like he can trust someone out here.”

Shinji nodded. “But…don’t let it stop you if you want to do something about your feelings,” Shinji said with a smirk.

“What?” Gin asked with a frown.

“I’m not greedy,” Shinji said as he turned and headed for the door. “Love should be shared, and Ichigo needs as much of it as he can get,” he said and was gone.

Gin shook his head sighed as he opened the laptop and watched from the beginning to end form the security footage of the garden. No matter what Shinji said, it still hurt a bit, but this time, it wasn’t the same. This wasn’t like the times when he was forced to be fucked by Aizen. This was something that he had wanted, and mostly initiated. That was good.

He stood and grabbed Ichigo’s dinner from the cart and went to his room. He knocked and opened the door, and this time, he saw Ichigo was sitting on the bed and staring across the room.

“Dinner,” Gin said and smiled at him.

Ichigo looked at him and for just a second, just a brief, almost less than a second, his eyes looked dark. Then it was gone. Ichigo smiled a little.

“Good, I’m hungry,” he said and stood up and came over to him.

“I’d imagine,” he whispered as he started to leave.

“Wait,” Ichigo said and grabbed him by the arm. Gin turned back and looked at him.

“What?” he asked softly, not really looking at him.

“Don’t…don’t be mad,” he whispered.

Gin frowned and looked at him. “Mad?”

Ichigo looked down. “I just…I know you watch everything I do, so you know what happened last night with Shinji,” he whispered. “And…and after what you said…I know that you’ve done so much for me. And I don’t want you to think I don’t care about you.”

Gin turned back and smiled slightly. “Ichigo, you are free to love whomever you wish. I care for you so your happiness is what matters.”

Ichigo’s mouth dried at those words. “Gin, I am so confused. I…I…I’m desperate to go back to Sōsuke, even now, but then…Shinji… It felt nice, when…when I chose it. I…felt like it was something real, not like with all the others,” he said softly. “But…but then…there’s you and I want to…to see if you…you…” he stopped and turned away from him. “Never mind.”

Gin moved up behind him and put his arms around his from behind. “Hush,” Gin said and squeezed him tightly. “You can be whoever you are inside, and I will be here. And if you need more than one person to love you through all of this, I wouldn’t mind. Shinji’s a good man. And I trust him with you, otherwise he wouldn’t have gotten in here to start with.”

Ichigo turned in his loose grip and locked eyes with Gin’s brilliant blue ones. “Can…can that happen?” he said quietly.

“Oh yes, Ichigo, it can, and you need to feel love, not what Sōsuke showed you. And if it means that you want to let Shinji into your heart, then that is fine with me,” Gin said and reached a hand up to brush his hair from his eyes.

“But I can let you in, too?” he said quietly, his eyes never moving from Gin’s face.

“I’ve always been there,” Gin said and smiled at him for a second before he leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on his lips. He started to move back but Ichigo grabbed him by his hair and pulled him forward to engage in a long, passionate kiss of languid tongues and heated breaths. Ichigo pulled back and swallowed thickly.

Gin nodded and headed to the door, giving Ichigo a grin before he left.

He leaned against the door and sighed. What the hell was he getting into now?


	9. By His Shattered Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'll say sorry for slow updates, but my Kickstarter has been fully funded!
> 
> This means that the first book in the Power of Submission, On the Training of Doctors, will have a December release date!
> 
> If you want to get one of the rewards, I have stretch goals set up, and all backers get something out of it. 
> 
> http://goo.gl/f9TKZj

Ichigo was sure his head was going to explode. He was still rubbing the shoulder without thinking as he paced the room. Shinji was on his mind and so was Gin and he was so damn confused. Then Sosuke was there and he just wanted to scream. Why’d this have to happen? He would have been fine staying with Sōsuke until the day he died, doing whatever he asked, even the most degrading thing he wanted him to do…

He looked up to see the door opened and this time it was Isshin. He swallowed and looked at him for a long moment. He nodded and sat down the tray for his breakfast and then just stood there.

“What is it?” Ichigo said as he crossed his arms over his chest and glared at him.

“I…I just wanted to see you, and ask if you want to see your sisters,” he said softly.

Ichigo couldn’t move at the though. He shook his head. “They shouldn’t,” he said as he pulled the tray table over toward the bed to sit down.

“Why?” Isshin asked as he watched him slowly pick at the breakfast they’d made him.

“Why? Why would they want to see me? Look at what I am. I’m not their brother any more than I’m your son. I don’t know what I am,” he said with a deep sigh.

Isshin nodded and left quietly. He shut the door and almost ran into Shinji.

“Oh, hey,” he said with a confused expression. “What…what do you need?”

“Just gonna see Ichi,” he said with a smirk.

Isshin narrowed his eyes at him. “What happened?”

Shinji shrugged. “Nothing…I mean…not really…just…”

“He fucked Ichigo in the garden last night, fucking noisy bastards,” Hiyori commented as she walked past.

“Dammit, woman!” Shinji yelled and tried to smack her upside the head as she passed. She was short enough to easily duck his swing.

“What?” Isshin said and Shinji winced. This wasn’t the way he wanted Ichigo’s father to find out what was happening.

Shinji ran a hand over his head and looked away. “Um, it just…you know…happened, it wasn’t like I took him out there to do that…it just…we were talking…and he…he….”

Shinji knew it was going to happen but he didn’t stop it. It wasn’t that he couldn’t stop the older man in his tracks, he could, no he wasn’t going to because Isshin was Ichigo’s father. He grunted as the older man slammed him into the wall with his hand clutched around his throat. He flattened his hands against the wall and hoped that he didn’t choke him out before he calmed down. If so, wasn’t like he hadn’t been choked out before…

“I want to know why, considering what’s happened to him, you thought it would be acceptable to sleep with him?” Isshin said in a low and very dangerous voice.

“Wasn’t my idea…” Shinji gasped out trying to keep his hands still and not grab Isshin.

“It doesn’t matter. My son doesn’t even understand when someone cares about him or doesn’t. He doesn’t know the difference between sex and love, and he is not capable of making clear choices right now…” he growled.

“Father,” came a voice behind him. He glanced and saw a very angry looking Karin standing beside Yuzu. Karin’s arms were crossed and she was glaring at her father. “Stop it.”

Isshin let go of Shinji and the latter straightened his shirt. “Look, I don’t…”

“Shut up,” Isshin said and turned to his girls. “What are you doing here?”

“We came to see Ichigo. And ran into Hiyori on the way in. She said that Shinji was getting manhandled by you,” she said with a narrowed glance at him.

“How do you even know Hiyori?” Isshin asked with a frown.

“Who do you think my trainer at the dojo is?” Kari said with an arched brow. “Hiyori has been down there for a while. She’s small, and she’s the kind of trainer me and Yuzu do the best with. She works there nights and weekends. Sometimes he comes by to see her.”

Isshin glared at Shinji again. Shinji was not expecting this to happen. In fact, he didn’t know that the two girls he’d run into briefly at the dojo were Isshin’s daughters. Hiyori was one of the best Hap Ki Do and Judo instructors in the Shinigami, and she also taught self-defense classes at a local dojo. Her size led to her being a favorite among women and smaller men who might find themselves targets.

“That still doesn’t excuse…” Isshin started.

This time Yuzu spoke up. “You said yourself that our brother needed to make his own choices. You said that. So you can’t go around and tell him who he can and can’t sleep with.”

“But he can’t…” Isshin started.

“No, stop right there, goat face,” Karin said and walked up and stabbed a finger into his chest. “He can do whatever the hell he wants. Him being told he can’t is what is the problem. Don’t act like we don’t know what’s happened, we’re not little kids. You dancing around what he’s gone through didn’t help. So we asked Hiyori what happened, and she told us. So, yeah, we know what that bastard has done to him. And we know he wants to go back. And we know that we might not be able to stop him. So don’t treat us like babies,” Karin turned and looked at Shinji. “You okay?”

“Fine, honey,” he said with a smirk.

“Of course he is,” Hiyori said as she passed by again, this time with a bag of candy and a soda. “He coulda broke this fool’s neck if he wanted to before he got one hand on him,” she muttered as she disappeared down the hallway.

Isshin glared after her. “Shinji’s good,” Yuzu said as she glanced at him. “He’s better than anyone I’ve ever seen. Hiyori said that our brother and him are about equal in ability. So I’m guessing, if Ichigo was free to do whatever he wanted, he could have put a stop to Shinji doing anything.”

Isshin looked slightly sheepish. “I’m…I just…I don’t want him to get hurt again. And if you start something with him…and you aren’t serious…I just…”

“I don’t start anything I don’t intend to stick with,” Shinji commented and then looked at the girls. “Wanna go in and see him?”

Karin and Yuzu nodded with a smile. Isshin stepped back so he could watch the monitor. “I…I’ll wait here,” he said and decidedly didn’t make eye contact with Shinji, or his girls for that matter.

Shinji put in the code and opened the door to find that Ichigo was laying on the bed, his breakfast untouched. He’d thrown one arm over his eyes and snorted when the door closed.

“Fuck off,” he growled. “Don’t need any more of your shit, whoever you are.”

Shinji sighed and put both hands on his hips. “Well, that’s no way to treat me,” he said.

Ichigo still didn’t move. “Go away. I don’t wanna talk about it. I want to forget about it.”

“Why? Because if you stop and think about what happened last night you’ll realize how fucked up Aizen is and how bad he’s treated you?” Shinji said with a smirk toward the girls.

“Fuck you,” he said with a sigh. “I’m tired of thinking about it. I’m tired of not knowing what the fuck is going on. I’m fucking tired and I don’t have any idea what I…I…”

“Ichi, babe, look, you need to figure out that genuine feelings are far better than the ridiculous sort of ideas he put in your head. Did he ever care how you felt? Did he even ask you if you wanted to do the things he told you to do? Don’t tell me he did, because I know damn well he didn’t,” Shinji said as he glanced at the girls. Both were silently standing against the wall and watching.

Ichigo sighed and shifted a bit, trying to do his best not to listen to Shinji. “I…just don’t do this. My…my…fuck, everything is coming apart, dammit…”

Shinji moved forward and eased himself down beside him. Both Karin and Yuzu saw the careful way Shinji moved. Karin smirked at her sister. Shinji wasn’t sure that he wasn’t going to get punched. This might get interesting…

“Babe, I didn’t…I don’t regret it, okay?” Shinji said with a sigh. “I have cared about you ever since the first day you tried to take my fucking head off. And nearly did. But it was still a draw.”

“Fuck you, I woulda fucking owned you if Sosuke hadn’t shot you with the tranq. You know that as well as I do,” he grumbled and scooted himself away from Shinji. Shinji inched back closer.

“Well, you have to fucking hang around for us to test that. I’m not fighting you with a fucked up arm,” he said.

“Goddammit,” Ichigo said and threw his other arm over his face. “Just go away!”

“I’m not.”

“I’m not telling you again, fucker. Go. Away,” he said with another growl.

“No, Ichigo, I’m not…” Shinji started, and of course, he knew he was going to go for him.

Ichigo didn’t move his arms for a second but then rolled and slammed his knee up and over right into the back of Shinji’s head. Shinji hadn’t quite expected that move as he yelped and fell forward. Ichigo’s hands moved around and somehow, Shinji found himself on his back with Ichigo’s knee pressed into his throat. Shinji saw that fire in his eyes and grinned as he tried to breath.

“Fuck that,” Shinji ground out as he shifted his weight under Ichigo and got a hand up and under the one on his neck, throwing him to the said as he rolled up to his feet again. “Come on, brat,” Shinji said as Ichigo got to his hands and knees and glared at him. “Come on, you want to try it with a fucked up arm? I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“I’m gonna fucking kill you,” Ichigo spat and was up.

Shinji knew that Ichigo was centered on him, and wasn’t expecting anyone else in the room. He’d looked right past the two girls where they stood watching with great interest. Ichigo held the braced arm against his chest, but he used it when he needed it. He was slow, though, Shinji noted. He guessed that he might be getting a little sedative in his food and drinks just to keep him from actually killing someone.

“You can’t fucking kill me,” Shinji said with a grin as he dodged a leg sweep deftly. “You’re fucking slow as hell. You’re unfocused. You can’t even knock me down for more than a minute.”

Ichigo’s frustration was beginning to show as he started letting emotion overtake him. Shinji had expected this after the night before. He simply had preferred to get it out of the way sooner rather than later. He narrowed his eyes at Shinji and then went to try and feint another leg sweep and go for an arm grab instead. Shinji saw it and reversed it, shifting his hands up and pulling Ichigo around. He shifted and locked his arms down between him and Ichigo’s back. Ichigo tried to slip the hold and flip around, but Shinji slid one leg around Ichigo’s and trapped him in a position that he couldn’t get leverage on him. Shinji locked his other arm around Ichigo’s neck.

Ichigo struggled with him a few minutes and tried to throw him or get his hands free from behind him. If nothing else, Shinji was good at holds. He’d trained a lot in the last few years on immobilizing an attacker and avoiding unnecessary harm to them. Ichigo finally relaxed a bit against him panting.

“Fuck you,” he growled.

“Are you done?” Shinji asked as he shifted a bit. He wasn’t going to fall for Ichigo pretending to give up when he hadn’t yet.

“When you let me the hell out of here so I can go back, I’ll be done!” he nearly yelled and Shinji felt the wetness on his arm.

“Ichi,” Shinji said with a sigh and shifted his hold to bring him around to face him. He hoped he didn’t get clocked in the jaw for it, but he thought that maybe, just maybe, he might be ready to stop fighting him.

Ichigo just collapsed then, to Shinji’s surprise. Shinji wrapped both arms around him and let him put his face down on his shoulder as the both went to the floor. He felt the tension and the frustration in his body as he just sat there heaving heavy breaths.

“Why are you doing this to me?” he asked finally in a bare whisper.

“I’m not doing it to you, Ichi, I’m trying to help you,” he said quietly as he reached up and stroked his hand over Ichigo’s now damp hair.

“I don’t want your help,” he whispered. “I don’t want it…”

Karin and Yuzu sighed. Karin moved first and knelt on one side of him, Yuzu followed and knelt on the other.

“We want to help you too, brother,” Karin said finally.

Ichigo’s head shot up and he stared at her with wide eyes for a moment. He turned and saw Yuzu was sitting on the other side of him. “What…what…I said I didn’t want them to come here!” he said and glared at Shinji.

“You tell them not to do something they want to do, these two can almost kick my ass these days,” Shinji said with a smirk. “Seriously, I don’t want to mess with these two when they’re mad. The dark haired one is the worst, but little miss deceptive there lures you into thinking she’s sweet. She’s not.”

Ichigo lowered his head and sighed. “I know what you’re trying to do, but…I’m not who I was,” he said and looked between the two girls. He pushed himself to stand up and walked toward the bed where he stood and stared over it at the wall. “I’m not your brother anymore, don’t you get it? I’m not who I was!”

“You are,” Yuzu’s gentle voice came from behind him as her hands touched his arm. He looked at her, as she was a bit shorter than he was. “You are our brother, nothing changes that. Karin and I missed you. And we want to get to know you. You aren’t the same person you were thirteen years ago. We know that, but neither are we. We grew up in our own ways. And you had everything stolen from you, Ichigo, but that’s okay. It doesn’t matter. You were nine. We changed, you changed, and that’s okay.”

Ichigo looked at her and put his hand on her face. “I…I…he told me you were gone, and I believed it. I thought…I just forgot you both. I’m not a good brother, and I don’t know why anyone wants to get to know this fucked up thing I’ve become.”

“We do,” Karin said and moved up beside him. She took his hand and ran her fingers over the brace he was wearing. “You don’t deserve this, Ichigo. You don’t deserve to be treated badly. You deserve to have a chance to be happy.”

“I don’t, though,” Ichigo said as he stared at her. “The things I’ve done…I’ve killed and hurt people, how can I…I… I helped him run guns, drugs, sex workers, how can anyone want to do anything except throw me in a cell like this for the rest of my life? Because if I get out, I’m going back to him. I am.”

Yuzu sighed. “Then we’ll just get to know you as long as we have you.”

Ichigo didn’t know what to say he just shook his head. “You’ll regret it,” he whispered and left them to head into the small bathroom. He didn’t come out until he heard them all having left him alone again. He came out and slid down the wall with his head in his hands. Why was it all unraveling? What was he going to do with it all?

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Kenpachi Zaraki stood outside the meeting place with his lieutenant, Yachiru. She was short, and had bright pink hair. She bounced from foot to foot and waited.

“So, who is it?” she asked and looked up at her captain.

“Some whore of Barragan’s and one of Aizen’s men,” he muttered as he leaned against the brick wall to wait.

“Oooh, did the guy fall in love with a sex worker? That’s so cool…” she muttered as she looked up at the moon. “I like it when someone changes for someone like that.”

“Whatever,” Kenpachi muttered as he looked up and saw a pair of figures coming toward them. “Shut up, here they come.”

As they got closer Yachiru nearly squealed. “It’s a boy whore! You didn’t tell me that.”

Kenpachi rolled his eyes. “What does it matter?” he muttered as he saw, to his surprise, that the man coming toward him was Nnoitra Gilga. He was dressed in a black coat and had one arm around a shorter man with short blond hair. The shorter man kept his head down and seemed more than a little nervous.

Nnoitra stopped and stared at Kenpachi. They’d tangled on more than one occasion. He hadn’t expected them to send Kenpachi. He glanced between the pink haired short woman and the mountainous man that was Kenpachi.

“Well, fuck me sideways,” Kenpachi said. “Never expected your perverted ass to turn on Aizen,” he said as he led them toward the van.

“Shut the fuck up, asshole,” Nnoitra muttered as he carefully helped the other man into the van. “Sometimes shit happens we don’t expect,” he added as he got in and sat down beside him.

“Who’s he?” Yachiru said as she jumped in the back and sat across from them.

“I’m Tesla,” the blond said quietly.

“You’re pretty!” Yachiru said with a bright smile. “We’re going to our main place, and we’ll get you set up in a room together, but all the rooms are monitored. Just in case you do sex stuff.”

Tesla blinked at her for a moment. “Yachiru!” Kenpachi said from the front. “Let them be, for fuck’s sake, woman!”

“What?” she said as she scampered over into the passenger seat.

Tesla watched her go sit down and looked up at Nnoitra. “Are you sure about this? He’s going to kill you if he gets hold of you for leaving.”

“I don’t care,” he said and ran a hand over Tesla’s head. “I just can’t do it anymore. It wasn’t just you, though, so don’t think it was one thing. It was a lot of things, and this…this just told me it was time to do something.”

They were quiet for a while and then Nnoitra spoke up. “Yo, you guys have Aizen’s boy?”

Kenpachi snorted. “Yeah, that little bastard’s a fucking live wire,” he muttered. “I think he’s probably spent more time fighting than he has anything else.”

Nnoitra smirked. “Yeah, that kid was always something. Never seen someone that fights so hard, then lets someone fucking beat the shit out of him without a word.”

Tesla looked up. “He can’t help it, Nnoi. It’s not that he can’t stop them, he doesn’t want to. I tried to talk to him while he was stuck there with us at Barragan. And there just isn’t any getting through to him. He’s so sure that he’s supposed to be there, at Aizen’s side, that he’ll do anything and everything for him.”

“So, how did you two manage to get out without Aizen knowing anyway?” Kenpachi said as they turned off onto a dusty side road.

“Barragan,” Nnoitra said softly. “There was this asshole that was doing shit to Tesla he shouldn’t, and Luppi, Barragan’s second, told me to get the fuck out with him. So I did. Then I Barragan contacted me and said that he’d sent some money to a secret account, and sent me the information to get it out. He said he’d have someone go get in contact with you all; see if we could come in. So that’s how we got here.”

Yachiru looked back at them. “Why did Barragan do that?”

“He doesn’t like some of the way Aizen does things. When he sent the boy to the whorehouse with us, he was mad. He couldn’t send him back of course, or Aizen would have probably hurt him. Barragan didn’t like it though. Then that kid died, and everything exploded, and I think Barragan had just had enough of it,” Tesla said softly as they pulled into an underground garage.

Kenpachi pulled into a parking spot and looked back at them. “Home sweet home, we’re at the Seireitei,” he said with a grin.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

 Gin watched the video again when Shinji had taken Ichigo’s sisters in to see him. He saw the breaking down and he didn’t know how to help him. He ran his hand through his fine blonde hair. He wanted to help him. He really did. He wanted to show him the things that Aizen never showed him. And sure, Shinji and him fucking was a good thing, he guessed, but that wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted to take care of him. He wanted to just be there for him like Aizen never was. He wanted to make him happy. He sighed and started to leave but nearly ran into Kisuke.

“Kisuke, what are you doing here?” he asked.

Kisuke nodded to him. “I thought I’d come check on you.”

Gin frowned. “You mean Ichigo, right?”

“No, I mean you. I saw it when you brought him to me the first time. And then I heard about the thing with Shinji…” he added.

“Seriously, does everyone know about that?” he asked with a sigh. “I mean, I know we’re monitoring him but who he has sex with shouldn’t be all over the damn place.”

“Isshin told me,” he said with a smirk. “Not everyone knows about it. I think you, men, Isshin and his girls, and Hiyori are the only ones that know about it. Isshin wanted my opinion on what I thought about it. I told him what I’ll say to you. Ichigo needs someone to help him stick all the broken pieces back together. He needs to feel like he’s worthwhile and like he’s someone that can be loved. So you need to make sure he knows that you care about him for reasons that Aizen never did. Just…give him what you have, and go from there. He needs people that can be there for him.”

“But he’s going to go back if he gets out, and we can’t just keep him in a cell for the rest of his life, that’s no life,” Gin said as he glanced up to the monitor where Ichigo was currently sitting on the bed picking at the covers. His dinner sat on the table untouched. Gin wasn’t sure if he’d eaten anything today at all.

Kisuke nodded. “Yeah, he will. But when he gets back to Aizen, and Aizen treats him the same way he always has, Ichigo is going to remember last night with Shinji. He’s going to remember having someone hold him. He’s going to remember you staying beside him while he yelled and screamed to make you leave. He’s going to remember those things, and all we can hope for is that he’ll realize the truth then.”

Gin nodded and smiled at him. “I think I get it. Everyone knows that there’s no way he’ll stay here on his own, huh?”

Kisuke nodded. “Yeah, and there’s nothing we can do about it,” he said with a sigh. “We just have to prove to him that there’s more to life than what Aizen did to him. So you need to reach out to him if you can before that happens. I honestly don’t know how long we can keep him in there without charging him with something before it becomes a problem. We have a lot of leeway, but it only goes so far. It’s been over a month already. We’re pushing the limits of holding someone like this.”

Gin nodded and watched as Kisuke headed out. He leaned back in the chair and wondered what he was going to do. He figured that he had to try something, so he thought he’d take Ichigo out of the cell somewhere else. He need to show him what there was in the world for him. He needed a reason to feel connected. He opened the door and looked at him. He was laying down now, staring at the ceiling. He smiled.

“Mah, mah, gonna have to get you some clothes besides those awful scrubs,” he said.

Ichigo looked at him with a narrowed gland. “What do you want?” he huffed.

“Well, I thought you’d like to get out and find something to occupy yourself with,” he said with a shrug.

Ichigo sat up and glared at him. “If you think you’re going to get me out of here and repeat what happened with Shinji…”

“Ichigo,” Gin said with a sigh. “I just wanted to take you to the library we have here to see if you would like some books or something.”

Ichigo eyed him suspiciously. “Alright,” he said and thought that perhaps he could get a better idea of the layout if so. “But keep your fucking distance or I’ll fucking shove your teeth down your goddamn throat.”

Gin shook his head. “I know, Ichigo, I know.”

Ichigo got up and followed him down a few corridors and finally to a double wooden door. “One of the things that we wanted here was a decent library,” he said as he pushed them open and led Ichigo inside. “Before I left with Aizen, I spent a lot of time here. I always liked to read.”

Ichigo looked around appreciatively at the eight-foot-tall book cases that lined three of the walls. There was a large table and chairs in the middle and several leather couches around the room. It was empty, but then it was after nine at night.

“Not bad,” Ichigo said and started walking down the sides.

“What do you like, anyway?” Gin said as he went over and ran his fingers down a line of books to find the one he wanted. He smiled to himself and pulled it out.

“Fantasy, science fiction, that stuff,” Ichigo said as he looked over the titles. “There’s a lot here,” he said as he read some of the more obscure titles.

“Yeah,” Gin said and showed Ichigo the book he was holding. It was a worn copy of _Metamorphosis_ by Kafka. “This was always my favorite. I think I’ve read it seven or eight times.”

Ichigo took in and looked at him. “I’ve never read it.”

“You might like it, I don’t know, it’s not for everyone,” he said with a shrug. “But it always made me think when I read it.”

Ichigo nodded and tucked the book in his arms and continued looking around. “I read a lot, you know. I didn’t have much else to do. Especially when you were gone for a while.”

Gin nodded. “Yeah, I remember that. I always brought back new books with me. I never knew what you liked, so I just would get lots of different ones when I went somewhere.”

Ichigo turned and stared at him for a long moment. “That was you?” he asked. “I mean, I knew someone kept adding books to the library, but I just assumed Sōsuke bought them or something, or other people just left them. I didn’t know you bought them.”

Gin nodded. “I saw early on that you liked to read. I mean, it made sense. Reading got your mind off everything. You could get lost in the books and not think about everything. I could understand it. I just…I wanted you to be happy.”

Ichigo turned again and stared at him. “If you wanted me to be happy, why did you leave so much?” he asked and Gin actually heard the pained sound to his voice.

Gin sighed and sat down on one of the sofas. “I had a problem, and it was telling Aizen what I thought of how he did things with you. Every time I got sent away, every single time, it was because I said something I shouldn’t have and he wanted me gone for a while. I guess he thought if I wasn’t around when he did whatever he was planning, that I wouldn’t say anything to you or something.”

Ichigo thought about it for a long moment. “So when you left…when I was fifteen…”

“I almost didn’t walk out of the office that day,” he said with a slight smile. “I thought he was going to cut my throat then and there for going off on him about what he had planned. Honesty, I didn’t care. But it didn’t matter. I got scared and I backed down and got sent off again. I was a coward, I know, but I thought…I thought it was better if I left and then came back and helped you pick up the pieces than if I died right there and then there was no one to help you.”

Ichigo frowned deeply and turned away. He wanted Gin to think he was thinking. He really didn’t want him to see the dampness in his eyes. One of the things he’d always wondered was why Gin kept leaving him.

“You were my favorite person,” he said finally with a sigh. “I think that’s why…that’s why…I kept asking for your help. I just…when you’d come to the room and help me with the bandages, and you’d talk to me after what…what I had to do…” Ichigo swallowed with a clicking in his throat that was loud in the quiet library. “I couldn’t say it. How much you helped…”

Ichigo nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt Gin’s hands rest on his shoulders. “I know,” Gin said as he began to squeeze Ichigo’s shoulders. It was something he’d done a million times. “I can’t tell you how hard it was for me. I wanted, from the day I picked you up as a child, to take you away from him. Then, as you got older, things started changing. I watched that child grow up and turn into someone strong and so brilliant. And it was wasted on Aizen’s need to control you so completely…”

Gin was surprised as Ichigo turned in his grip and grabbed his face. He blinked and stared into Ichigo’s eyes for a long moment. Ichigo stared and it was as though he was looking for truth in what Gin was saying. “What does that mean?” he asked, not letting go of Gin’s face.

“It means I always loved you,” Gin said softly. “At first, I just loved you because someone needed to love you. Then…then as you got older…it changed, and I still wanted to do the same things. I still wanted to cradle you and hold you and make you feel safe. From the time you were nine years old, Ichigo, that’s all I wanted. That’s all I still want.”

“I don’t understand,” Ichigo said with a near broken look on his face. Both of them looked up as the door opened and Shinji looked between them.

“Oh, I’m interrupting,” he muttered and started to back out of the room.

Ichigo shook his head. “Wait,” he said and Shinji looked at him and then to Gin. “Please.”

Shinji nodded and stepped in, pulling the door closed behind him. He thought for a second and flicked the lock. Couldn’t be too careful.

Ichigo looked between them. “I want to know why.”

“Why?” Gin asked and looked at Shinji.

“Why do you…do you both want to have anything to do with someone like me?” he asked as he tightened his grip on the book that he held against his chest.

“Someone like you?” Shinji said and sighed. “You mean a strong, intelligent, and hot young man that can kick my ass in a fight? Um, why wouldn’t I want something to do with you?”

“I’m broken, you know that!  You both know it! You know that as soon as I’m free, no matter what happens here, in the garden, in that room, I’m just going to fucking go back to him!” he practically yelled at them. “So this is all for nothing! I’ll go back and you’ll both just…just move on with your lives and I’ll go back to being Aizen’s fucking whore and fucking pretend second in command, because I fucking know what I am, goddamn it. You don’t think I do! I understand it! I still can’t stop what I feel!”

“I know,” Gin said with a sad smile. “And so does Shinji. But this time, right now, that’s all that matters. Tomorrow isn’t here yet. And I know that I’ll regret for the rest of my life if I don’t say something now. I didn’t come here to get you to have sex with me. That’s not it. I don’t care about that. I’ll love you always because I can’t help that. And even if you go back, and I spend my life alone, so be it. Broken or not, I know exactly what I’m doing, too.”

Shinji nodded and crossed his arms. “As much as I’d like to think fucking you into the bench last night would make you change your mind, I know it won’t, Ichigo. You keep saying you’re not stupid, well neither am I. I haven’t done anything with intention of getting anything in return.”

Ichigo looked between them and didn’t know what to do. He needed someone to…to what? He swallowed. He needed someone to hold him and cradle him and treat him like the child he’d never been. He needed someone to fight him and throw him to the floor and take him down. He needed those things, and he was feeling so overwhelmed he didn’t know what to think.

Gin went back to him and put his hands on his face. “Come here,” he said softly and Ichigo nodded. “Come just sit down, okay?”

Ichigo found himself mechanically following Ichigo to one of the leather sofas and he fell into it. Before he could move, though, Gin had wrapped him up in his arms and pulled him against him. He felt the book slide out of his grip and he thought Shinji had taken it. He turned into Gin though, feeling the familiar sensation of him holding him. How many times had Gin held him after something had happened? How many times when he was younger had he sat in his lap and cried? And how many times as an adult had he sat beside him and felt him stroke his hands down his arms and back and…

Ichigo made an odd sound in his throat and Gin arched a brow as he pulled him tighter and held him. He felt his breathing speed up and he glanced up at Shinji who was smirking at Gin. Gin frowned then realized that Shinji was pointing downward and Gin understood. He’d gotten him worked up, it seemed…

“Ichigo, you don’t have to do anything, you know,” Gin said, ignoring the obvious state of arousal he’d gone into. He really hadn’t intended anything more than picking out books but he found himself reacting to Ichigo’s closeness despite his attempts to keep it at bay. “I will hold you forever if that’s what you need,” he breathed out.

Ichigo moved though and looked up at him with eyes blown wide. Gin felt every ounce of blood escape to his cock immediately. He muttered something incomprehensible as Ichigo reached up and took his face in his hands. He stared at Gin for a long moment, then slipped over onto his lap and pressed his lips against Gin’s. Gin reached out and gripped his hips and let his mouth open slightly and found Ichigo’s insistent tongue sliding into it. It was as though there were a ferocity to it as he seemed to be trying to reach every part of his mouth at the same time.

Shinji smirked and moved forward. He started to kiss at the back of Ichigo’s neck as he positively ravaged Gin’s mouth. He was a bit more aggressive now, it seemed. Shinji reached down and started sliding the greenish scrub top up Ichigo’s body. Ichigo broke the kiss with Gin for a moment as it slipped over his head. Shinji started running his hands over Ichigo’s chest as he kissed Gin again. He started pinching at both nipples, causing Ichigo to gasp and stiffen under his touch.

“I think he might need some help, Gin,” Shinji said as he leaned over and slid his hands under the band of the scrub bottoms. “Here, let’s get these off,” Shinji said and slipped them down his hips slowly. Gin smirked and pushed him up and then turned him to face Shinji on his lap. He paused in between to free himself from his own slacks.

“Hmm, you’re flushed,” Shinji said as Ichigo looked up at him. “And you’re dripping, are you turned on by having two of us at once?” he said with a smirk as he leaned in and kissed him again. This time, Gin moved one hand around and gripped Ichigo’s cock and he lurched in response. “There, there,” Shinji said. “Just a bit,” he muttered. “Need to get something,” he said as he went over to the desk and fished out a couple packets that he was looking for.

“Do you fucking people have sex everywhere?” Ichigo said as he tried to hold himself together despite Gin’s hand stroking him and his lips laying sucking kisses down his spine.

Shinji smirked. “They’re actually Rose’s stashes,” he muttered as he tossed two of the packets to Gin. Gin ripped the condom open with his teeth as Shinji took up teasing Ichigo’s nipples again with his tongue. “Rose likes to fuck. A lot. Him and Kensei and Love end up romping about everywhere around here…”

“Ah,” Ichigo muttered as he felt Gin reach under him and slide a slick finger into him. He was still getting used to being treated with care as he grabbed Shinji’s shoulders, leaning into him as Gin wriggled his long fingers into him. He twisted his hand around and slipped his index over that sensitive place he was looking for.

“Hmm, you’re so responsive,” Gin muttered as he worked up to three fingers in him, rapidly fucking him as he seemed to be hanging onto Shinji to stay on Gin’s lap. He was burying his face in Shinji’s chest and panting openly. He slicked himself, noticing that the condom had some sort of lubricant already that made his hand tingle a bit. That sounded fun.

Shinji knelt down and pushed Ichigo up and back. Gin shifted and let Ichigo drop down on him hard. Ichigo gasped out and Shinji swallowed any moans he let out as Gin held tightly to his hips. Ichigo was then surprised as Shinji pushed him back and smirked. Shinji took Ichigo’s cock in his hand and then dove down on him with his mouth. Ichigo nearly squealed as he felt him swallow him all the way down. Shinji, though, had grabbed his cock at the base to stop him from cumming. He worked him over with his mouth for a long time until he felt like he was going to literally explode if he didn’t do something. He came up off him and smiled at him.

“Ah, you…I…oh…” Ichigo panted out, dropping his head back onto Gin’s shoulder. Gin started teasing both his nipples with his hands and shifting under him until he felt him start to move on him.

“Come on,” Gin whispered. “Look,” he whispered and Ichigo looked across and realized where they were sitting was across from a full length mirror. He moved and grabbed both Ichigo’s legs and spread them out so he could see them in the mirror.

“Look,” Shinji said and looked back, stroking him as Gin moved him up on him. “See where he’s sliding into you? Doesn’t it look nice? He’s filling you up, isn’t he?”

Ichigo didn’t know how to respond to it as he stared at the mirror, not sure what to think as Gin thrust up into him and he watched him slide in and out. He didn’t realize that it would be so…

He nearly yelped when he felt Shinji slide a finger into him beside Gin’s cock. “Ah, see, so, so full,” Shinji said. “Imagine what it would feel like if I slipped in beside him, Ichi…”

Ichigo didn’t want to think about that because he was extremely afraid that it would feel so very good and hurt so good that he wanted to have him do it again and again… “Can’t…can’t take you both…that’s no possible…” he gasped out.

“Hmm, but it is, might take a little work to open your tight little ass up some more, but yeah, it’s possible,” Shinji said as he began sucking on Ichigo’s throat while he worked his finger in beside Gin’s cock.

Gin was about ninety percent done, and when Shinji slipped a finger into Ichigo by him, he almost lost it there. He felt the building sensation and shook his head. “Shinji…” he muttered…

“Hmm yeah,” Shinji said with a smirk as he dropped to his knees again and swallowed Ichigo again. Ichigo gasped as he felt everything explode around him in sheer whiteness. He felt Gin go over but he was honestly not with it enough to notice.

He felt the world tip and he was facing Gin now, his legs planted on either side of his hips and he found his mouth and started kissing him. He let out a low moan as he felt Shinji seat himself in him. Ichigo paused and put his head in the crook of Gin’s shoulder and groaned low in his throat. “Ah, ah, Shinji…” he panted as he held to Gin tightly around his neck. Gin reached down and grabbed hold of Ichigo’s cock and stroked him as Shinji set a hard and fast rhythm into him. The angle was good, though, and every time Shinji thrust forward, Ichigo felt him stab into his prostate hard. He was frankly a mess within moments from the rough way Shinji fucked. Gin had been slow and steady, Shinji was nearly violent…and he was completely sated either way by the time they were done.

Shinji gripped his hips hard and Gin’s hand worked him up and down quickly until he felt himself all over again, the world blanking and turning inside out for a second as he felt like he was simply drained of all energy. He fell into Gin’s arms, or Shinji’s, or both, he wasn’t sure. He felt someone cleaning him off with something warm and damp, and then he was sitting on someone’s lap and it was warm and nice. He realized he was crying though, and at first he didn’t understand it as he felt everything come undone inside him.

Shinji and Gin were both a bit surprised when Ichigo started sobbing, and they weren’t sure what that meant. The did know that he needed to be held because he was coming loose. Shinji cleaned him and pulled his own pants back on before he dropped into the couch and they cradled him between them. Gin held him on his lap and Shinji leaned him back onto his until he was laying over both of their laps.

If nothing else, both Gin and Shinji knew that they had shown him what it was like to be loved without pain. And that meant everything to both of them


	10. By His Command

Ichigo sat in the bed and stared at the floor. He had no idea what to do. He didn’t understand anything what he was supposed to do. He’d slept little after the night before in the library. It had only been sheer exhaustion that he had fallen asleep. His head was a myriad of twists and turns and he couldn’t figure out what was real and what was fake. He started violently when the door opened. He looked up to see it was Gin. Ichigo didn’t know what to think now. He was so confused when he looked at him. It wasn’t like there hadn’t always been something there. It was just he had never acknowledged it. He didn’t want to think that he felt something toward someone besides Sōsuke. He looked away from him as Gin sat down beside him.

“Are you feeling okay today?” he asked and for the first time after something like what had happened, Ichigo heard concern in his voice.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he said and crossed his arms again.

“I just…I didn’t mean to…and it just happened, and I guess…I’m sorry.”

Ichigo reached over and took his hand though. “I know. I just…I want you to know that I…I have felt things here that I didn’t think I could feel anymore. Gin, you’ve known what I’ve done, and not just the shit Sōsuke made me do. The other things. I know…now, anyways…that the reason I liked the fighting, and hurting people, was because I couldn’t fix what was hurting me.”

Gin reached over and brushed his hair from is eyes. “Ichigo, what you’ve done isn’t really by your choice.”

“Is it? I mean, really is it?” Ichigo put his hands in front of him and stared at them. “You know the things I’ve done. And they’ve made me happy. I enjoyed them. I… And not even like Yammy, people who didn’t deserve it. Like Shinji. If I hadn’t…I got him captured, Gin. I got the others put in there. It was me that did that. I was the one that did that. And now he’s acting like I should be worth something to him.”

Gin sighed and put his arm around him. “Ichi, baby, you have to let go of it. Shinji knows it. He doesn’t blame you. He blames Aizen.”

“He should blame me. He should hate me. They all should hate me. Not just for the fact I’m nothing but Sōsuke’s whore to do whatever he wants with, but what I did for him. Gin, I hurt people. I killed people for him. Why should anyone have any sympathy for me? I deserve to be treated worse than I already am,” he said softly and Gin understood now.

“You go back because you’re punishing yourself don’t you?” he said softly. “You think you deserve to be treated this way. That’s why you don’t fight back.”

Ichigo looked at him. “Why should I Gin? From the beginning, Gin…I just…I can’t do this.” He stood up and turned away from him. “I can’t be happy like this. I’m happy with Sōsuke because it hurts so much,” he whispered.

Gin stood and put his arms around him from behind. “Ichi, please. You deserve to be treated well. You deserve to make your own choices, really make them, instead of doing what you think you have to do in order to punish yourself.”

Ichigo bit his lip. “Look, how about I just…just let this…whatever it is…happen and I’ll do my best to be happy now,” he said and turned back around in Gin’s grip.

Gin smiled at him and put both hands on his face. “Okay,” he said and leaned forward to capture his lips. Ichigo flinched a bit but then let it happen, melting into the gentleness that his hands used.

Ichigo felt the world spin and he was sitting on Gin’s lap facing him now. He felt hot all over but he just let Gin’s hands glide over his back and he leaned into him to kiss him again. He gasped a breath and put his head down on Gin’s shoulder and just let himself float between what he knew was real and the things in his mind that were screaming that he shouldn’t be doing this because he did not deserve to have such kindness. He gasped as he felt Gin’s hands slide down the swell of his ass and squeeze. He felt so strange like this, and he wanted more from him. He wanted everything from him. Ichigo turned and began kissing and licking at Gin’s neck as his hands flexed over his shoulders. 

“You know, Aizen has no idea how to handle you,” Gin breathed into Ichigo’s ear.

Ichigo couldn’t answer, though. He let out a small noise as he felt Gin slide his hand down and under him. He slid fingers back and forth over his entrance. It was a ghost of a touch and just enough that he was panting with want from it.

“See, I figured out a while back,” Gin continued, sliding the tip of his middle finger into him and pulling back. “You respond so well to gentle things. You’ll let someone force themselves on you with violence, but you never respond to them. You never respond to Aizen unless he forces it from you.” Gin’s finger teased him again and this time moaned out loud. “But this, the gentle and easy touching and petting. I could hold you all day like this,” he said and finally sunk his finger into him. Ichigo whimpered then, and Gin could feel his heart beating hard against him. “See, look,” he said as he moved his other hand between them and slid it down the front.

Ichigo was lost between sensation and need. He felt Gin grasp him and he almost lost it right then. He’d never had such hair trigger for his body before. Was Gin right? Was the violence Sōsuke used the opposite of what he needed? He let out another moan as he felt Gin slide another finger into him and quickly followed it with a third. He whined against his throat as Gin’s hand began working him. What was he doing? He thought he was doing this so he could fuck him again. But he wasn’t giving any indication that he wanted anything out of the encounter.

“I knew, when I’d put the bandages on you, and I’d rub the salves into your bruises,” Gin said as he began slipping his fingers up against his sweet spot slowly. “You needed it. Those nice things I could give you.” Ichigo was gripping him harder now. “And it doesn’t matter what you give me,” Gin said as his hands began to slide faster over his cock and prostate. Ichigo felt the world crash around him and he nearly screamed into Gin’s shoulder, digging his fingers into his back. “That’s it,” Gin whispered to him as he clutched him against him as he came down. “There, I want you to feel good and satisfied for the first time, Ichi, you, not me,” he whispered as he wiped his hand on the cover beside him. He just held him for a long time as he panted against him.

Ichigo had no idea what to think about this. He’d never had someone just do something to pleasure him like that. He just clung to Gin for a long time until he let exhaustion take him. Gin moved back on the bed and leaned against the wall, still clutching Ichigo to his chest. He looked up as the door opened and Shinji came in. He stared at them and shook his head.

“So, now you come jerk him off and finger fuck him to sleep, eh?” he commented.

Gin glared at him. “Why are you so vulgar?” he said with a sigh.

Shinji shrugged. “Just the way I am. Seemed to work. Kisuke said he slept all of two hours last night after he came back here. He was pacing most the night.”

Shinji dropped beside Gin on the bed and ran his hand over Ichigo’s head. “Heard what he said though. Chased Hiyori and Kisuke outta the observation booth when you started swapping spit. They wanted to watch, told them to fuck off.”

Gin sighed. “They’ll just pull up the feed in the surveillance office. Not like they could see anything, though, had may hands in his pants.”

“So, what did you come in here for anyway? I mean, I know you didn’t just come to jerk him off on some random whim. If so, you need to come find me now and then,” he muttered and leaned his head back against the wall.

Gin sighed. “I just…wanted him to see that he could get something without having expectation that he had to give something in return. I don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t have…” he said with a sigh.

“I know,” Shinji said as he reached and ruffled his hair thoughtfully. “He feels so guilty for everything, doesn’t he?”

Gin nodded. “Yeah, I don’t know how to convince him that it’s okay, that no one blames him.”

Shinji sighed and leaned into Gin and felt the exhaustion pulling at him as well. He hadn’t slept well at all. To his surprise he felt Gin reach an arm around him and squeeze him against him. He hummed and fell into a restless sleep beside him.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Isshin sat in the observation room and watched the monitors as his son was sleeping in a man’s lap that he swore he would murder one day. He’d watched from the security room and heard what Ichigo had said. Watching his son…in this…was so much harder than he expected. He wanted to take him away from Gin. He wanted to tell him to leave him alone. But he couldn’t at all. The boy, no, man, in that room didn’t need him telling him what to do, father or not. He sighed, realizing that no matter what, his son needed love. He’d spent so long equating sex with love, to have now Shinji and Gin show him that they actually cared about him more than what he could give them.

“The guilt is going to eat him alive,” Kisuke said as he came into the room. Isshin looked up at him. “Until he can figure out how to put the blame on Aizen instead of himself, he’ll never heal.”

Kisuke sat down beside him and sighed. “I know this is hard for you, watching your son like this. I can’t imagine having to sit here as two people do these things with him.”

“I know he needs it,” Isshin said as he watched as Gin’s head fell back into the wall and he too dropped off into a doze. “I know that he doesn’t understand the difference between love and what Aizen did to him.”

Kisuke nodded slowly. “I just…we both know that it won’t last. This peace he has.”

“This peace?” Isshin said with a cocked brow. “You call this peace?”

“Yeah, because I fear that there’s a storm coming soon.”

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

“Come on, you have to come out,” Shinji said as he held onto Ichigo’s hand the next morning.

“Why?” he asked as Shinji led him out the door.

“Because the only time you leave that room can’t be for me to fuck you,” Shinji said with a smirk. “I mean, it can, I guess, I wouldn’t mind,” he said as he pulled Ichigo in and nipped at his ear.

Ichigo slapped him away. “Stop it,” he muttered as he took him down the corridors toward the cafeteria.

“Let’s have something for food you’ve chosen…” Shinji started but realized that Ichigo had stopped and was staring ahead. “What is it?” Shinji asked and looked up as someone came over quickly to Ichigo and threw arms around hi m.

“Ichi! They said you were here!” Tesla said with a sad smile.

“T-telsa?” he asked with a frown. “What are you doing here…” Ichigo stared as he saw Nnoitra. “Wha…”

Nnoitra came over and put an arm around Tesla and looked at Ichigo. “Yo, so, fancy meeting you here…”

Ichigo had no idea what to think. “How…what are you doing here?”

Shinji smiled. “Nnoitra turned on Aizen. He brought Tesla here out of Barragan’s place. We’re helping them both get the help they need.”

Ichigo couldn’t understand this. Nnoitra was one of Aizen’s best men, his Espada…what was he doing turning on him? He didn’t know what to think, though. After all, his own situation was definitely not normal.

“So by the look, looks like Strawberry boy found out what having someone give a shit is,” Nnoitra said with a shrug.

“What?” Ichigo said looking at him.

“You, finally figuring out that Aizen is fucking abusive, using bastard,” Nnoitra said. “We all know it, you know. He doesn’t care about you. He finds it entertaining to watch you do what he says, and listen to his orders.”

Ichigo stared at him and then looked away. “I know, but I love him.”

Nnoitra blinked. “What?”

“I still love him, and I’m still going back!” Ichigo growled and pushed past them. Shinji sighed and went after him.

“Come on,” he said as he grabbed his hand and pulled him away. “Not the cafeteria. Maybe the pool.”

“Pool?” Ichigo asked as he followed Shinji.

A few minutes later they came into a room with a pool that was more like a hot tub, but not quite as warm. Shinji stripped off his clothes and turned to Ichigo.

“Well, come on,” he said with a smirk.

Ichigo shook his head in confusion and slowly took off the scrubs that he was wearing. He stepped into the water carefully and before he knew it, Shinji had him pressed into the side. He gasped as he felt him sliding his hands over his back. “I do like seeing all of you,” he muttered as he began sucking at the back of his neck.

“What…what are doing…” he gasped as he felt Shinji sliding fingers into him. “Ah! What…” he sighed though and put his head on the side of the pool and panted. “You said…we weren’t…leaving for this…”

“Hmm, I might have lied,” he muttered as he nipped at the side of his neck. After about ten minutes of intensely fingering him into a mewling mess they heard a yell.

“Hey!” Shinji looked up and grinned at Lisa. “Get the fuck out of the goddamn pool with that, you nasty bastards!”

Ichigo was going to respond but Shinji shoved his fingers into his prostate hard and he gasped out a low moan. He continued as he spoke. “Like you and Hiyori don’t fuck in here. And I know Rose and Kensei have gone at it more than once.”

Ichigo couldn’t believe he was still finger fucking him as he spoke calmly to Lisa. He couldn’t even articulate a coherent sentence from Shinji torturing his prostate. Lisa growled. “Shinji, I will fucking douse your food with laxative for a week and you’ll never know where it came from if you don’t take your fucking somewhere else.”

“Hmm, how about outside the water?”

“No! I do not want to see any nasty man pieces and bits! I’m a fucking lesbian for a reason!” she growled.

“Well, if I put a towel around his waist, my cock is gonna be buried in his ass so you won’t see it…” he said as he elicited more sounds out of Ichigo.

“Get the fuck out!” she screamed.

“You’re no fun,” he grumbled as he moved back and got out. “Turn around unless you wanna see my cock.”

“Ugh!” she said with a roll of her eyes as she turned around.

Shinji smirked and dressed quickly and then looked at Ichigo who looked positively debouched clinging to the side of the pool. “Come on, babe, finish this elsewhere where nasty lesbians don’t chase us off from our fun,” he said and pulled him up out of the water. Ichigo stumbled, dealing with a state of arousal that was making him wince at every move. Shinji got him into his clothes and led him away.

“Oh, gods, why do you guys have to do this to me,” Ichigo muttered as he was slammed into the wall and Shinji started sucking on his collarbone.

“Because, you are so beautiful when you’re in ecstasy. I just…I want to see it as much as I can before you’re gone,” he whispered as he bit gently into his flesh.

Ichigo had no voice to argue as he hooked a leg around Shinji’s hip and felt like he was going to come apart.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Aizen yawned and looked up as Szayel came into the room. “Ah, Szayelaporro, please tell me, is the test ready?”

Szayel looked at him with a nod. He’d tried everything to put this off. He’d done everything to delay it. He couldn’t delay him forever though. If he found out he was delaying them, Szayel knew he was dead. He swallowed hard and handed the tablet to him.

“So everything is functioning?” Aizen asked.

“Yes, sir. The…the list of boosters available is there on the right, and the full response can be elicited by the scale on the left. I wouldn’t recommend using the…” Szayel tried to tell him.

“You’re excused, I created the thing to start with, you are simply doing the leg work. I know how my own inventions functions work. Go along back to your lab, little rat,” he said as he flicked through the settings. “Nice try on altering the settings though, almost got away with it. We’ll discuss it when the whore is back in my hands.”

Szayel swallowed thickly. He ducked his head and left him. He wanted to tell someone what was happening, but he had no way. He didn’t think that Aizen would ever complete the research, but he had. After many deaths of innocents, he’d finally perfected it. Ichigo had no idea that the implant in his shoulder had never been removed. He had no idea that Aizen never intended to ever let him get away from him.

He didn’t know how to help this. He sighed and put his head in his hands. This was going to destroy Gin, he thought to himself. He just hoped that somehow, the system malfunctioned. He knew that it was unlikely.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Tōsen sat on the porch and listened as the sun set slowly. Beside him, the boy lay with his head on the back of one of the dogs. He was content for the first time in a long time. He heard the door opened and closed and Sajin sat down beside him.

“Is it pretty?” Tōsen asked.

“It is. The sky is lit up in shades of orange and red as the sun sets, and there are light wispy clouds that look like light is exploding behind them. The sun is deep red in color right now and it is almost gone behind the horizon.”

Tōsen nodded. “Lovely. I wonder what the future holds.”

“Why?” Sajin asked suddenly.

Tōsen didn’t need an explanation. “I thought…I thought that he was just and right. I thought that the only way to achieve elimination of criminality was to take true control of criminal elements and dismantle them from within. I did not expect that Aizen would never do what he had promised. What the Shinigami were doing did not work, and I wanted to do more.”

Sajin nodded and sipped his tea. “I’m glad you understand now.”

“I was blind,” Tōsen said and snorted. “In more than one way,” he muttered. “I didn’t understand what he was doing. I thought that there was no way that my friend could be doing something so wrong.”

“I don’t think Aizen was ever really anyone’s friend. How could you stay with what he did to the Kurosaki boy? He kidnapped him. How could that have been in anyone’s best interest?” he said softly.

Tōsen sighed. “I honestly didn’t think of it. I ignored it because if I didn’t I would doubt what I was there for. I turned my head and looked away too many times. I think seeing the boy, in that condition, and finding this one who Aizen would simply kill…I realized that I had been hiding from the truth. I did not want to admit that I chose wrongly. I did not want to see that I had chosen the unjust path.”

Sajin nodded and sipped his tea. Wonderweiss sat up and looked at them. He smiled and crawled up into Tōsen’s lap, surprising him. Sajin watched as Tōsen just put his arms around him and smiled softly. Could it be that one person could change someone so much in such a short amount of time? He looked up as Luna came out and though, why yes, yes it can.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Ichigo couldn’t feel much by the time he made it back to his room. He clung to Shinji though until he dropped him in the small bed and climbed in beside him. He smiled at him.

“Shinji, I can’t move again,” Ichigo muttered.

“Well, you don’t have to,” Shinji muttered as he slid his hand over to Ichigo’s cock. Ichigo gasped.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“You’ll see,” he said as he worked Ichigo into arousal again. “The ability of you young bucks to cum again and again,” he muttered as he smirked at him.

Ichigo rolled his eyes up his head. “Shinji, I can’t…I don’t think I can do it again…”

“You don’t have to,” he muttered as he pulled a packet from his pocket and a condom. He winked at him and to Ichigo’s confusion, Shinji slid the condom down on him. Ichigo stared.

“Wait, are you…” he said and before he could say anything else, Shinji and slicked Ichigo with the lube and positioned himself over him.

“Unless, of course, you don’t want to…” Shinji said as he held himself over him on his knees. “I mean, I just thought you might want to give as well as receive…”

Ichigo just nodded then gasped as Shinji slid himself down in one move. Shinji let out a low moan and he sat against his hips. “Fuck, been a while…” he muttered as he sat still for a moment.

“Don’t…don’t hurt…yourself…” Ichigo said as he panted. Shinji smiled and started moving on him.

“Don’t worry, Ichi, when I said that you would be able to take two cocks, it was personal experience…” he muttered as he slowly rode him until he found the spot he was looking for. “Um, there,” he muttered and then worked his body slowly before pitching up to a more frantic pace.

Ichigo had never done this, and he was not really sure how to feel about it. He reached up though and clung his hands onto Shinji’s hips as he watched him move his body over him. He felt Shinji’s body clenching him and he was about to go over the edge again.

“Shin…Shinji…I’m…” he gasped out.

“S’okay, me too,” he muttered as he began to move faster and to Ichigo’s surprise, Shinji went without having his own cock touched at all. When Shinji’s body spasmed around him he went immediately, the heat and pressure making it impossible for him not to go over. Shinji fell forward onto him and smiled.

“Hmm, looks like you aren’t a bad top, huh?” Shinji said as he kissed his chest.

“You said…you did two?” Ichigo said, actually interested.

“I told you Rose likes to fuck,” he muttered as he rolled off Ichigo to his side. “And well, so does Kensei and Love. So we had some fun a few times. Took a while but I got to the point I took both Kensei and Love. Rose liked to watch it and suck me off while he jerked himself off,” Shinji said with a yawn. “Rose has calmed down a bit, but he’s still a horny bitch.”

Ichigo got up and used the bathroom and came back. Shinji had dressed and sat on the bed now and waited. “How do you feel now?” he asked.

Ichigo nodded. “I really can’t explain how I feel, Shinji. I know…I know it shouldn’t make a big difference…” Ichigo turned and looked at him. “But I…”

Ichigo stopped talking and stared blankly at Shinji for a moment. Shinji frowned. “Ichigo?”

Ichigo’s eyes crossed and then Shinji gasped out loud. “Oh fuck!”

Shinji tried to get out the door, but he wasn’t fast enough as Ichigo grabbed his ankle and twisted him to the floor. He panted and looked up. “Ichigo!” he yelled at him as he held his hands on Ichigo’s shoulders. “Listen! You can hear me!”

Ichigo couldn’t though, as he jerked his arm and punched down hard into Shinji’s face. Shinji passed out immediately. Ichigo stood up and went for the door. He stood there for a long moment. Someone opened it from the outside, Ichigo just ran through them, and out of the room. He skidded to a stop at the end of the hallway where Isshin was standing.

“Ichigo!” Isshin said and Ichigo looked at him. Isshin stepped back. “What the hell?”

The color in his sclera had bled completely black, the irises turning golden, and he looked at Isshin like he didn’t know him. He turned and ran back the other way. Isshin went after him, but it didn’t take long for Ichigo to manage getting out of the building, with more than a few broken doors in the process. Isshin went into the room and brought Shinji around.

“Ah,” he muttered as the salts hit his nose. “Where…where’s he gone…” he muttered.

“What was that?” Isshin asked.

“The implants…he must never have taken Ichigo’s out…” he said as he sat up slowly. “The chemicals…they increase adrenaline, cortisol, and it offers a vehicle to communicate commands through given inputs of certain chemicals. I’m guessing the command was to come back to him.”

“To Aizen?”

Shinji nodded as he got to his feet. “Yeah, that’s what the experiments were for. He was trying to make the perfect soldiers. Stronger, faster, and completely obedient. That’s why he used Ichigo, he wanted him to be the first that it worked on. Looks like he managed to get it figured out finally…”


	11. By His Rage

 

The first thing Ichigo realized when coming to consciousness was that he was in pain. His back, shoulders and legs felt like they were going to come apart. He gasped out loudly and felt like he was going to stop breathing.

“You’re awake,” he heard Sōsuke.

He looked and saw him standing in front of him. The room was dark. He realized why his arms and back hurt. His arms were tied around a metal rod that ran under his armpits. His arms were twisted up and around the other side and stretched far too much and secured by a series of rope loops that ran over his fingers. He swore he felt the bones in his hands being pulled apart on both sides. His legs were in pain because he was sitting in a wide W and another metal rod ran behind the small of his back. His ankles were pulled over the top of it an angle that put pressure on his knees and his hips. He felt something around his neck, a metal collar of some sort, and he realized he was bent forward with the chain attached to it connected to a ring in the floor. There was no way to move at all, and he let out a low whine. It didn’t help that he was stripped naked as well.

“Good. I want you awake. You left me, Ichigo. I told you not to do that, didn’t I?” Sosuke asked as he walked around him.

“Sosuke, I tried…Gin…he took me…I didn’t want to go…and the Shinigami…” he gasped out.

“Don’t fucking lie to me, boy. You enjoyed your time there, at least, that’s what your body tells me,” he said as he circled him. Ichigo swallowed. “Who was fucking you?”

Ichigo didn’t respond but Sosuke put a foot up between his shoulder blades and pressed forward. He did scream out then. “Gin! Gin!” he gasped out.

The pressure let up. “Hmm, so he took you because he wanted you, did he?” Sosuke said and walked around him. “I’ll let you suffer a while and think about if you’ve told me everything. Oh, sorry,” Souske said and turned to the wall behind him. “I don’t want you getting comfortable.” There was a click and cold air blasted his back. “Enjoy.”

Ichigo couldn’t see him but he realized where he was. It was the huge freezer that was downstairs. He gasped as he started to shiver. This was too much, he couldn’t stand this… 

“Sosuke!” he yelled. “I love you, please don’t do this!”

Sosuke smirked and walked away. Grimmjow stood and looked in the glass windows of it and then back to the door. Aizen had locked it with a padlock and taken the key. He could see the thermostat was set to -20 Celsius. He bit his lip and left to see what the fuck Szayel had done to get him back here. He knocked on the medical door and Szayel opened it. Szayel saw the look on Grimmjow’s face.

“He came back,” he whispered.

“Yeah, and Aizen put him in the fucking freezer and bound him up in a painful stress position. He’s not going to be able to walk or fucking use his hands if Aizen keeps him like that for long.”

“Come in,” Szayel said and stepped back. He closed the door behind.

“How the fuck did he get him out of the Shinigami facility?” Grimmjow asked.

Szayel sat down and ran his hands through his pink hair. “The fucking implants. Aizen started this about five years ago. He’d come up with a device that could generate hormones in the body. The obvious application would be for people lacking one, like thyroid or insulin. It was an exciting discovery. Somehow, he’d managed to configure a small device…” Szayel opened the drawer and put a small square device with hair fine wires emerging from the top and bottom. It was a shiny white in color. “It takes blood and synthesizes it into the necessary hormones. He calls it the White. The outside surface is coated with another invention of his. This one is what generates these fine wires, but they aren’t wires, they’re nerve fibers. The fucking bastard is a genius. He managed to make something that could artificially create functional nerve fiber.”

Szayel spun the small device in his fingers. “But of course, he doesn’t care about the medical applications of this. Then, the fact is that his research was entirely collected by experimenting on live human subjects over ten years. The last five were when he started really working on it. His idea was that he could use this and a chemical cocktail he created to program someone. When the chemical is introduced into someone without the White, it does nothing. It has no way to do anything except maybe mess with the person briefly. However, the White, which synthesizes based on the composition of the blood, is able to take this chemical cocktail and read it. The chemical, once introduced, is eventually taken over by the body, and it becomes a normal part of their body chemistry. As long as the White is inactive, nothing happens.” Szayel tossed it to Grimmjow who caught it.

“What happens when it is active?” Grimmjow asked.

“Well, for one thing, death in most the trials. Then we tried that group of Shinigami we captured, and Ichigo, of course. The results were dubious. He couldn’t get the White to actually initiate any sort of programming. It just kept synthesizing the various hormones and neurotransmitters and wreaking havoc on their bodies. So we abandoned it and all the devices were removed, but Aizen left Ichigo’s. The one in him was the prototype that he believed would be the eventual success. He believed that problem wasn’t in the device itself, but in the programming. So he kept altering the chemical injections. He’s been testing it on human subjects ever since. He handed it over to me with instructions to finish the chemical formulas a few weeks ago. I delayed as much as I could.”

Grimmjow ran his fingers over the odd feeling white skin of the device. That’s what it felt like, skin. “So how did he figure out how to ‘program’ someone like Ichigo?”

Szayel leaned back. “Before Gin left with him, Aizen had been dosing him with various chemical compositions. He monitored the device, and he realized the longer it was in Ichigo, the deeper the neural fibers integrated with his nervous system. When he was here, I took scans. The device is fully integrated and can’t be removed now without killing him. The artificial fibers it created have run throughout his entire nervous system. Unfortunately, when he was gone, Aizen took the scans and with that, he figured out how to solve the last problem.”

“What was that?” Grimmjow asked.

“How to transmit an actual command using the chemicals.”

“How the fuck can you do that?” Grimmjow said with a shake of his head. “That doesn’t make any fucking sense.”

Szayel sighed. “I know it doesn’t, but he basically managed to implant a set of commands into the device. Those commands are simple, of course. Since the fibers run into his brain now, they can activate different areas depending on the part of the brain. The commands are things like ‘fight’, ‘kill’, and the one he activated, ‘return’. The return command is associated with a location, and the neural fibers activate the memory centers of the brain, while dampening everything else like the higher functions. Depending on the chemicals introduced by the White, one of the commands can be triggered, and the rest of the brain functions are shut down.”

“What changed? Why did it work all of a sudden?”

Szayel sighed. “Time. The trials failed because he didn’t give the White enough time to integrate. He had guessed that might be the case, so that was why he left his best prototype in Ichigo.”

Grimmjow put the device down. “So that’s it? He figured out how to create obedient soldiers. And there’s no way to reverse it?”

“Well, all that has to be done is to not use it and shut off the growth functions. Unless it malfunctions, then that’s a whole other set of problems. If left alone, in the growth function, the neural fibers will eventually over take the natural biological structure and kill him.”

Grimmjow nodded. He sat quiet for a long time and then stood up. “I can’t do this. Szayel, you never saw me today.”

He got up and went out through a side exit and kept going. He went to the garage and got into his SUV. He started it and headed out of the compound. He went through the checkpoints and kept driving. He sighed as he came to the place he was looking for. It was a place he never thought he’d come to. He got out and hoped he didn’t get tackled or some shit.

Immediately he was surrounded by men. He put up his hands. “Take me to Gin. It’s about the kid.”

He sat some time later in a conference room and waited. Gin came in with someone that surprised Grimmjow. It was Shinji, one of the captured experiment victims. A blonde man with a bucket had and a man with black hair and bit of facial hair came in with them.

“Gin,” he said with a nod.

“What happened?” Gin asked as he sat down. “It must be bad, for you to leave.”

The others sat down. “The kid, he came back, never seen anything like it. His eyes were all weird and he just walked right into the compound. Aizen was waiting for him. He just passed out and Aizen took him into the main building.”

“Then what?” the dark haired man asked.

Grimmjow described the torturous method that Aizen had started with. “That won’t be all. He said he plans to make him suffer for a long time, mostly to see how far he can push him before he breaks. No other reason. He didn’t say what else he planned to do, but it isn’t going to be good.”

“We have to get him out,” Shinji said and looked at Gin. “We can’t let him stay there. I can take us back through the tunnel system that we got out through. I still remember where the entrance is from the outside.”

“We don’t know…” the blonde started.

“Kisuke, we have to do this. If we don’t, he’s going to die. If he doesn’t die, he’ll be better off dead by the time Aizen is done with him,” Gin said softly.

“I can’t stop you, especially not when you want to save my son,” the dark haired man said.

Grimmjow looked at him and nodded. “I’d help you but there’s no way I’ll fit through those tunnels you’re talking about.”

“Come on, we need to get ready,” Gin said as he headed out followed by Shinji.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

When the door opened again, Ichigo almost wept in relief at the warm air that rushed into it. He couldn’t feel his fingers or toes anymore and he was sure that he wouldn’t be able to stand even if he wanted to. He felt the chain on his neck being released. He was so glad that he didn’t see who it was until he looked up and stared.

“Hey, bitch,” Yammy said with a smirk. “Remember our last encounter?”

Ichigo couldn’t talk because he had several of his men with him. He shook his head and stared between them.

“Well, Aizen was kind enough to send us down to warm you up a bit. I know you must be cold, huh?” he said and pulled hard on the chain at his throat. “So shall we?”

Hours later, Ichigo had no idea how many, he was lying on the floor of the freeze half conscious. The bars and ropes had been removed, and unfortunately, used for tortuous things. The drain in the freezer was stained red now. He just stared at the blood slipping away down the drain. At least it wasn’t cold…

His relief was short lived as he felt himself being pulled up by his hair. He looked up at Aizen again. “Did you have a good time?”

Ichigo couldn’t talk, his throat was raw from screaming. He looked at Sosuke with pleading eyes. “No, no, I’m not nearly done with you,” he said. He pulled him to his feet and Ichigo saw a bench that had a chair at the end of it. He sat him heavily in the chair and Ichgio barely could stay seated. He didn’t have to think long, because he wrapped ropes around him and tied him to the chair. He moved around behind him and pulled both his arms behind him, twisting them up painfully until he’d pushed his palms together and pointing upward. He screamed out as he wrapped rope around his hands to keep them in that position. The pain in his wrists was horrible as he pushed him back in the chair. He gasped as he then tied his legs down to the bench. The ropes ran down to his knees. Sosuke smiled and slid a block of wood under his calves, pushing them upward and bending his knees somewhat backward.

“There, isn’t that pretty?” he said with a smirk as he walked around him.

“Stop…” he gasped out. “Please…just stop…”

“No, here, that mouth of yours is a problem,” he said as he left the freezer and came back with something meatal and leather. He forced something into his mouth and pulled back on the straps and he felt his mouth pulled open until he thought he was going to dislocate his jaw.

“Hmm, there, now…” he muttered as he picked up a long rod that was leaning on the wall. “Your feet are always so sensitive, you know. Let’s see how long you can handle it.”

Ichigo gasped and coughed as he started whipping the soles of his feet with some sort of cane. He couldn’t think how long it lasted, but it felt like hours upon hours before he stopped and put it down. It was bloody by then. He reached under the bunch and pushed another block of wood underneath his calves and Ichigo was sure he heard something crack. Sōsuke again turned to the temperature dial and Ichigo felt the cold air return again. He was going to die like this. There was no way he wasn’t.

Still, though, all he could feel was a degree relief. As much pain as he was in, it was Sōsuke. He was with him. No matter what happened he was back with Sōsuke. He just had to survive it, and then Sōsuke would take him back and everything would be like it was before. In the back of his mind, Ichigo knew that that wasn’t true.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Ichigo looked up with relief when the door opened again. It was Sōsuke again and he was smiling. “Ichigo, I have a chance for you to redeem yourself. Would you like to take it?”

Ichigo nodded furiously. Anything he had to do. Aizen nodded to Szayel who came over and started untying him. Szayel’s face was pinched in some expression but Ichigo practically collapsed forward when he pulled the awful mouth gag out of him.

“You can’t redeem yourself, Ichigo, if you can’t walk on your own,” Sōsuke said.

Ichigo looked up at him and put all his will into standing. He collapsed a few times, but eventually he got to shaking feet. He had no idea how long he’d been in here. He stopped feeling hunger or thirst while he was bound on the floor. His hands were shaking badly and he was sure his fingers and toes were frost bitten. Szayel helped him put on a yukata and he stumbled after Sosuke and into the main room. Sosuke smiled at him as he stood there shivering and shaking. He pulled a gun from his jacket and put it in Ichigo’s hand. Ichigo frowned and looked up at him.

“You want to redeem yourself, right?” Sosuke asked.

“Yeah,” he croaked. He felt like his jaw was loose and every muscle was slow to respond.

“Good. Bring them in.”

Ichigo looked up and saw to his abject horror that two of the guards were dragging two people into the room. “No,” he croaked as his hand shook harder.

Gin and Shinji both looked like they’d been beaten the hell out of. Both of them were bloody and staring at him.

“Ichigo!” Shinji gasped out. “Are you hurt? What’d he do to you?” The guard by him elbowed him in the face and pushed him to his knees.

“Kneel,” the other guard growled and pushed Gin to the floor by Shinji. Gin didn’t say anything he just looked at Ichigo with those piercing blue eyes.

Sosuke walked to Ichigo and put his hands on his shoulders. “Kill them, my love.”

Ichigo turned and looked at him. “What?”

“Shoot them. Kill them both and I’ll take you right back to our room. I’m set you in a hot bath, then I’ll make us tea, then you’ll be able to rest after your ordeal. Then, you’ll have proven your loyalty and love to me. I’ll even take away the order that you are to go to Barragan’s whore house and work each month. I know it is quite generous of me, yes, love?” he whispered in his ear.

Ichigo stared at the gun that was in his shaking hand. Kill them? Kill Gin and Shinji? How could he kill them? They had shown him kindness and…love? He stumbled forward, his left arm cradled against his body. He was sure that that shoulder was out of joint, and the wrist was probably broken. He limped toward them and pointed the gun at Gin’s head.

“Ichigo, don’t worry,” he said quietly and looked at him. “If it makes you happy, if this is what you want, do it. I don’t regret anything I did. I’ll die happy if it is your choice. I can’t live if you stay with him, so just finish things.” He smiled at him and Ichigo swallowed hard. He looked back at Sosuke.

“Please, I can’t…” he said.

“If you don’t, I’m taking you back down to the freezer, Ichigo. And the torture you’ve endured so far will be nothing compared to what I will do to you. If you though Yammy’s first visit with you was bad, you have no idea what the next one will be like. I’ll remove the instructions not to hurt you too severely and let them do what they want,” he said with an even face. “I’ll break every bone in your body before I’m done, and then I’ll let you suffer. If you’re lucky, I’ll let you die, Ichigo. Now, kill them.”

Shinji looked at him now and smiled. “Ichigo, don’t worry about us. Do what you have to do,” he said with a soft smile.

Ichigo held the gun up again and felt tears running down his face. He shook his head and cocked it back. There was a second, and his heart beat sound very loud and his eyes shot open. Shinji looked up to see his eyes slowly clouding over with the blood flooding into the sclera. Gin stared up at him too. Ichigo gasped and put his hand over the hollow of his shoulder. He looked back at Sosuke. He had a tablet in his hands.

“You will do it whether you want to or not, Ichigo,” he said and tapped something.

Ichigo’s body jerked and he fell to his knees in agony. He saw blood dripping from his eyes and felt it running from his ears. He couldn’t hear and everything was blanking out in his mind.

_No._

The word reverberated in his head as his body betrayed him and he stood up and held a no longer shaking hand up and placed the gun on Gin’s forehead.

_No._

He tilted his head to the side and shook his head again.

_No more._

He felt a surge of something and his head was on fire. His finger shook over the trigger.

“No…more…no more…” he growled finally and spun around to face Sosuke, the gun still raised in his hand. Sosuke had time to try and tap in something on the tablet before Ichigo’s finger pressed down on the trigger. Ichigo gasped and fell to his knees as he watched Sosuke’s forehead blossom red and he slumped to the floor limply.

The whole room had gone silent. The only noise was Ichigo’s ragged breathing and then the clatter of the gun falling from his hands. He swallowed and realized that the men were staring at him now. For a second he didn’t know why no one had shot him. Then it dawned on him. He was Aizen’s second. Even if Aizen had done it to humiliate him and mold him, he’d still told everyone that he was his second. He was still the leader of them when Aizen died.

“Go…away…” he growled. “Leave me.”

The guards on Gin and Shinji nodded and walked away. The minute they left Gin and Shinji both scrambled to him. Shinji lifted his face as he panted heavily.

“Baby, baby,” he whispered. “Oh gods, baby, we need to get you looked at…” he whispered.

“So the fucking whore had the stones to kill him after all,” a rough voice came from behind them. Ichigo look up and froze.

Gin turned to him. “Yammy. Get the fuck out of here. This is not your concern.”

“Yeah, see it is. I’m not going to let this place be taken over by a pussy boy like him. I’m taking charge now,” he said as he moved toward them.

Shinji growled and Ichigo looked up and realized his eyes were turning bloody black as well. He moved faster than Yammy could counter as he spun around on the floor and swept the larger man’s legs out from under him. While he was down he grabbed the gun Ichigo had dropped and stood up and pointed it at him.

Yammy laughed. “Fucking Shinigami. You can’t shoot me.”

Shinji flinched as a hand took the gun from him. He saw Gin standing there and he nodded toward Ichigo. Shinji knew this wasn’t his fight at all. Ichigo had stood up again, holding heavily onto Gin’s arm. He reached for the gun.

“I’m not a Shinigami,” he whispered hoarsely and fired the entire clip into his stomach.  “You’ll die. Slowly. You’ll suffer like I did,” he whispered and let Shinji pry his fingers off the grip again.

“Come on,” Gin said and wrapped an arm around his back. “You’re hurt. We need to get you to a doctor.”

Ichigo stopped though and dropped to the floor by Aizen. He reached out and put his hand against Sosuke’s cheek. Gin and Shinji stepped back to give him the moment.

“I loved you,” he whispered to him. “I really did. I just wanted you to love me as much as I loved you, but I know now that it was all fake. It, none of it, was real. But I’ll miss you so much that I’ll hurt inside. I know that. But…this was the only way. I think I always knew the only way out was through death. I always thought it would be mine,” he said and gently closed the open and staring eyes.

Shinji and Gin helped him to his feet, each one holding him up on either side. No more words were needed as Ichigo left everything that hurt in that room. In there, he left all the pain that he had ever felt in his heart. He left it there on a bullet.

**Author's Note:**

> Autism Self-Advocacy Network  
> • info@autisticadvocacy.org   
> • http://autisticadvocacy.org/   
> National Alliance on Mental Health  
> • 1-800-950-6264  
> • http://www.nami.org/   
> Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance  
> • 1-800-826-3632  
> • http://www.dbsalliance.org/   
> Transgender Youth Equality Foundation  
> • 207-478-4087  
> • http://www.transyouthequality.org/   
> Trans Student Educational Resources  
> • TSER@transstudent.org   
> • http://www.transstudent.org/   
> Stopbullying.gov  
> • https://www.stopbullying.gov/   
> PACERS National Bullying Prevention Center  
> • 1-800-537-2237  
> • http://www.pacer.org/bullying/   
> Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration  
> • 1-877-SAMHSA-7  
> • https://www.samhsa.gov/   
> National Suicide Prevention Hotline  
> • 1-800-273-8255  
> • https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/   
> Suicide Prevention Resources  
> • http://www.sprc.org/   
> American Foundation of Suicide Prevention   
> • https://www.afsp.org/   
> The American Association of Suicidology   
> • http://www.suicidology.org/   
> Crisis Text Line  
> • Text "Start" 741-741  
> • http://www.crisistextline.org/   
> S.A.F.E. Alternatives  
> • 1-800-DONTCUT  
> • http://www.selfinjury.com/   
> Trans Lifeline  
> • US: 1-877-565-8860 Canada: 1-877-330-6366  
> • https://www.translifeline.org/   
> GLBT National Youth Talk   
> • 1-800-246-7743 (M-F, 4pm-12am EST/Sat, 12pm-5pm EST)  
> The Trevor Project  
> • 1-866-488-7386 (24/7)  
> • Text “Trevor” 1-202-304-1200 (F 4pm - 8pm EST)  
> • http://www.thetrevorproject.org/   
> Disaster Distress Helpline   
> • 1-800-985-5990  
> • Text "TalkWithUs" 66746  
> National Sexual Violence Resource Center  
> • 1-877-739-3895  
> • http://www.nsvrc.org/   
> RAINN- Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network  
> • 1-800-656-4673  
> • https://www.rainn.org/   
> National Sexual Assault Hotline  
> • 1-800-656-4673  
> The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence  
> • 303-839-1852  
> • http://www.ncadv.org/   
> The National Domestic Violence Hotline  
> • 1-800-799-SAFE  
> • http://www.thehotline.org/   
> The National Resource Center on Domestic Violence  
> • 1-800-537-2238  
> • http://www.nrcdv.org/   
> Warm Ear Line  
> • 1-866-WARM EAR (927-6327)  
> • http://warmline.org/   
> National Human Trafficking Resource Center   
> • 1-888-373-7888  
> • Text BeFree (233733)  
> National Runaway Safeline   
> • 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) (24/7)  
> • http://www.1800runaway.org/   
> USA National Child Abuse Hotline   
> • 1-800-422-4453 (24/7)  
> National Safe Place   
> • Text SAFE and your current location to the number 69866 (24/7)  
> • http://nationalsafeplace.org/   
> National Eating Disorders Association   
> • 800-931-2237 (M-F, 11:30 am-7:30 pm EST)  
> • http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/   
> ANAD: National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders   
> • 630-577-1330 (M-F,12 pm-8 pm EST)  
> • http://www.anad.org/


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